rachaelandyogi
04-13-2007, 12:53 AM
I kept it together until last night. I bawled, he held me and cried a little. Then this morning I took him in and we both held it together until the end. I went home and tried to sleep since I have to work tonight, but I couldn't. Every little thing would set me off again. Tomorrow I am dog sitting for my cuz so at least maybe being out of the apt will help me, i dunno, get a grip? this just sucks. I keep expecting him to walk through the door. or call my work and ask what time he needs to pick me up. it just doesn't seem real. i want my boy back. To top it all off, I'm sick now too. I want to go to bed, but I'm scared to. I haven't slept with out him tucking me in or at least taking me home in so long. I'm sorry I'm being a baby. This is just my life right now. This is how I feel, and I hate it.
showgirl85
04-13-2007, 01:32 AM
I still feel that way and now you have me crying.
rachaelandyogi
04-13-2007, 01:41 AM
I still feel that way and now you have me crying.
aww I'm sorry. it just is so surreal right now. and every once in a while i acutally grasp what is happening, and it sucks. i feel right now like this feeling will never go away because this deployment will last forever.
showgirl85
04-13-2007, 01:47 AM
aww I'm sorry. it just is so surreal right now. and every once in a while i acutally grasp what is happening, and it sucks. i feel right now like this feeling will never go away because this deployment will last forever.
When db left I cried for 5 hours straight the night before he left. I never knew I could cry that much. the next morning I get a call from him, I had been asleep for 2 hours. I get a call from him saying he wanted to hear my voice one more time and that he loved me and that he was going to miss me. I don't really remember him saying any of that except for "i love you". I sometimes still can't come to terms with him being gone. Sometimes I think that he is just going to call. He never does, or that he is going to ring my doorbell. He never does.
Deployments are so freaking hard but I know I will get through it cause I love him more then anything and I want to be waiting outside the gate or on that pier when he steps off the boat.