Emily's birthday was yesterday, we had people over and most of them brought her gifts as well as gifts for the baby. They said that it would offset jealousy. (not that we are really there with an 8 month old baby but I get the point) I remembered friends doing this and I have done it a time or two but only did something very small and did it away from the attention of the birthday child.

So I was thinking about this. On one hand I understand the concept and it sounds like a good idea. BUT on the other hand I think kids need to learn when its "their" day and when its not. I think giving kids gifts just because when its someone elses party teaches a kind of spoiledness. These gifts were just as big as the ones for the birthday girl yesterday and wanted to be opened at the same time. I guess it just kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

So what are your opinions on this?







(when I did it it was usually a small thing and I gave it to the child away from the party and the child was typically around the age of 4-5)

I think people are getting too sensitive about kids these days. When my sisters and I were younger whoever was having a birthday got their gifts and had their fun that day and the other two just participated. They didn't get gifts and we all turned out just fine. We shared our toys when we played later that day and we all understood at a very early age when it was someone's birthday it was THEIR special day and that meant that we were treating them and no one else.

It might sound really bad, but I REALLY hope that people don't bring children other than the birthday child gifts to parties. I agree when you say it makes them spoiled almost in that sense.

I think that kids need to know that you don't get presents when it's not your birthday. If you always give a child presents when it isn't their birthday they are going to grow up expecting gifts like that all the time. I think it doesn't offset jealousy I think it spoils them.

I agree...Just because one child is getting something the other should learn to cope with not getting the same thing or something as well. I would understand if it was christmas or something like that but not a birthday. I also don't agree with the whole thing where one child NEEDS some clothes or something special for school and the other child having a fit and then the parents buy them something too. I think they should understand not always do they get what they want when they want it.

I will have to say for lil ones in my family I probably have. I haven't for other children though.
I know growing up my brother and I usually celebrated ours at the same time cause they were just a couple weeks apart.

I believe that my oldest child needs to learn to share the limelight. When Jacob was born Darian did get a gift and so did Jacob. However this May at Jacob's party Darian will not be getting a gift. Just like Jacob did not get a gift at Darian's birthday last year.

Their birthday's are all about THEM and it is not a bad thing for the other kids to learn to share the lime light at all. Other then that if one kid gets a treat I tend to buy the other one a treat as well. Just not on birthday's. The one thing I do is I don't open presents at the party and I give out really good gift bag's to the guest's. When kids are 5 and under I have only seen opening the gifts go really really wrong. There are always kids that just don't understand why they can't help open or why they can't play with the birthday kids new toy's. In order to not have that hassle I don't open the gifts at the party. We open them later on and send out really nice thank you cards. I know kids need to learn but really at two or three years old it is too hard for them to understand.

I can kinda see maybe how it would work if the child was really young and didnt understand. I think my mom did that with my sisters and I when we were little because we didnt understand what was going on. All we knew was one of us was getting presents and the rest werent. We only got something small but when we got a bit older and could understand that stopped. It only happened once or twice and I'm not spoiled and I know how to share. :).... well I'm a lil spoiled but it wasnt cuz of that. ;)

Oh no way!
:nutts Geeze. Its so and so's birthday not freakin FAMILY birthday... :rolleyes
Makes me feel sorry for the kids who birthday it is. Its suppose to be THEIR day. They were born on that day not their sibling. :no

The kids get a party favor, that is good enough for the sibling as well. Wow.... some parents these days.

Oh no way!
:nutts Geeze. Its so and so's birthday not freakin FAMILY birthday... :rolleyes
Makes me feel sorry for the kids who birthday it is. Its suppose to be THEIR day. They were born on that day not their sibling. :no

The kids get a party favor, that is good enough for the sibling as well. Wow.... some parents these days.

Agreed, the only day my kids both get gifts is Christmas, and if/when my mom sends them a package (not much I can do about those, :lmao). On their respective birthdays only the birthday kid gets gifts, the other gets a party favor and cake.

Oh no way!
:nutts Geeze. Its so and so's birthday not freakin FAMILY birthday... :rolleyes
Makes me feel sorry for the kids who birthday it is. Its suppose to be THEIR day. They were born on that day not their sibling. :no

The kids get a party favor, that is good enough for the sibling as well. Wow.... some parents these days.

Yea I think that's what I got when I was little.. not an actual present it was something really small like a party favor. :giggle Sorry I didnt explain better but like I said I'm not spoiled and it's not a big deal to me if the kids are really young and dont understand what a birthday is yet. :shrug But that's me ;)

Well I guess I'm a bad parent because I always Buy 0ne Gift for the other sibling for there Birthday! My kids are so close in age that they Could be twins! But works for my family may not work for others!

Not in my family....the girls DO NOT get a gift when it's the other child's birthday. Sorry, but that day belongs to the birthday girl...not the birthday girl and her sister.

I guess I got lucky with that one. My guys are 11 days apart so the each get their big goft on their b-day and pick what we have for dinner. I make a dessert of their choice, and they have one big party where the get a gift for them both from us. So when they have the party they each get their own gift. I am not sure how I would do it if the b-days were far apart. I don't know any different and I am an only chaild so I have nothing to copair to.

I got diddly squat when it was my brother or sister's birthday :rofl

We only buy for the birthday child wether it is our children or someone elses.

Well I guess I'm a bad parent because I always Buy 0ne Gift for the other sibling for there Birthday! My kids are so close in age that they Could be twins! But works for my family may not work for others!

No one said you were a bad parent.

I guess I got lucky with that one. My guys are 11 days apart so the each get their big goft on their b-day and pick what we have for dinner. I make a dessert of their choice, and they have one big party where the get a gift for them both from us. So when they have the party they each get their own gift. I am not sure how I would do it if the b-days were far apart. I don't know any different and I am an only chaild so I have nothing to copair to.

My sister was born ON my birthday, we had a joint party and seperate presents. I think its cool that yours are so close together.

I do not feel that it is right to do this. I think that a birthday should be all about "them" the birthday boy/girl. It is their one day of the year that it is "all about them".
If someone brought gifts for our other children I would tell them thank you and be very greatful. I would also explain that we will hold the gift for the child until later or the next day and give it to them then. I would not give it to them at the party and not while they were opening their gifts.
I think that children need to learn that not everything is always about them and when they have their birthday that will be their day.
I agree that it could teach them selfishness and the attitude that they deserve something. And in this day there are far to many kids and grown ups alike that have that attitude.
As for jealousy. They are going to have to deal with it at sometime why not let them learn how to deal with it at a young age so they will know how to act in the future.
I think that it does a diservice to children when they are treated this way.
Shildren really do need to be taught that life does not revolve around them. When they are taught this as young children it is a lot easier on them and those around them.

The only kid who gets a gift is the birthday kid - it's their day.

I have a friend who has to bring a gift for her own daughter to unwrap whenever they go to anyone's party. She comes UNHINGED at not being the center of attention. Unreal IMO.

I don't open the gifts at the party. We open them later on and send out really nice thank you cards.

Good idea. I will have to keep this in mind for when ds has parties.

We open gifts after the party too - it's an English custom.
Prevents MANY meltdowns, and kids grabbing the birthday kid's presents, and undue stress.