I guess I'm just question girl this week. :dunno

Did/do you and your SO have really different views on certain aspects of parenting? If so, how are you going to/have you resolved these differences to make you both happy? Are some views just too strong to compromise?


I'm interested in any conflicts. Religious, psychological parenting style, how many kids you wanted, whatever...:wink

Ya know it's funny, for us we had talked about SOO much before hand we knew how each other felt about spanking ,religion, reward system, etc.

We knew from the beginning we wanted 4-5 kids and we have spent hours talking how to raise them. We even bought parenting books and I would highlight things I liked and make little comments about them and then he would read the book and answer back. We actually still do this a lot when he is deployed even with regular books, haha!

We have some differing political views, he's against gay marriage I am fine with it, but as far as parenting we have never argued or fought about how to, we have always agreed!;)

He's very strict.... He puts up with NO crap whatsoever.. He's got the NCO mentality all the time.. But in our situation, it's good, because I'm more of a softy with children, and we balance each other..

I had a helluva hard time with DS's behavior at school right after he left. There was DAILY meetings with his teacher.. DS knew that since DH was gone, he could push the line more.. So I had to change my parenting style to compensate for his absence.. But things are better now...

We've never had any differences with religion, we met at church..

We haven't really had many conflicts...except a bit about religion I have been trying to push brian to find a church he likes so I can start learning about the catholic faith and so Bri can start going but so far he hasn't seemed that interested. We still haven't decided on how many kids we are going to have lol..I think we are just going to play it by ear. the only real thing I think we will have problems with is agreeing on things he can and can't do...lol we have this problem now with our dogs. Brian will get mad at them for doing something and try to get them to stop and I will tell him it is okay....and we will get irritated a bit but I think we will just have to let each other pick our battles on what is serious and what is okay.

Our parenting style is pretty much the same. The only thing we really differ on is how many kids we wanted to have, but that is sort of out of our hands now.

We disagree on some things, so it's really hard. What is important for us is to respect each other's views enough so the conflict isn't too great. He has a hard time understanding why I don't let ds CIO, and he feels differently about discipline than I do.

I think alot of what it comes down to between us is the fact that I am raising DS very differently than he was raised by his own mother. I think he gets insulted because of it.

I can't tell you how many conversations we had about how our children will be raised before we were even engaged. Kids are a big thing for us and as far as the "list" I had for the man I wanted to marry parenting style was a big one and pretty high up there. We pretty much agree on everything. We don't know yet who will be the main enforcer of discipline and who will be the softy because we go back and forth with Sophie, which is probably good since we'll balance well, but it'll be interesting to find out. Spanking, religion and education, rules things like that we agree completely on and as far as going to church and things I used to go to a Baptist church (born and raised) and he was born and went to a Catholic church until he was about 13. We both enjoy going to the Christian church my parents attend and he liked how relaxed it was so we'll be attending a church like that once we get to Cali since we can't find one we like here and there are a few in Cali I've heard WONDERFUL things about. We both plan on raising our kids in a church environment.

The one thing we disagree on is how many kids we want to have. LOL!! Dh says no more than 3 but I want 4 or however many God wants to give us! LOL!!!

We agree on the most important things but of course we differ a little bit with style. Though really it's nothing drastic.

We both have the same ideas and parenting style. Of course, we have a few differing opinions, but it's nothing major. We have always been on the same page :)

we have talked about this for a long time and are on the same page even with his kids and the one on the way. We are very similar. It's so funny because my mom was the one who said what went in my house(mostly because she was home with us all the time and it is still this way :lol) and my dad went along with it or asked her if things were okay...he was more of the softy. I think that's how it is with us but we do agree on most things other than a few small things but there is nothing DRASTIC!

Wow, seriously, you're basically totally compatible about parenting stuffs? I'm uh.... impressed... I guess!

With some things but for the most part we agree.

My husband is laid back, almost to a fault. The only conflict we've had lately is how many kids we'll be having. The other night he says to me - out of the blue - "If our next child is a boy, I'm getting a vasectomy.". I was like...um...wow thanks for completely cutting me out of that decision. I said "Well then I hope it's a girl." Then we had an argument - then we made up :devil

He just thinks he's too old. :rolleyes

As far as parenting styles though, we're more or less in agreement. Though we differ in our own religions ideals...DH is agnostic, but he knows that I won't allow anyone to stand in my way when it comes to making sure that our children are brought up knowing God - so there's no conflict there either.

My husband and I are like black and white when it comes to the kids.

He is always more *get to it* *do it* type of parent .. Letting the kids learn the hard way, stick to the rules, NO means NO

I'm a bit softer, I let the kids slide by just ignoring what I don't feel like dealing with, I don't alway even remember the rules myself, let alone stick to it.

And, as a result, we're at odds with everything.
However - we've found that this type of comprimise works great:

We have two ways of handling things .. the first way is easier, lighter. Verbals warnings, mild punishment, supportive and understanding. Depending on the issue or situation this either is stuck to for a few days or weeks, or we try to keep it to a need of only once or twice. (This is how I prefer to deal with everything if I can)
IF that doesn't work then we resort to a more strict way of dealing with things - physical punishment (not spanking, usually this entails extra chores and other things the kids abhore), and time out in the corner (not your little time out - but we're talking maybe timeout during dinner, followed with a cold plate of food)

There's only been one issue not easily taken care of by this means ... for the most part things get solved with the first method - they hate the extra chores like cleaning the liter box. Hah!

Ooh, thanks for the compromise advice dears! Good to know that it gets solved either way!