Hey everyone. Today is my first day on the boards. My SO is in Afghanistan and should be home around June. Unfortunately I'm in Oregon and he's in New York. Can anyone that's been through something similar give me any advice on how to deal with him being home and still not getting to see him for a few weeks? How to help him from WAY over here? Anything?

I'll be going through something similar when DB gets back around this time next year. He's from NY, stationed in KS, and I'll be at school in Indiana at that point:/

My current dilemma is how to pull it off when he's home on leave! I'll have to miss a few classes and fly to NY to see him...I'll do whatever I can to go see him, but it's just a lot more difficult than if we were married and he were coming home to where i was you know?

So yeah, I don't have much advice, cuz I'm still going through it myself, but you aren't the only one!!:)
Just make sure to keep communicating with him as if you were there with him and that type of thing.

Once he has permission to leave the base he's going to see his family for a few days and then come here for a few weeks. I'm on pins and needles over here. It's killin me. We have so much to figure out and none of it can happen with all this distance. Good luck to you.

Distance is nothing but a number. Believe me, it can heal or tear open wounds, it can bring you closer or kill you in one fell swoop. It's all about you two, and letting it happen. :D I have great faith in long distance relationships, since that's how mine started, and was until the DAY I got married. (It was an hour drive, but neither of us drove, so we started out seeing each other every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer, and then he went into the AF, and I saw him 21 days in 15 months)

No offense intended at all, but I'm guessing you've seen this man face-to-face? How long have you been together? Do you know his likes and dislikes? Obviously you like him a lot, if not love him, or you wouldn't be here, but be pretty damn sure where you stand (or would like to) before he comes home, or it's going to be hard, but also be willing to move at his pace (more or less, lol) and understand that his deployment may have changed him.

Ok, do you know where he will be when he gets back? Does he have an address there already? If so, get him a care package to be waiting for him when he arrives. It doesn't have to be uber expensive, either. I sent my DH (darling husband) notebooks for class and because he likes to write, with a love letter from me in my handwriting on the first page (and some love notes on random pages, mixed in). I also sent graph paper, some candy and cookies I knew he liked, and a few of his things from home, from before he left for basic training. Tack in a picture of you two, and he'll melt, lol. It doesn't have to be huge, like I said, but something to say, "I remember what you like, and I was thinking about you." Depending on the guy, flowers can be sent too (mine loves them, although he won't tell anybody). In the meantime, if you can afford it, maybe write him a story, sending him a page a day, until he gets to you. Or if you don't write, make him a picture and send a piece of it every day. Or make a paper chain counting the days and send him the links.

Best yet, if you can, make a video (or dvd) of yourself saying hi honey, welcome home. (for the first day) "Happy first day waking up on home soil!" (second day) "Baby I can't wait to see you" (third day). That way, if you mail one out each day (starting a few days before he gets home, so the first one is waiting for him) he'll get them in the mail, and he can get a daily dose of you without feeling smothered. Plus, he sees you, which means any time he wants to he can kiss you (if you kiss the screen) and talk to you and get semi-reacuainted. Also, webcam is a GODSEND, if you both have computers. So is the phone. Understand his need to talk or not talk, to share or not share his experiences, to trust or have a hard time trusting you. Remember he was in a war zone and that doesn't go away just because he's home.

GOOD LUCK!! best wishes to you both; I hope this helps at all. If not, ask and I'll see if I can't fix up something better, lol

well db and i started dating in high school. he joined the usmc after my freshman year of college. we have been long distance since then. i am in mi and he is stationed in nc (now in iraq). communication is the #1 key to any relationship ESP a long distance relationship. i too have a large amount of faith in long distance reltionships because i have been in one for so long. it is doable and you can make it work. just keep your chin up and one thing that always helped me was knowing the next time i'd be seeing him. i am the queen of countdowns in my planner and seeing him every few weeks is EASY compared to this deployment. you can talk to him everyday that will be great, and when he comes to visit you for a few weeks make sure you talk all about everything that is concerning you. goooood luck! you can make it work! :hugs