I know he hasn't really left yet. He's only a couple states away, but it's been so surreal and it's just really setting in how long this is going to be. I have no doubts we'll make it but this just kinda sucks. He calls and he's been kinda down about it, so I cheer him up, but as soon as I hang up I start crying. I got his first letter today and I about died. I haven't really gotten any good sleep since he left either. I sleep on the couch (I still haven't gone in the bedroom yet) with the light on and the tv on. I have to have the noise to fall asleep because I'm used to him talking me to sleep or playing on the computer (I work nights and sleep days). Then when I wake up I swear I can feel him in the room, so I leave the light on all night so I can see that I'm alone. Maybe it's just not smart for me to stay at his place, but there's no where else to go.

And then we just found out that his two weeks at home before they head to the sandbox got cut down to one week. He called almost crying about that a couple days ago. I'm sorry, I guess this post is a downer but I just need some hugs or some cheering up I guess. My birthday's next week and all I keep thinking is that he won't be here to celebrate with. I know time will make this easier, but right now time is not moving fast enough. My friends are leaving, my baby is gone, and life just sucks.

:hugs I am sorry you are going through this. There are LOTS of people going through what you are going through and I am one of them. I don't have any brilliant jewels of wisdom although I wish I did. What is helping me is to know that the only reason that this is so hard is because we love eachother so much. He LOVES me and I LOVE him and that is all that matters. If I remember that every time I start to get upset, it helps. I know that he wants to be here as much as I want him here and this is just something that we both will have to work through.

I hope you find something to help you too and try to stay busy. Get up, get out, enjoy yourself a little bit. Remember that there is still a world out there and your guy would certainly want you to enjoy some it.

im so sorry hun:hugs :hugs :hugs :hugs

:hugs It's hard to sleep.

:hugs It's hard to sleep.

I know. most of the time I don't go to bed till 2 am or later in the morning then I get up at 10am.