i have been reading about hedi and a few others that are on shore duty and are being deployed for 14 months. ok so my dh and i are deciding if he wants to re enlist or not so my question is what does your SO do in the navy? dh seems to think he wouldnt be deployed because he is a nuke and they wouldnt need him. any thoughts on the subject

I don't think it really matters what your dh does in the Navy. If they need him over there, they will send him.

Mine is a Corpsman(FMF), but he has a NEC of being a PMT.

I was reading the Navytimes yesterday, and a quote from Vice Adm. Harvey says it all "There are no sidelines anymore.If you're wearing the uniform you are on the front line of service"

I don't think it really matters what your dh does in the Navy. If they need him over there, they will send him.



Yep! Doesn't matter what they do. They can be sent!

Also, I want to add this point, that in all honesty, puts a bad taste in my mouth....Why is it that there are so many families who want their service members to get out, and not reenlist, because they are afraid of getting called out. I mean, what did they join the military for?? And don't say for the education. When that person signs on the dotted line, they MUST know that there is always that chance of being sent to Iraq or anywhere in the world for that matter. Granted, no one wants their loved on sent over there, but you knew what their job is, and they know it too. This is what being in the military is about. To defend our country and freedom.

I don't mean nor want to turn this into something else, but I was curious.

Vice Adm. Harvey says it all "There are no sidelines anymore.If you're wearing the uniform you are on the front line of service"

:yes :yes Doesn't matter no one is excluded

Ohh and dont count on certain amount of time on deployments like old times. That can and does change now. Just a sign of the times and that all things change. Dh did a 10 monther (extended 20 days before returning home after 6 months out to doing a total of 10 months) If they are needed they will stay out, go to Iraq etc. Just part of being in the military ;)

I know where you're coming from Sarah. I feel the same way.

Ohh and dont count on certain amount of time on deployments like old times. That can and does change now. Just a sign of the times and that all things change. Dh did a 10 monther (extended 20 days before returning home after 6 months out to doing a total of 10 months) If they are needed they will stay out, go to Iraq etc. Just part of being in the military ;)


Yup :yes. The old days of 6 month deployments are long gone.

I think some rates are more then likely not going to Iraq....but they are probably few and far between.
For Example: my DF is a QuarterMaster (they do Navigation) and although they have some land based training, 98% of his training is for sea nav. so the liklihood that he would end up over there probably isn't good, but it is the military so NOTHING is a guarantee.

I see what Sarah is saying, but if people are coming up for reenlistment, they need to evaluate anew whether or not they want to continue sacrificing for their country. They've put in their time and I think it's valid to think about the effect that reenlistment would have on the growth of a family, or long-term career plans, etc. I don't think it's like someone who tries to get out in the middle of their commitment.

My husband went to Iraq, and honestly, there is no way he would stay in past his original commitment because we know he'd be sent back for at least a year and that's not what we want for our family and his career.

well there are certain rates that WILL go and all others have the possibility of going
I agree you shouldn't be in if you aren't willing to go but that is a whole nother debate within its self

I see what Sarah is saying, but if people are coming up for reenlistment, they need to evaluate anew whether or not they want to continue sacrificing for their country. They've put in their time and I think it's valid to think about the effect that reenlistment would have on the growth of a family, or long-term career plans, etc. I don't think it's like someone who tries to get out in the middle of their commitment.



I totally see where you are coming from matty ;). Yes, if they are coming up on reenlistment, they do need to re-evaluate whether or not they want to continue to serve their country. The thing that rubs me the wrong way is people who want to get out, whether reenlistment is coming up or not just because they don't want to go to Iraq or Afghanistan. To me, I have to wonder why they even joined?

Yea, I don't want to start a debate

I totally see where you are coming from matty ;). Yes, if they are coming up on reenlistment, they do need to re-evaluate whether or not they want to continue to serve their country. The thing that rubs me the wrong way is people who want to get out, whether reenlistment is coming up or not just because they don't want to go to Iraq or Afghanistan. To me, I have to wonder why they even joined?

This is very true! when you sign on the dotted line to join the military you know it's a possibility no matter what branch you join that you will be sent to war. Re-enlistment is a whole nother case, which (I believe) is where this post started anyways.

My husband is a builder.... A US NAVY SEABEE.... he is going to supervise the rebuling of Afghanistan, just so they can blow the shit up again. I say let them live in damned tent cities.....

I totally see where you are coming from matty ;). Yes, if they are coming up on reenlistment, they do need to re-evaluate whether or not they want to continue to serve their country. The thing that rubs me the wrong way is people who want to get out, whether reenlistment is coming up or not just because they don't want to go to Iraq or Afghanistan. To me, I have to wonder why they even joined?

Absolutely agreed!

yes i started it about his re enlistment he is trying to decide wheather or not to re enlist not get out early. if they send him to iraq now then so be it we cant help it but what we can help is possibly avoiding being sent to iraq if he doesnt re enlist. i agree with what ya said sarah and but weare not trying to get out early just trying to decide weather or not to stay in. we have a while to decide but it is just something we are thinking about. its one of the negatives on our list.

i have been reading about hedi and a few others that are on shore duty and are being deployed for 14 months. ok so my dh and i are deciding if he wants to re enlist or not so my question is what does your SO do in the navy? dh seems to think he wouldnt be deployed because he is a nuke and they wouldnt need him. any thoughts on the subject


I apologize about getting off the original subject, the wording I put in bold is what made me ask the question. I am just seeing this a lot lately. The impression I am receiving from you is "Well, we want to re-enlist ONLY if my dh doesn't have to go to Iraq, so which rates get sent more than others".
Am I correct?

Of course our husbands going to Iraq isn't a positive thing, and yes we would like to try to avoid it, BUT people seem to forget that we are at war, and this is their job. I think we are so used to "peace time", regular deployments and some sort of "stablility" in the military, that we tend to forget that we have been at war for a few years.

"Well, we want to re-enlist ONLY if my dh doesn't have to go to Iraq, no i know there is always a chance he will be sent to iraq or where ever if they need him there we knew that from day one no one is safe but if it was like a 80% chance then we prob. would do it so which rates get sent more than others". yes i wanted to know who is most likely to be sent over there is there shame in that?

]"Well, we want to re-enlist ONLY if my dh doesn't have to go to Iraq.[/B]yes i wanted to know who is most likely to be sent over there is there shame in that?


Well, the bold statement is what gets me upset, but that's neither her nor there. You are entitled to your opinion.

To answer the second question, and I think I stated this in the beginning, along with the other women, it is hard to say which rates will be sent first, because it's such a big spectrum now, and you can't pinpoint a specific rate. It's a chance you are going to take.

Again, what does your dh do in the Navy?

i didnt write what was said in bold you wrote it and asked me if that was what i meant and i rewrote it and replied in red i do not feel that way at all

hes a nuke

No, I put it in bold , so you could see which part of your statement I was quoting. I never said you did.

But I was wondering what your dh does in the Navy.

he is a nuke

he helps keep the nuculear powered ships operational is what he told me

Well, IMO his chances aren't as big as say a MA or a Corpsman. He *could* still be sent, but I really don't foresee him being part of ground forces, but you never know anymore.

yeah thats what he was saying im really sorry if i offended you or anyone else i didnt mean for this topic to be a debate type thing

No worries. I just want to try and find out why people want to get out of the military when they find out they could go to Iraq. To me, it's disrespectful to our country. I keep thinking of the oath they take .....

"I, _________, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

I see what Sarah is saying, but if people are coming up for reenlistment, they need to evaluate anew whether or not they want to continue sacrificing for their country. They've put in their time and I think it's valid to think about the effect that reenlistment would have on the growth of a family, or long-term career plans, etc. I don't think it's like someone who tries to get out in the middle of their commitment.


Totally agree with you. People are allowed to join the military for their own reason, whether it be a college education, or to get out of a small town and get established to make a better life for themselves, to get a little bit of training or get experience while they're going to school so they can get out and be prepared for a civilian job. Not everyone that joins is gung ho for going to war and sacrificing their life, especially for such a widely debated war. There is nothing wrong with that, in my book. :D

To answer your questions, which have pretty much all been answered, he can deploy over there no matter what his rate is, nuke or not. As slim as the chances may be, there will always be that chance, no matter what. Lots of things are changing in the navy right now- from extended deployments to more time at sea to people being deployed as ground forces. So, if that's something that will bother you, you may want to reevaluate whether it will be worth it to your family or not, then go from there.

well remember this
Shore duty is a whole nother issue
My dh was a BT/MM when we went on our first shore duty and then he went to 9545 school for security. That was his option security or janitorial services in a hospital or SIMA. He wanted Sima but we didn't want to stay in SD at the time
ALL people with 9545 are being asked to take orders to Cuba and such.
So a lot of times your shore duty is a nutral duty billet.
Like sarah said MAs, HMs, GMs, SeaBees, YN, BMs etc... are going there faster than most

yes i do agree with you on that one. you just gotta deal with what cha get and not try to get out when things dont go you way dh got in the navy during war time so we knew it was always a possibility and he wouldnt try to get out if he were to have to go to iraq

Totally agree with you. People are allowed to join the military for their own reason, whether it be a college education, or to get out of a small town and get established to make a better life for themselves, to get a little bit of training or get experience while they're going to school so they can get out and be prepared for a civilian job. Not everyone that joins is gung ho for going to war and sacrificing their life, especially for such a widely debated war. There is nothing wrong with that, in my book. :D

no problem with folks doing that BUT too many of them BITCH when they have to go
The military is not the only way to get an education or out of a small town.
Don't want to sound mean but too many people put too much play on that and there are other ways with out "sacraficing" themselves.

no problem with folks doing that BUT too many of them BITCH when they have to go
The military is not the only way to get an education or out of a small town.
Don't want to sound mean but too many people put too much play on that and there are other ways with out "sacraficing" themselves.
my dh got in to care for his family we just had the twins and he got laid off work

To be blunt, we are fighting this war as a military unit of five branches, and I'm really getting pissed off at the way it feels like some of these wives are suddenly "OMG you mean we might actually have to step in and live up to this??" As if wearing our little fucking yellow ribbons and buying the magnets for our cars, and calling ourselves "military wives" was something to be proud of only if our husbands could stay out of harms way. Like we were so lucky to be the exceptions, and it's everybody elses husbands out there getting blown up. We are all in this together, and when our husbands took that oath of enlistment, MOST of them truly meant it.

I know, I'm on a tangent, but DAMN I'm getting tired of it. And go ahead and light me up for saying this - but my husband isn't immune either, and I know it. It's a scary ass life that we live as military families, but I'll be damned if I didn't consider every possibility that presented itself before I agreed to marry my husband.

I agree with Brandi...People join and do things for different reasons, and its not just with the military it can be anything (ie-I took a job in a state far away to escape_________)...Some people who are in the military may not be against war, but maybe they dont believe in this one...But its my husbands job, so if he has to go then he goes...

:neutral

I agree Becca
Dh and I have even discussed him doing the blue to green when our time is up if we don't get reasonable orders with the Navy
Yeah everybody thinks we are nuts but hell he has already been there twice on the ground he can go again and is willing.

Momoftwins
Everybody has their on reason BUT it what you do once you are in that makes you different or the same KWIM

i too looked at all the possibilites when my husband i went to the recruiters office and now that we are deciding weather or not to stay in you best be damn sure im looking at it again! him going to iraq isnt the only thing thats holding us back from re enlisting he wants to be there for his kids and he wants to go home and be near family. yeah im not gonna lie i dont want my dh to go to iraq as im sure none of you do and im sorry if ive pissed some people off but that is not what this post was meant to do i was just asking a question and if you were making the desicion to re enlist or not im sure the iraq thing would be in your minds to. no one wants their husbands there

My whole point is that is OKAY for someone to want to get out when their enlistment is up because they don't want their husband to go to war. Why is that so bad? Does that make someone a bad person and any less of a military wife? I really don't think so. Should everyone that joins stay in for 20-30 years just because that's the right and moral thing to do? We can only hang a yellow ribbon if our husband is sent over there and if we're okay with it? I think not. Like I said, everyone has their own reasons for joining and I think it's pretty shitty to say the people who wish for their husbands to get out for whatever reason, whether it be because they do not want them shipped off to iraq or maybe they have just found a better, more stable lifestyle, are any less of a spouse. That is just shitty. :td

I am not bitching that he is going, but what i am upset with is that he is on shore duty and being taken from that. I am very proud of my husband, I am in shock of how this is happening and the manner that is has been handled. 14 months is a hell of a long time. I did not even fathom the idea that this could happen. I mean my god there are battalions with ready deployable men / women. My husband has been an instructor in a class room since June. I can't and will never understand why they are taking him

My whole point is that is OKAY for someone to want to get out when their enlistment is up because they don't want their husband to go to war. Why is that so bad? Does that make someone a bad person and any less of a military wife? I really don't think so. Should everyone that joins stay in for 20-30 years just because that's the right and moral thing to do? We can only hang a yellow ribbon if our husband is sent over there and if we're okay with it? I think not. Like I said, everyone has their own reasons for joining and I think it's pretty shitty to say the people who wish for their husbands to get out for whatever reason, whether it be because they do not want them shipped off to iraq or maybe they have just found a better, more stable lifestyle, are any less of a spouse. That is just shitty. :td
thank you brandi now i dont feel like everyone is gagning up on me

My whole point is that is OKAY for someone to want to get out when their enlistment is up because they don't want their husband to go to war. Why is that so bad? Does that make someone a bad person and any less of a military wife? I really don't think so. Should everyone that joins stay in for 20-30 years just because that's the right and moral thing to do? We can only hang a yellow ribbon if our husband is sent over there and if we're okay with it? I think not. Like I said, everyone has their own reasons for joining and I think it's pretty shitty to say the people who wish for their husbands to get out for whatever reason, whether it be because they do not want them shipped off to iraq or maybe they have just found a better, more stable lifestyle, are any less of a spouse. That is just shitty. :td

:yes

The only shitty ones are the ones that jump shit as they are leaving the pier, run away , jump in their car and go UA!!!

I am not bitching that he is going, but what i am upset with is that he is on shore duty and being taken from that. I am very proud of my husband, I am in shock of how this is happening and the manner that is has been handled. 14 months is a hell of a long time. I did not even fathom the idea that this could happen. I mean my god there are battalions with ready deployable men / women. My husband has been an instructor in a class room since June. I can't and will never understand why they are taking him
i would be upset too and let me ask you this if he hadnt deployed and yall were up for a re enlistment and you knew there was a good posibility that he was gonna go to iraq would you have second thoughts about it?

My husband is a lifer, he does what he does because he loves his job. Yes he would have reenilisted. He loves denfending our country! No second thouhts!

I am not pissed off so please don't think I am
No I didn't want my dh over there but he went and came home.
Getting out for a more stable life is different than getting out cause you don't want to go to war.
I guess people should think HARDER before joining if that is the case.
I never dogged women on this issue.
But lets look at it like this IF everybody got out cause "OMG I may go to war" then what kind of military would we have?
I am just saying someone has to have the balls to do it!!! Right!?

I think we're talking about two different things here.

1. People who enlist but think they're never going overseas and then get really angry when they get tapped to go during their enlistment.

2. People who enlist, serve their country, and then are in a position to decide whether or not to re-enlist.

Mamaoftwins+1 seems to fall clearly in the second category. It sounds like the family is considering their options, weighing the pros and cons, and trying to make the best decision for their family. This doesn't seem to be about trying to dodge the responsibilities they signed up for at all! People say "You know when you sign up that you might have to go..." and that's one of the reasons why they are considering whether or not they want to sign up again. I don't see why this would be seen as a bad thing. I think it's responsible to consider all of these factors when making such a big decision. The family has already served their time once, and now they are deciding whether they want to do it again. What's the big deal?

ok but would yall have thought twice about it?
see this is my dh first re enlistment so he hasnt put 10-15 years in

i would be upset too and let me ask you this if he hadnt deployed and yall were up for a re enlistment and you knew there was a good posibility that he was gonna go to iraq would you have second thoughts about it?
You didn't ask me this but I will answer too
My dh was due to get out Oct 7th 2001
He reenlisted to go MA
So we knew 9 chances out of 10 that he would go to IRAQ and he has twice
so yeah some of them still reup!

That was a very good answer Heidi

The only shitty ones are the ones that jump shit as they are leaving the pier, run away , jump in their car and go UA!!!


Damn straight! Jason would NEVER abandon his obligation. If he got orders to Iraq and he was still enlisted, by God, he would go. I would support him, I would wait for him, I would do whatever I needed to do. But if he is coming up upon a reenlistment and we get word that if he reups he will be sent to Iraq as ground forces, I can't tell you that I would be okay with it and just say "ok, dear, just go ahead and sign up. we won't give it any second thoughts. that's what good, moral, military folk are supposed to do". I mean, afterall, I DO want the right to hang a yellow ribbon, so I guess that's what we'd have to do so I could hang one, right? ;) There are consequences to weigh and I do not think anyone is any less of a person if they decide to get out. Period.

There is a HUGE difference between serving your time and doing what you are under oath to do, and taking the time to reevaluate whether it's worth it to stay in a sign into ANOTHER obligation. So, one obligation and serving 6 years isn't enough anymore, I guess. You gotta be a lifer and go to war.

I think we're talking about two different things here.

1. People who enlist but think they're never going overseas and then get really angry when they get tapped to go during their enlistment.

2. People who enlist, serve their country, and then are in a position to decide whether or not to re-enlist.

Mamaoftwins+1 seems to fall clearly in the second category. It sounds like the family is considering their options, weighing the pros and cons, and trying to make the best decision for their family. This doesn't seem to be about trying to dodge the responsibilities they signed up for at all! People say "You know when you sign up that you might have to go..." and that's one of the reasons why they are considering whether or not they want to sign up again. I don't see why this would be seen as a bad thing. I think it's responsible to consider all of these factors when making such a big decision. The family has already served their time once, and now they are deciding whether they want to do it again. What's the big deal?
thank you very much this is what i am trying to say and yes we fall under #2

I think we're talking about two different things here.

1. People who enlist but think they're never going overseas and then get really angry when they get tapped to go during their enlistment.

2. People who enlist, serve their country, and then are in a position to decide whether or not to re-enlist.




Exactly exactly exactly. THANK YOU. TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS.

ok but would yall have thought twice about it?
see this is my dh first re enlistment so he hasnt put 10-15 years in
We were at 8 years so yeah we could have walked but we didn't

If you are both not comfortable with the possibility of him going to war and having to leave his wife and kids behind, that is OKAY!! You are allowed to love your family so much that you want to spend time with them! You are allowed to be afraid of the "what if's" that's human nature. We will probably reenlist when the time comes, but until that time comes I'll live in the now. I am glad we aren't faced with that desicion yet. It will be a hard one when we do.
Good Luck with your decision Amanda.

Nobody said you had to be a lifer Brandi but since we are at war then yeah you should expect to go to war

its not that we are uncomfortable with it i mean yeah i wouldnt like it but who does its just we are weighing our options it was just a question dh wanted me to ask we still have a while to make our decision its not like a pressing issue or anything but he is deploying soon so yeah we need to decide if this is what we wanna do. i thank you for your opions and i ma sorry if i ruffled anyones feathers. i honestly didnt think it would be such a hot button question

My whole point is that is OKAY for someone to want to get out when their enlistment is up because they don't want their husband to go to war. Why is that so bad? Does that make someone a bad person and any less of a military wife? I really don't think so. Should everyone that joins stay in for 20-30 years just because that's the right and moral thing to do? We can only hang a yellow ribbon if our husband is sent over there and if we're okay with it? I think not. Like I said, everyone has their own reasons for joining and I think it's pretty shitty to say the people who wish for their husbands to get out for whatever reason, whether it be because they do not want them shipped off to iraq or maybe they have just found a better, more stable lifestyle, are any less of a spouse. That is just shitty. :td


Brandi, but it shouldn't be the spouse who makes their husbands get out because they don't want them to go to Iraq. I'm sorry, but WE didn't sign on the dotted line. They did. If it's the service member who wants to get out, because they have to go to Iraq, then yes, I do look down at them, and that is my opinion, and I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I think it is unpatriotic. Of course, I know there are people who will disagree with me, but that's my stance on it. They knew what they were getting into when they joined, and I don't think it's the wife's place to tell their husband to get out.

Also, I agree withn Breezy and Becca

AND... just because the service member goes to war and doesn't want to get out, doesn't mean they love their family any less ;)

Nobody said you had to be a lifer Brandi but since we are at war then yeah you should expect to go to war


Yes, that's fine if you are still enlisted. But what's pissing me off is that everyone is making it seem like you're a lesser person if you come upon the time you're supposed to get out and you're made to feel like shit if you choose to not resign just because we're during a war time.

An enlistment is however you sign on for. At that time, you're expected to reevaluate and decide if you want to resign or not. Its an option- for everyone, war or not. I think it's stupid that just because we are at war, you're "running away" if you don't RESIGN. What about all of the people who have NEVER served? At least my husband has done his time- will be 12 years, to be exact. What is there to be ashamed of??? We've put up with our fair share of bullshit, we've lived the military lifestyle, he's deployed, he was at sea for 5 years (will be 8 by the time he hits his next enlistment date). But it's being made to sound like that isn't enough. It isn't enough unless you sign up for another enlistment and go to war. :confused

Brandi, but it shouldn't be the spouse who makes their husbands get out because they don't want them to go to Iraq. I'm sorry, but WE didn't sign on the dotted line. They did. If it's the service emember who wants to get out, because they have to go to Iraq, then yes, I do look down at them, and that is my opinion. I think it is unpatriotic. Of course, I know there are people who will disagree with me, but that's my stance on it. They knew what they were getting into when they joined, and I don't think it's the wife's place to tell their husband to get out.


No, it isn't, but as in any HEALTHY marriage there should be some comprimise on both sides. If a wife is forcing her husband to get out then there are underlying issues. If she is trying to force him out, then maybe they shouldn't be married to begin with. I would never force my husband to do anything.

Brandi, but it shouldn't be the spouse who makes their husbands get out because they don't want them to go to Iraq. I'm sorry, but WE didn't sign on the dotted line. They did. If it's the service emember who wants to get out, because they have to go to Iraq, then yes, I do look down at them, and that is my opinion. I think it is unpatriotic. Of course, I know there are people who will disagree with me, but that's my stance on it. They knew what they were getting into when they joined, and I don't think it's the wife's place to tell their husband to get out.
im not making him get out the way i see it is we are married and i have to live with the decisions he makes so i should have some sort of say as to what goes on in our lives if he decides to stay in hey im right there with him if he gets out im there too

Noone answered my ?? about what would happen if everybody got out cause they don't want to go to war.
So can some of you answer that one?
Never said my dh wanted to go but he knows that is his job and is willing to do it!

You're hilarious, Sarah :lmao

You're unpatriotic if you aren't a lifer? How funny. I'm okay with being unpatriotic in your book then :)

I guess we should all just stive to be like you then :D

Yes, that's fine if you are still enlisted. But what's pissing me off is that everyone is making it seem like you're a lesser person if you come upon the time you're supposed to get out and you're made to feel like shit if you choose to not resign just because we're during a war time.

An enlistment is however you sign on for. At that time, you're expected to reevaluate and decide if you want to resign or not. Its an option- for everyone, war or not. I think it's stupid that just because we are at war, you're "running away" if you don't RESIGN. What about all of the people who have NEVER served? At least my husband has done his time- will be 12 years, to be exact. What is there to be ashamed of??? We've put up with our fair share of bullshit, we've lived the military lifestyle, he's deployed, he was at sea for 5 years (will be 8 by the time he hits his next enlistment date). But it's being made to sound like that isn't enough. It isn't enough unless you sign up for another enlistment and go to war. :confused
I don't have a problem with people getting out UNLESS it is cause "I may go to war"
There are many reasons that people get out and many reasons well beyond war that people reup

Noone answered my ?? about what would happen if everybody got out cause they don't want to go to war.
So can some of you answer that one?
Never said my dh wanted to go but he knows that is his job and is willing to do it!


Welll guess what. I guess instead of my husband serving 20 or 30 years, some of the other americans who have NEVER served would be forced to put in a little time. :)

Ok, let me clarify myself a little better, so I don't look like the bitch here..

Yes, it's OK to get out if your enlistment is up, and you want to go to college, or if you have a great paying job in the civilian world, or you have other things you want to pursue.

No, I don't think it's ok to get out just because you don't feel like going to Iraq, and that being the sole reasoning.

Noone answered my ?? about what would happen if everybody got out cause they don't want to go to war.
So can some of you answer that one?
Never said my dh wanted to go but he knows that is his job and is willing to do it!


Then we would have a unstable military and I think the draft would be implemented.

No, it isn't, but as in any HEALTHY marriage there should be some comprimise on both sides. If a wife is forcing her husband to get out then there are underlying issues. If she is trying to force him out, then maybe they shouldn't be married to begin with. I would never force my husband to do anything.
Very well said Jenn
If he were made to get out the marriage probably wouldn't last either way JMO

You're hilarious, Sarah :lmao

You're unpatriotic if you aren't a lifer? How funny. I'm okay with being unpatriotic in your book then :)

I guess we should all just stive to be like you then :D


No Brandi, I didn't say that, and I wasn't trying to come across like that.

I wasn't trying to turn this in to be something ugly :neutral

No, it isn't, but as in any HEALTHY marriage there should be some comprimise on both sides. If a wife is forcing her husband to get out then there are underlying issues. If she is trying to force him out, then maybe they shouldn't be married to begin with. I would never force my husband to do anything.


I totally agree :)

Welll guess what. I guess instead of my husband serving 20 or 30 years, some of the other americans who have NEVER served would be forced to put in a little time. :)
I agree I think ever able American should have to serve but that is another topic;)

so sarah if one of reasons for getting out is not wanting to go to iraq then we are bad people?

so sarah if one of reasons for getting out is not wanting to go to iraq then we are bad people?
No she is saying if that is your SOLE reason
If you have others like a good job which with your dh being a NUKE it shouldn't be an issue
But yeah if you get out cause you don't want to go over there and have no job and live on welfare until you can find "something" then yeah that is bad

I didn't say your dh or anyone's dh was a "bad person" for that matter. I was just saying that IN MY OPINION, I feel that for someone to get out just because they MIGHT have to go to Iraq is irresponsible. WHY would someone join the military knwoing there was that chance they would have to go. KWIM?

DH has the computer comandeered, or I'd be more into this...BUT I want to make one thing clear. I'm not saying that I think ANYONE is a shitty spouse. Not at all. What I'm saying is simply that it bugs the CRAP out of me, the hypocrisy of joining the military and then deciding to get out because things get ugly and you may have to go to a warzone.

I also want to say that some people seem soooo two faced when they're supportive and gung-ho about the war and the situation overseas, and then all of a sudden it affects us personally, here at home, and it's like they just do a double-take...like "Oh shit...you mean I'm affected by this now?"

I'll check back again when he's done with his game :) I just wanted to make my thoughts more clear - I was on a bit of a rampage.

Apparently NO ONE read what I posted on Page 7....

Ok, let me clarify myself a little better, so I don't look like the bitch here..

Yes, it's OK to get out if your enlistment is up, and you want to go to college, or if you have a great paying job in the civilian world, or you have other things you want to pursue.

No, I don't think it's ok to get out just because you don't feel like going to Iraq, and that being the sole reasoning.

I don't think it's fair for anyone to "force" their spouse out. I have said it a million times and mean it with my whole heart- if Jason loves what he does and wants to stay in, I support that 100%. If he thinks that's what is best for our family and his well being, I would never give him an altimatum. I do think it should be a decision that is made with both the husband and wife though. Not JUST the husband. Yes, it is his career. BUT, just as we discuss all of our other plans for life such as when to have children, whether I will be a stay at home mom or not, where I want my career to go, where we want to retire, how each of us will do our schooling, what kind of car we will buy and when, how much to put into savings, where we want to PCS to, I think the decision should be made TOGETHER. I think it should be talked about, each person should bring their concerns to the table, pro's and con's should be weighed. I do realize the servicemember is the one is is active duty, but when you are married you decide on things together, especially when you have children.

When I think about my husband going to war, I don't think about myself for a single second. I think about my babies and how absolutely tragic it would be for them to lose their father to war. I would never force my husband to get out, but I will not stand here and lie by saying I would be fully supportive of him just up and resigning without us at least talking about it and possibly weighing other options. He has a degree, he has a ton of experience, and I think it would be absurd for him to resign just for the simple fact that we are during war.

i did :D Sarah
well put Becca

I didn't say your dh or anyone's dh was a "bad person" for that matter. I was just saying that IN MY OPINION, I feel that for someone to get out just because they MIGHT have to go to Iraq is irresponsible. WHY would someone join the military knwoing there was that chance they would have to go. KWIM?
:yes yes i agree with you and if he were to get out he said he would make he had a job that could provide for his family and being a nuke he shouldnt have a problem doing so he has said many times if he decides not to re enlist that he will start searching for a job

Brandi I agree and we discussed the reup
Just like with the training my dh has he could get out and go OVER THERE with Blackwater etc.... FOR TONS more money but we felt this was the better choice for us
Definately agree that it has to be discussed

I want to had my 2 cents...As a person who feels just like Sarah does, I hate the people who think some how they might be exempt from the realities of military life.

I know now that Trev is getting out I bite my tongue alot, especially with some of my friend who are B*tching and I have to say in my 5 yrs with my DH in the navy we've dealt with alot...and you just grow and learn and you live with it.

When trev told me he wanted to get out I cried for like 2 days. I don't know how to be anything other than a Navy wife....and it is heartbreaking for me. But I understand his point of view, and maybe when he finishes school he will say he wants to go back...


Sorry if I just threadjacked...just had to add my bit.

My dh is an IT in the Navy and yes he could go to Iraq. One of his Navy buddies just left and has the same job my dh does.

Breezy, that is really my only point here.

I'm sorry if I took such offense with some of you. This subject is somewhat close to home since Jason and I have discussed him getting out at 12 years. the war would honestly play very little in his decision to get out- it would be based more on how our financial situation is, the level of degree he has, what kind of job he could get, etc. Honestly I seriously doubt he will get out :hehe But it's an option and we will discuss. I just felt like the initial tone was that if you have the option to resign, you should since it's war time. Looking back, I guess it meant more like "if the war is the ONLY reason you're getting out". I shouldn't have taken such offense, but like I said it really was a personal thing for me since we've discussed the possibility of him getting out. I would really hate to think that any of my fellow sisters would think less of me or anyone else for getting out when the obligation has been served and filled.

No hard feelings towards anyone.


I am in a firey mood today :hehe

Brandi you're clearly not the only one ;)

I'm just glad we can have 'discussions' like this and still not hate each other in the morning :hehe

NP Brandi I am all good
I agree it should be discussed and certainly not the ONLY reason someone should get out.

Well that was fun ;)

:rofl Neeext!

Hey thanks Amanda...hope you found the answers you were looking for.

ok so i dont wanna fire this thing back up so please dont take offense to this
i had a freind whose husband she met during a school they married and thengs were going just gret for both of them he was home every night blah blah blah anyways once they got to washington and he started deployments and such they both couldnt deal to well with it they had a baby (unplanned) after about a year of sea duty and she was really frustrated and lonely alot so when the time came to re enlist they did not because it was to hard on them both. they thought they could handle it and they thought they would be ok but it turns out they could not so he got out and it was a joint decesion now i think that if theiraq issue was goin on when it was time to re enlist then that def. would have been a hell no for them. i think nothing less of them for getting out and i think some people are not meant to be in the military and ya just dont know until you are doing it.

yeah i got my answers thank you

Right, but the bottom line is, going to the war zone was NOT the only reason he got out. We can all speculate the if's and's or but's about everything, but it doesn't really pertain to the point that I personally was trying to make.

Definately not everyone is cut out for the military and atleast they made the choice to getout instead of clinging on to something that neither of them wanted
JMO
and a "deployment" isn't always to Iraq
Deployments are what the Navy does lol after all

I agree with Becca earlier...Its nice to have these talks and not hate each other...

I know we alreaday talked on Yahoo Brandi, and I know there are no hard feelings ;)

well im glad this is all worked out now lol reading this as a stranger to the group you would think we hated eachother

it's that way for all military...reguardless of what your job is, if they need them, they'll send em. My husband was in iraq for a year...and is now getting ready to deploy to afghanistan come april. :no (We're army) it's just how it goes...oh and my dh is def. not reenlisting...we're done with the army's bs. :wacko :cp :yeehaw

I would not think you all hated eachother. Everyone has different opinions about things.

All in all it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks. Whatever is right for your family is your business.

My god, I will have to go back and read through all of this stuff.

All I have to say is that the Navy needs to be more clear........call it what it is DOING AWAY WITH SHORE DUTY!!!!!!!!

Call me a bitch or whatever you want but when I found out that my Dh might go to Kuwait for 18 months I was shocked. 18 months I would not be willing to knowingly do! I don't care who that pisses off:yes

I agree with Aundi, why not just go ahead and say that it would be better if they just did away with shore duty period. That way, you would EXPECT for your husband to go instead of getting the shock of your life!

Brandi, but it shouldn't be the spouse who makes their husbands get out because they don't want them to go to Iraq. I'm sorry, but WE didn't sign on the dotted line. They did. If it's the service member who wants to get out, because they have to go to Iraq, then yes, I do look down at them, and that is my opinion, and I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I think it is unpatriotic. Of course, I know there are people who will disagree with me, but that's my stance on it. They knew what they were getting into when they joined, and I don't think it's the wife's place to tell their husband to get out.

So when you join the military you are joining for life?!?! I don't think that is a fair statement at all, when you join for the first 4 or 5 or 6 years whatever you enlistment is, that is your obligation to the country, state side, overseas, war or not. and many times people are SINGLE when they make that choice initially, they meet the right person, fall in love, get married, have a family, and LIFE happens....situations change and maybe when their re-enlistment comes up staying is not what is best for THEIR future, these people have already given some 4-6 years of their life to defend our country, don't you think at the time of re-enlistment they should have the right to consider what is right for THEM and THEIR family.

she did say that it is their choice but she is saying that they shouldn't get out solely cause we are at war and that they may have to go there

I would be willing to put up with a 12 month seperation but not be very happy. No wife would! but when it's 18 months, that is just fucked up! Had my dh had known that it might come to that (and if it does) I am sure he will wish he had not wanted to re-enlist. People DO have limits and honeslty 12 months would be mine! Anyone who can't understand that can kiss my white ass.......including George Bush!

here we go again:no

BTW Sarah I take VERY strong offense to you telling people what makes someones husband a good service member. Your not the judge and jury on that and I have seen you over the years try that crap before! It's really a shitty thing to do and I can't believe people sit here and take it from you!

Until the day the YOU!!! NOT your husband has signed on that dotted line just can it :D

here we go again:no


Its okay to disagree though. Sorry your topic got off track, and I'll probably end up moving this to debates.

So when you join the military you are joining for life?!?! I don't think that is a fair statement at all, when you join for the first 4 or 5 or 6 years whatever you enlistment is, that is your obligation to the country, state side, overseas, war or not. and many times people are SINGLE when they make that choice initially, they meet the right person, fall in love, get married, have a family, and LIFE happens....situations change and maybe when their re-enlistment comes up staying is not what is best for THEIR future, these people have already given some 4-6 years of their life to defend our country, don't you think at the time of re-enlistment they should have the right to consider what is right for THEM and THEIR family.

Ok, I am not going to beat a dead horse here. What I was saying was, if their sole purpose of getting out of the military was because of there being a chance he would be sent to Iraq, then yes, I do find that unpatriotic. Never once did I say when you join the military, you are joining for life. I think you better go back and re-read my other posts ;)

BTW Sarah I take VERY strong offense to you telling people what makes someones husband a good service member. Your not the judge and jury on that and I have seen you over the years try that crap before! It's really a shitty thing to do and I can't believe people sit here and take it from you!

Until the day the YOU!!! NOT your husband has signed on that dotted line just can it :D


Fine, you can have an opinion. I didn't point fingers at anyone in particular here., I was originally responding to Amanda's question. AGAIN, let me reiterate this, then I am so done with this thread........

I have a problem IF....
the sole purpose of getting out is because you don't want to go to Iraq.

IF you want to get out, because you have served your 4-6 10 whatever years, and you want to pursue college, civilian work then FINE. I don't have a problem with that. Please stop reading between the lines ladies.

Again, people don't have to take anything from me. They either like it or they don't. There is no grey area with me, just black and white. Everyone has their reasons for everything, but I also have the right to feel the way I do. Doesn't mean people have to agree with it

edited for spelling.

Oh, and I have signed on the dotted line Aundi, back in 1993 when I was on the delayed entry program for the Minnesota Army National Guard. I got out before I even went to bootcamp for personal reasons. So, don't come here and tell me I am being shitty, because like you, I have every right to state MY opinion.

Wow, even more power for you to tell it like it is :sick

I guess if my dh does decide to get out after 18 years of service (for whatever reason) we will slink our "unpatriotic" asses back to Georgia and live in shame forever, thanks for letting me see that light:tired

Well this is what it boils down to in my opinion....

If so and so's husband wants to get out, if so and so did such and such many years, if so and so is worried about such and such then more power to them. That isn't my life. My life is what my husband decides. Yes 2 parties should be involved in making a decision BUT...He was navy when we met and married and if this is what he wants to do then so be it. I am proud of him. And the only person whos military service matters to me is my husbands.

Now..to those that go UA, etc are EVERYONEs business because they put others at risk by not showing for their jobs. THAT to me is unpatriotic.

As fas as to WHY someone wants to reenlist or doesn't want to reenlist doesnt really concern me. While my dh would never get out due to a war, thats him. Not everyone wants to do the entire time. :dunno Thats just the way I see it.

NOW...that being said..I do think it is LAME when people get upset about the possibility of going over there... (Im talking those still in, not up for reenlistment, etc etc) Simply because they ARE a part of the military and ANYTHING can happen. But I can tell you, when something unexpected does happen it does hit hard at first. I cussed the navy/my husbands ship etc etc up and down and right and left when my husbands ship got extended indefiantly 20 days before returning home. I needed to vent. And vent I did and it felt good. I'm over it now. It happened. And happens. Oh well. We'll do 1 more sea duty after this and then it should be time for him to get out..we'll cross that bridge when we get there and he'll ask me for advice and we'll come to a decision that HE is happy with and that HE wants ;)

Wow, even more power for you to tell it like it is :sick

I guess if my dh does decide to get out after 18 years of service (for whatever reason) we will slink our "unpatriotic" asses back to Georgia and live in shame forever, thanks for letting me see that light:tired


Sorry sweetie, but I'm not the one looking bitchy here :rolleyes

Please Aundi, show me where I said if you have done your time with the military and NOT reenlisting, then you are unpatriotic. I would love to see where I said. Instead I said.....IF you are wanting to get out just because you don't want to be sent to Iraq, then to a certain degree it is unpatriotic, and not upholding the oath they took when they enlisted. Look back and read the 10+ pages. I NEVER EVER said if you decide to get out for reasons being college, a better civilian job, retiring or whatever, then I don't have a problem with it. WE ARE ALL GETTING OUT SOONER OR LATER.

I think you need to loose the bitchiness with me, because I never once called anyone names on this board. If you say people shouldn't take my shit, then fine! I'm not dishing it out to anyone, but I'll be damned if I am going to sit here and allow you to call me "shitty" because I have a strong opinion about something. We can all have an opnion, and have a healthy debate without degrading one another on here. I don't think I degraded one person on this thread.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/misc8.jpg

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/misc8.jpg
:lmao thats what i was thinking:lmao :lmao

i wonder whats the most times a thread has been replied to? maybe this one will break a record. that should be worth some points on my end:mrgreen

Go for it Amanda ;)

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/sucks2.jpg


:lmao

uh...burrito

taquito :hehe

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/gay.jpg

:gay

there is nomore shore duty. I will need an "I am a 14 mo deployment survior" blinkie!!!!

sarah you are 2 funny i wonder how many times this thread will be "opened up" again

Im right with you AUNDI..... there is nomore shore duty. I will need an "I am a 14 mo deployment survior" blinkie!!!!
im sure britt will make you one;)

See Amanda, despite our healthy debate, we can still get along :D

I know Heidi and I were laughing about that last night. Or was it the night before? :puzz

See Amanda, despite our healthy debate, we can still get along :D
yep no hard feelings:D

we are after all grown adults

Exactly ;)

mmmmm taquitos and burritos!! How the heck did you ladies know I was craving Mexican?!?!?!~?!