I've been reading alot of posts about women TTC.....and it seems to me to be a major stress in alot of lives.... Does it have to be that stressful?? I know this will probably piss some people off - and I apologize up front for that. What ever happened to the 'fun' of making a baby? I totally understand the feelings of needing/wanting a baby - I am going thru that right now. We are trying to conceive - but I told myself from the start - if it's meant to happen, it will happen. I'm 37 years old, so if it doesn't happen relatively soon, it's probably not going to happen....but I hear young girls (under age 30) totally stressing about having a baby. I completely feel for all of you, really. But I did want to add - the STRESS of trying to conceive IS having an affect on your efforts. Relax.....enjoy your husbands....it WILL happen when it is supposed to happen.

no i agree. harrison and i are of the mind if it happens it happens. i watch my CM and that's it. i relax and enjoy sex just like i've always done. i totally understand

Well, I have female probs with the PCOS and not ovulating or ovualting super late so I have no clue when I can or if I can right now get preggo... I did m/c in Feb and now I no ovualting period.
I have stopped stressing about it though... it was causing more probs than needed. I still temp and all because when I go to the dr they will prob want me to temp and I will already have that covered.
I currently take 3 pill daily for the PCOS and I just can't "set it and forget it" per sae... Since I have NO CLUE when I can get preggo...
Thats frustrating. I just can't leave it to fate with my problems or it may never happen...
But, you are right... the stress is HORRID!!! And between that and the M/c I almost went :nutts
I temp and take my meds and use my monitor but its just a morning ritual... other than that I have tried to enjoy life, my job and my hubby! You are so right about that! :)
I hope you have your miracle soon as well Darling! :hugs

I've been reading alot of posts about women TTC.....and it seems to me to be a major stress in alot of lives.... Does it have to be that stressful?? I know this will probably piss some people off - and I apologize up front for that. What ever happened to the 'fun' of making a baby? I totally understand the feelings of needing/wanting a baby - I am going thru that right now. We are trying to conceive - but I told myself from the start - if it's meant to happen, it will happen. I'm 37 years old, so if it doesn't happen relatively soon, it's probably not going to happen....but I hear young girls (under age 30) totally stressing about having a baby. I completely feel for all of you, really. But I did want to add - the STRESS of trying to conceive IS having an affect on your efforts. Relax.....enjoy your husbands....it WILL happen when it is supposed to happen.


I totally agree 100% with you!
I was stressed out freaking out terrified for the first FEW YEARS we were trying to concieve, and did it help? Nope, not one little bit :lol It actually contributed to my anxiety disorder.

Then I gave it up to God (not everyone believes, but I do) and I told him whatever you have in store for me, will be ok with me :lovestruck

And I came to realize there is a reason he wanted my son to be an only child for the first ten years of his life. I started to look at the "good" things. One college, one car, one wedding, etc. We had a few other major blows in our life/marriage that had to be worked out as well, and ONLY when I was totally at peace, did I get blessed again. :goodvibes

I know what you mean, DH and I were in the mindset it will happen when it happens and we got pregnant both times on the first try!!! I never took temps or anything! With this baby I did use the OPK but it was because I was on day 28 and was having the ovulation discharge and sure enough I was ovulating!! Stress defintly makes it harder to get pregnant!

I have a lot of friends like that. They act as if they are running out of time so fast and they are in their twenties... I wasn't trying and I had sex when I had sex and pow! I found out I was pregnant. I think when people stress about it the whole situation gets worse... The best thing to go is chill out about it and enjoy sex for what it's worth and let God give you a lil blessing when he feels that the timing is right...

reading everything on here about ttc has been very helpful. db and i of course have not started to ttc and wont for a few more years, but i have learned so much from on here! most importantly just to relax, and that is what i plan on doing and hopfully that will work. i sometimes feel so stressed out for you ladies on here that are ttc so bad i worry for you!! i think this is such a helpful, supportive site though and i have learned so much! i guess that's all i wanted to say :)

You know I heard that alot from alot of people. The whole "if its meant to be it'll happen" Ummmm It took fertility medication to get my son here. So does that mean it wasnt meant to be for me? I'm sorry, and I don't mean to get pissy but sometimes TTC IS stressful. SOME people cant just have sex and go from there. Had I of not charted, temped, took meds, and the like I would NOT have my son here today. I had 9.5 years of unprotected sex. No amount of relaxing was gonna help me. So yeah the statement "if its meant to be it'll happen" irks me to no end because that is like telling me since I HAD to use other means then maybe it truly wasn't meant for me. I'm not lying when I say that relaxing etc wasn't gonna happen for me...

Why should those with fertility issues not temp, chart, use medication and the like? Sometimes that is what it takes and they are just as deserving as anyone else. yes it can be stressful. Hell we had to plan our sexlife when I took the fertility meds. But you know what? I'd do it all over again because in his room is napping the most amazing little boy I have ever met and I gave birth to him. Thru treatment and all that other stuff. And I like to think I am a damn deserving and pretty good mom

ETA I can also tell you that telling people to relax and the like isn't truly helpful to them. It was really annyoing and sometimes hurtful to hear that ALL the time

luckily I'm not stressing about it...yet. i believe everything happens for a reason and when we're ready it will happen. but then again dh has been gone and is going to be home very soon. i think he'll stress over it more than i will though. lol. he's wanted a baby waaay longer than i have

You know I heard that alot from alot of people. The whole "if its meant to be it'll happen" Ummmm It took fertility medication to get my son here. So does that mean it wasnt meant to be for me? I'm sorry, and I don't mean to get pissy but sometimes TTC IS stressful. SOME people cant just have sex and go from there. Had I of not charted, temped, took meds, and the like I would NOT have my son here today. I had 9.5 years of unprotected sex. No amount of relaxing was gonna help me. So yeah the statement "if its meant to be it'll happen" irks me to no end because that is like telling me since I HAD to use other means then maybe it truly wasn't meant for me. I'm not lying when I say that relaxing etc wasn't gonna happen for me...

Why should those with fertility issues not temp, chart, use medication and the like? Sometimes that is what it takes and they are just as deserving as anyone else. yes it can be stressful. Hell we had to plan our sexlife when I took the fertility meds. But you know what? I'd do it all over again because in his room is napping the most amazing little boy I have ever met and I gave birth to him. Thru treatment and all that other stuff. And I like to think I am a damn deserving and pretty good mom

ETA I can also tell you that telling people to relax and the like isn't truly helpful to them. It was really annyoing and sometimes hurtful to hear that ALL the time

i never thought about that. hmmmm. now you have def got me thinking. i'm sooo sorry it was so hard for you to get pregnant. i'm glad you did. i think for me it'll happen when it should, but really noe that i'm thinking about it, it isn't always like that

kaymara i never thought about it that way either.

Unfortunately, baby making isn't always stress free. I can see where you're coming from as someone who already has children but what if you didn't have children already? You don't think you would feel stress or anxiety? I think you probably would. Not that having a second child is always less stressfull, but I think you're lucky that you DO have a child, so that pressure to be a mom isn't there like it would be for someone with no children. Know what I mean? I know if I was in Kristi's shoes, being 30+ years old with no children after many years or TTC, I'd go absolutely off the deep end. My greatest desire in life is to be a mommy and I have no idea what I would do if I felt that slipping further and further away. I'd chart, temp, plan my sex life, take meds, IVF, or whatever I needed to do to try to conceive a child.

I wish conceiving was always as easy as having sex around the right time every month but for a lot of people it's not and I can definitely understand why so many women can get stressed about it.

Now, I admit, when I see someone who stressing to the max when it's only been 4 or 5 months, I do think they definitely need to relax and give it more time before freaking. But there are tons of women out there who would not be able to conceive without all of those stressful things, so I really try not to lump everyone into one category. KWIM?

You know I heard that alot from alot of people. The whole "if its meant to be it'll happen" Ummmm It took fertility medication to get my son here. So does that mean it wasnt meant to be for me? I'm sorry, and I don't mean to get pissy but sometimes TTC IS stressful. SOME people cant just have sex and go from there. Had I of not charted, temped, took meds, and the like I would NOT have my son here today. I had 9.5 years of unprotected sex. No amount of relaxing was gonna help me. So yeah the statement "if its meant to be it'll happen" irks me to no end because that is like telling me since I HAD to use other means then maybe it truly wasn't meant for me. I'm not lying when I say that relaxing etc wasn't gonna happen for me...

Why should those with fertility issues not temp, chart, use medication and the like? Sometimes that is what it takes and they are just as deserving as anyone else. yes it can be stressful. Hell we had to plan our sexlife when I took the fertility meds. But you know what? I'd do it all over again because in his room is napping the most amazing little boy I have ever met and I gave birth to him. Thru treatment and all that other stuff. And I like to think I am a damn deserving and pretty good mom

ETA I can also tell you that telling people to relax and the like isn't truly helpful to them. It was really annyoing and sometimes hurtful to hear that ALL the time

I totally see your point Kaymara....and I am not saying that women should not use fertility treatments. I can also understand you being upset with the statement I made about 'if it is mean to be'....I'm sorry if I offended you. That was certainly not my intention....

Now, I admit, when I see someone who stressing to the max when it's only been 4 or 5 months, I do think they definitely need to relax and give it more time before freaking. But there are tons of women out there who would not be able to conceive without all of those stressful things, so I really try not to lump everyone into one category. KWIM?

This is what I was talking about. Yes, I am already a mother. Yes, an additional child would be an additional blessing. I also completely understand about the disapointment of not conceiving, as well as the disappointment and hurt of loss. Please don't take this thread in the wrong way - I think what I was trying to say might have not come out like I was meaning - and I seriously didn't want to come across as insensitive - so I apologize.
....It just seems that some people think that 'if the timing is right' it should just happen - and when it doesn't - it seems that the it's an endless cycle of stress.... I don't want to stress out about it....

Very well said Kristi... When people have problems it isn't so easy and its very depressing to keep getting told just chill it will happen when it won't. The PCOS is bad enough for me to deal with and if you don't ovualte then you aren't getting preggo no matter how much you just chill and have sex. Hell Im on CD 34 right now and have yet to ovulate and no AF in sight... its just life for me. What I would give to have 28-30 day cycles so I could just chill and have sex at even given time and not worry. I wish it was that easy...

That is how DH felt about the whole things too...WHen I finally gave up and got sick of trying and felt like it would never happen is when it happened so I guess it might take a factor in it...if we decide to have anymore I am diffently going to fight the temping and everything and just chart.

I guess it just depends on the situation, I stressed a lil bit when ex h and I were trying to get preggers with Elizabeth and as soon as I gave up and relaxed we were pregnant. I have been trying to tell my sister to relax but she's got endo. and cysts so bad and has been told she only has a certain amount of time. She has gone and spent 200.00 on a monitor and all that kind of stuff all she wants is 1 baby that she can carry by herself an breastfeed etc. I do feel for people with fertility problems.

But see that is the thing.... I have PCOS too.
I did have secondary infertility. Which sucks. Both sides of the coin are EQUALLY hard. Having a child already and not having one. If you want another one, there is no way you can say that is less powerful than someone who doesnt have one yet.

I think the main idea here is, stressing about it, and NOT doing or not being able YET to do all you can... just getting pissed off because you havent been blessed yet, cause your periods are messed up, because its says you ovulated and nothing is happening etc... is NOT worth it. Just temping, OPK, and all that DO up your chances, but that is the VERY VERY VERY begining of it. There are many other routes to go if those do not work. So stressing about THAT stuff, is so not worth it.
Now I could see if you where running out of options getting stressed and worried and freaked out.

But of course, its like a telling a chihuahua to stop shaking :lol It wont ever happen, until that person is ready.

That is all I have to say about it :)


ETA: sorry.. .just one more thing. If ya'll would have seen the look on my Dr face when they did an ultrasound of my ovaries... They are ENLARGED (not good) with so many cysts they QUIT counting them. They have the pictures in my file, and they tell me almost every time I go in there I AM LUCKY I AM PREGNANT, you would see that you CAN get pregnant, no matter what you face. It honest to God just needs to be your time.
Cause we all know, there ARE women out there who do use fertility drugs who still CANNOT concieve.

For some reason my post isnt sitting right with me. :hairout
I know it makes sense to me, but I dont think it will to others :lol

I just want to say, to those that are TTC it will happen for you sooner or later. Its very sad to see those who stress over it. :( Just do all you can, and keep POSITIVE that your time will come. :hugs I hope that comes across more sensible, cause that is how I mean it. :)

For some reason my post isnt sitting right with me. :hairout
I know it makes sense to me, but I dont think it will to others :lol

I just want to say, to those that are TTC it will happen for you sooner or later. Its very sad to see those who stress over it. :( Just do all you can, and keep POSITIVE that your time will come. :hugs I hope that comes across more sensible, cause that is how I mean it. :)
I understood you Lovey!!! :hugs
I am glad that for now I have stepped back and stopped stressing over it so much. It has helped me out mentally so much... If I was faced with trying for much longer than we have it would be harder... I am remaining positive and taking my meds like I should. After this thread I took a shower and started evaluating everything to myself. And I am at the point now that I think I don't want to try anymore... I don't know. Maybe not getting pregnant is okay? I mean Im 24 and DH and I do want more children 3 or 4 would be awesome. But maybe if I just keep taking my meds and give it a chance to straighten out my cycles :pray it will get better. I feel more calm and okay with whatever happens now vs a few weeks ago. :)

I understood you Lovey!!! :hugs
I am glad that for now I have stepped back and stopped stressing over it so much. It has helped me out mentally so much... If I was faced with trying for much longer than we have it would be harder... I am remaining positive and taking my meds like I should. After this thread I took a shower and started evaluating everything to myself. And I am at the point now that I think I don't want to try anymore... I don't know. Maybe not getting pregnant is okay? I mean Im 24 and DH and I do want more children 3 or 4 would be awesome. But maybe if I just keep taking my meds and give it a chance to straighten out my cycles :pray it will get better. I feel more calm and okay with whatever happens now vs a few weeks ago. :)

:hugs Thank you for understanding Chor, and not thinking I was beating up anyone, cause that is what I started feeling like it was saying :(

And I think what your doing is cool. If that is what your heart is saying then that is awesome.
That is what happened to me... I told myself. Having my ONE sweet baby was FABULOUS :D I was thinking, just ONE car, just ONE college, just ONE wedding. :lol Then after David and I came to some HARSH realities in our lives.... :goodvibes We got pregnant!

Not that you and Josh have anything to figure out... you guys are to cute together. But you know what happened with David... and he honestly feels like God wanted to wait until he learned his lessons and paid his price for that before blessing us again.

You have to do what you think is right for you. I think your temping and everything else is great, even if you just use it to keep track of your cycles and see when they are finally "normal". And THEN comes baby :lovestruck

:hugs
That's what Im thinking!
Shoot Jer is 2 kids in one somedays! :lol
If we are blessed soon we will be extactic if not then we will just enjoy life for now and see how things go! :)

See thats the thing. It wasnt STATED that it was because you ovulated and it didnt happen. It simply stated it'll happen when its your time. If its meant to be it'll happen... And why does TTC have to be so stressful etc. Had of the orginial post of said "why do people get so stressed out TTC if it's only been a couple of months" it woulda been different and not of irked me so much. But it just generalized ALL those TTC and unfortuantly not everyone can just forget about it and have it happen.

But I do disagree that it needs to be your time. Had I of gone on the meds sooner I woulda been pregnant sooner. Sometimes you need to MAKE it be your time. Even my Dr said that sometimes the best cure for infertility is getting pregnant. Unfortuantly not everyone can get pregnant and it can be hard.

for almost a decade I heard "if its meant to be it'll happen" So after so many years of hearing that you start thinking..well what..was it not meant to be for me then? Or "in gods time" After so many years you think well shoot..if there is a god then why is he/she punishing me. apparently it isnt my time even tho I would love and care for a child. Yes I got pregnant. But not by the miracle of anything. It took the medication, charting, temping, using my monitor, using opk's, using robitussin, planning my sex life, elevating my hips after having sex for 20 minutes....Thats what got me pregnant.

I don;t mean to come across as bitchy but I just want people to know that sometimes, even if YOUR heart might be in the right place, it truly CAN be hurtful to keep hearing over and over "if its meant to be" "relax" etc. I have seen that in numerous posts and felt that it needed to be said is all. Because I cannot tell you how many times I CRIED when that was said to me after so many times.... Unfortuantly no amount of relaxing will help for some people..... Infertility is MUCH more common then was once previously thought. first, second and third infertility etc. Infertility is hard, hurtful, stressful, and the like. All I could think was why my body didnt work right. Why me. What did I do wrong. Why wasnt I deserving? I WAS deserving and AM deserving. I just needed to chart, temp, and do all that stuff.....

ETA: This forum is TTC, pregnancy and parenting. So there are going to be people posting about, with questions, their frusterations etc on their TTC journey. Just as people post about their pregnancys and such. I know some people dont like to read about TTC and those trying hard just as some don't like to read gripes about pregnancy or the like. I guess that falls into the category that if it does frusterate you that much then simply don;t read it ;)

Dh and I tried off and on for five years to get preggo. I would really stress about it every few months, especially after people would continually ask "when are ya'll going to have children" I finally started telling people that I was going to wait until after I got finished with school when that wasn't what we wanted at all. It was hard. Now looking back on it though I actually got pregnant at the right time (for me) The previous year I was on horrible meds for hepatitis c that just about killed me. To me it was very hard not to get pregnant but it did happen when I tried to forget about it and when I least expected it.

Unfortunately, baby making isn't always stress free. I can see where you're coming from as someone who already has children but what if you didn't have children already? You don't think you would feel stress or anxiety? I think you probably would. Not that having a second child is always less stressfull, but I think you're lucky that you DO have a child, so that pressure to be a mom isn't there like it would be for someone with no children. Know what I mean? I know if I was in Kristi's shoes, being 30+ years old with no children after many years or TTC, I'd go absolutely off the deep end. My greatest desire in life is to be a mommy and I have no idea what I would do if I felt that slipping further and further away. I'd chart, temp, plan my sex life, take meds, IVF, or whatever I needed to do to try to conceive a child.

I wish conceiving was always as easy as having sex around the right time every month but for a lot of people it's not and I can definitely understand why so many women can get stressed about it.

Now, I admit, when I see someone who stressing to the max when it's only been 4 or 5 months, I do think they definitely need to relax and give it more time before freaking. But there are tons of women out there who would not be able to conceive without all of those stressful things, so I really try not to lump everyone into one category. KWIM?

THANK YOU BRANDI.

I do not have a child and it stresses me to the max. I am always a stressed out person and a worry wort so its part of who I am.

I was pregnant once and lost my child at 16 weeks, 4 months along, so tell me now 2 1/2 years later when having a child is all I want, that I should just relax. That is now how I work. We want o have a child, its what feels right for us. You can say relax but that DOES NOT help anyone who is ttc.

We are now coming up on our 7th month of trying and have to worry that dh is deploying again. If he leaves and we do not have a baby on board it will make things so much harder on me.

another thing, when someone comes on here for advice, saying "I think its your month" or "this month looks really good" is only false hope unless things are actually leaning towards the positive side

But I do disagree that it needs to be your time. Had I of gone on the meds sooner I woulda been pregnant sooner. Sometimes you need to MAKE it be your time. Even my Dr said that sometimes the best cure for infertility is getting pregnant. Unfortuantly not everyone can get pregnant and it can be hard.

I understand that Kris... and your right if you went sooner you would have been pregnant sooner. But you didnt so it wasnt your time. And there are so many women who do infertility treatments even as far as IVF and they DO NOT get pregnant, so in fact, it is NOT their time. You can try to "make it" your time as much as you want, but if you are not going to get pregnant no matter what, then obviously it is NOT your time.

But another thing (not directed specifically to anyone ;))... I got pregnant THANK THE LORD, without meds. And nope, it wasnt only trying for a few months like LOTS on here, or even just a few years. I am right behind Kristi, it was going on 9 ever loving years. So I do not know ANY OTHER WAY OF EXPLAINING IT, other than ya know what, it was MY TIME :D

another thing, when someone comes on here for advice, saying "I think its your month" or "this month looks really good" is only false hope unless things are actually leaning towards the positive side

Not sure I understand this... you do not want people to say "I think its your month" or "this month looks really good" :thinking
Or am I reading that wrong?

Honestly I think those who post that stuff to people seriously and truely mean it.

Ok I am going to leave this alone again... I know I said that before, but this time I am going to shut up. I had been TTC for so long, and I dont have any advice to offer that anyone wants to hear :)

I understand that Kris... and your right if you went sooner you would have been pregnant sooner. But you didnt so it wasnt your time. And there are so many women who do infertility treatments even as far as IVF and they DO NOT get pregnant, so in fact, it is NOT their time. You can try to "make it" your time as much as you want, but if you are not going to get pregnant no matter what, then obviously it is NOT your time.

But another thing (not directed specifically to anyone ;))... I got pregnant THANK THE LORD, without meds. And nope, it wasnt only trying for a few months like LOTS on here, or even just a few years. I am right behind Kristi, it was going on 9 ever loving years. So I do not know ANY OTHER WAY OF EXPLAINING IT, other than ya know what, it was MY TIME :D


True. But try telling a woman who has done all infertility treatments, ivf and the like, that it just isnt her time :( My point is sometimes thats a hurtful hing to hear :(

True. But try telling a woman who has done all infertility treatments, ivf and the like, that it just isnt her time :( My point is sometimes thats a hurtful hing to hear :(

Yeah, I can get that. I guess after so long of it NOT being my time, I just got cold to it. LOL.

another thing, when someone comes on here for advice, saying "I think its your month" or "this month looks really good" is only false hope unless things are actually leaning towards the positive side

Exactly. Noone can predict when one will get pregnant - because even if all the stars are aligned - it still might not happen.. Is it better to give out false hope support??? or would you rather here, I'm sorry it didn't happen for you this month - try to relax a little. I don't know what the perfect answer is - and again, I really didn't mean to start this to upset anyone ~ Trust me, I know exactly what those who are trying to conceive are going thru because I am going thru the same thing. It's hard reading some say one month that they are starting to ttc....then boom..the next month that person is pregnant...and then those who have been ttc for a few months - temping, testing, etc come up with nothing. That is very frustrating.

We have been TTC for over a year and I have been stressed about it. I think that is because of my miscarriage and now I think something is wrong with me. I am a natural worry wort so I cant help it. I am not sure if we will still be TTC when he comes home because of recent events. Its just a wait and see for now.

Yeah, I can get that. I guess after so long of it NOT being my time, I just got cold to it. LOL.

I love ya (L)

But I guess I view things differently. I don't believe there is a certain time for things. I dunno. Had I of had better Dr's then I woulda been on meds sooner. So I never got cold to it. I just went from getting my feelings hurt to being genuily ticked when it was said to me...Which is neither here nor there since after so manyyears my kiddos ARE here. I just had been getting frusterated with people posting their frusterations in here only to be told it'll happen when its meant to be...Maybe the hormones in my IUD are affecting me. Whoknows :lol

We have been TTC for over a year and I have been stressed about it. I think that is because of my miscarriage and now I think something is wrong with me. I am a natural worry wort so I cant help it. I am not sure if we will still be TTC when he comes home because of recent events. Its just a wait and see for now.

I feel the same way sometimes - even a little scared to get pregnant again. I had an ectopic rupture a year ago, and it's always in the back of my mind that it's going to happen again. It really scares me to think that I could get pregnant again, and have to go thru the pain and emotions of that again.

I am terrified to get pregnant again also... :(
My Mom said the baby I lost wasn't meant to be and let it go and be glad it was so early and it was my 1st one :blahblah
But as much as I know that is true DAMN it hurt to hear it? I just wanted some love and care you know? :sigh Now I hate talking about the misscarriage and how upset I am about it and how scared I am to get pregnant again because I feel like I have no right to feel this way... there are woman who have lost more than 1 baby and farther along that my "mesly" to some 5 weeks.. but God everyday the thought of the baby crosses my mind. It's getting easier but it's still hard thinking of getting pregnant again and losing another... The pain is sooo heartwrenching :(

I didn't know about ANY of the other ttc-ing methods when we conceived Ethan. All I knew about was Pre-Seed...

I didn't know about ANY of the other ttc-ing methods when we conceived Ethan. All I knew about was Pre-Seed...
Me either! It took me 18 mths to get pregnant with Jer because I wasn't aware of any of those either.. I didn't have normal cycles maybe 1 every 3-6 mths and so we just tried and tried... I was 18 and 19 so myDH refused to talk to a dr. And we did get pregnant eventually. But now with even more female issues I don't know how long it will take... I am just leaving it to fate and just keep temping and using the monitor and pray for a miracle....

different strokes for different folks. i've also heard the "why does it have to be so stressful" from people for whom all the effort hasn't worked for, kinda as a "justification" for why it hasn't worked for them. however, i do also believe in the "it will happen when it happens" as well. we temped, charted, and used the monitor, but that didn't stress us out at all.

a lot of this just demonstrates how badly people want to be parents... and i don't see that as a bad thing.

though i do believe that some tend to get worked up about TTC, HOWEVER i see the same tenacity when people are passionnate about a hobby or something else of that nature.

that being said, i guess you can play devil's advocate for either side :)

I am terrified to get pregnant again also... :(
My Mom said the baby I lost wasn't meant to be and let it go and be glad it was so early and it was my 1st one :blahblah
But as much as I know that is true DAMN it hurt to hear it? I just wanted some love and care you know? :sigh Now I hate talking about the misscarriage and how upset I am about it and how scared I am to get pregnant again because I feel like I have no right to feel this way... there are woman who have lost more than 1 baby and farther along that my "mesly" to some 5 weeks.. but God everyday the thought of the baby crosses my mind. It's getting easier but it's still hard thinking of getting pregnant again and losing another... The pain is sooo heartwrenching :(

i wouldn't look at it that way, though. i mean, how, necessarily, did you estimate 5 weeks when you hadn't had a period in a long time prior? perhaps instead of seeing it as a loss, see it as your body normalizing due to the meds and maybe naturally.

well I was pregnant for 16 weeks, it turned my world upside down and I lost it. I have come to terms with that but now I am ready. My whole life I had no idea what i wanted to be when i grew up but I ALWAYS wanted to be a mommy. And right now that is the one and only thing I dream of. I know if should happen in time but I am impatient and sick of waiting.

Some stress over it more then others, you never know how someone is really handeling it over the internet. You all think I am overly stressed about it when I don't even think about it every day. I don't look for signs that don't appear. But everyone here thinks I stress over it too much. I stress when my period arrives and I know that its another month lost.

I can't imagine my husband deploying, me losing him and having never had the chance to expand his life with a child. I would be devistated if that were to happen.

I am 19 myself, and ttc, and honestly, at this point I don't know a thing about my cycle. I am just coming off of birth control, and I am not temping or tracking, or any of that. I know when my period started, and that is about it. I think that it is great advice to just go with the flow... That being said, I am a fervent TP inspector and POAS addict myself, but I have tried not to let negative tests and that pesky Aunt Flo get me down! I hope all goes well for all of us, and we all conceive in good time.

While not currently TTC, we will be this fall. I don't want to stress too much over it, so DH and I have agreed that if nothing has happened after 3 months, we will temp and chart, but won't let that affect our relationship and normal schedule. And if nothing has happened after 6-9 months, then we will talk to the doctor about more testing, but right now we are both young enough that if it doesn't happen in one year, we aren't going to stress too badly. I can understand it being very stressful for some, especially those with ferility issues, and in some ways I am in your shoes, but for now my attitude is that I am young, and we have time. Ask me again in a year or so, and I may think differently.

its a good mindset going into it and I felt the same way until my period kept showing up month after month.

I've been reading alot of posts about women TTC.....and it seems to me to be a major stress in alot of lives.... Does it have to be that stressful?? I know this will probably piss some people off - and I apologize up front for that. What ever happened to the 'fun' of making a baby? I totally understand the feelings of needing/wanting a baby - I am going thru that right now. We are trying to conceive - but I told myself from the start - if it's meant to happen, it will happen. I'm 37 years old, so if it doesn't happen relatively soon, it's probably not going to happen....but I hear young girls (under age 30) totally stressing about having a baby. I completely feel for all of you, really. But I did want to add - the STRESS of trying to conceive IS having an affect on your efforts. Relax.....enjoy your husbands....it WILL happen when it is supposed to happen.


I agree. I don't understand why people who are like 22 are stressing over it taking a few month to get pregnant. Now when it yakes YEARS I understand but not months.