to be 19 and get your tubes tied?

Yes I think its possible, but trying to find a dr to do it might be the hard part.. I dunno.

I've heard of it :yes

My dr. refused to tie my tubes until I turn 30. Reason being that women who have had their tubes tied in the early 20s are at a much higher risk for hysterectomy by the time they're in their late 20s or early 30s. How positive are you that you don't want kids? Tubal reversal isn't always guaranteed to work...

Yes. Ofcourse it is. However finding a willing doctor will be the tough part.

Are you thinking about doing it??

My dr. refused to tie my tubes until I turn 30. Reason being that women who have had their tubes tied in the early 20s are at a much higher risk for hysterectomy by the time they're in their late 20s or early 30s. How positive are you that you don't want kids? Tubal reversal isn't always guaranteed to work...
really? I didnt know that.. I feel stupid but howcome?

really? I didnt know that.. I feel stupid but howcome?

I didn't push him on the reasoning behind it, once he cautioned me against it, I was persuaded against having it done. I was 23 when DD was born. I'm considering having mine tied once I'm in my 30s, if DH hasn't had the "promised" vasectomy before that.

yea im pretty sure i mean before tonight i knew i didnt want to have another kid for a while a long while but im not a good mother my daughters fine healthy and loved but im too self absorbed dh has been telling me for a while now but i didnt see it until tonight so i think the best thing to do would be that

Maybe if you have a medical condition. I can't think of many Dr's who would do that without a valid medical reason. I am sure it can be done.

really? I didnt know that.. I feel stupid but howcome?

Without getting technical- when you get things done that are unnecessary- it can always cause complications later down the track. It's like opening a computer, messing around with the cords and plugs- when nothing is broken. It can weaken the computer's hardware and cause it to 'expire' early.

Lol. I love using computers as examples...

It's possible, but good luck finding a doc that will do it. I've been refused soooo many times, finally at 27 (and after 4 pregnancies) my doctor agreed to do it.

Without getting technical- when you get things done that are unnecessary- it can always cause complications later down the track. It's like opening a computer, messing around with the cords and plugs- when nothing is broken. It can weaken the computer's hardware and cause it to 'expire' early.

Lol. I love using computers as examples...

Good way to put it Simmy!

yea im pretty sure i mean before tonight i knew i didnt want to have another kid for a while a long while but im not a good mother my daughters fine healthy and loved but im too self absorbed dh has been telling me for a while now but i didnt see it until tonight so i think the best thing to do would be that

Well- that sounds like you are feeling abit sorry for yourself. And I don't at all mean to sound harsh or rude- but you should definately not base MAJOR life changing decisions on a weak moment. Please don't do anything until you are 110% certain it's the right thing for YOU, not anybody else- but YOU.

And if you think you are too self absorbed- you can work on that. And please, if you dh was just being a dick to you and made you feel this way- ignore him. You have a healthy and happy beautiful child. That's proof enough that your a good mother.

maybe i never heard of anyone getting it done that young usually each state has requirments and you must have soo many kids and so forth.

Well- that sounds like you are feeling abit sorry for yourself. And I don't at all mean to sound harsh or rude- but you should definately not base MAJOR life changing decisions on a weak moment. Please don't do anything until you are 110% certain it's the right thing for YOU, not anybody else- but YOU.

And if you think you are too self absorbed- you can work on that. And please, if you dh was just being a dick to you and made you feel this way- ignore him. You have a healthy and happy beautiful child. That's proof enough that your a good mother.

I agree 100% with you Simmy. And trust me when I say that your mindset will change in 5, 10 years. I am not even the same person I was at 19 at all. I have grown so much and changed a lot, and I honestly think that most people do. Definitely do a lot of thinking about it first. Good luck!!!

im not going to do it tomorrow but if it is something that i want to do then i want to know a little about it starting with if its even possible. youre right though but i still dont want any more kids atleast not for a while i want to do what i shouldve done before i had dd.....get a degree and a good job

I agree 100% with you Simmy. And trust me when I say that your mindset will change in 5, 10 years. I am not even the same person I was at 19 at all. I have grown so much and changed a lot, and I honestly think that most people do. Definitely do a lot of thinking about it first. Good luck!!!

:yes

You say you feel self-absorbed now....you are only 19, most 19 year olds are still self absorbed. I'm 21 and still am self-absorbed at times, but it's something that most people naturally grow out of as they make the transition from adolescence to early adulthood. I have grown so much just in the past 2 years since I was 19 that I hardly even recognize the person I was back then. So I agree, please, just think about it for a very long time and weigh all your options. :goodvibes

:yes

You say you feel self-absorbed now....you are only 19, most 19 year olds are still self absorbed. I'm 21 and still am self-absorbed at times, but it's something that most people naturally grow out of as they make the transition from adolescence to early adulthood. I have grown so much just in the past 2 years since I was 19 that I hardly even recognize the person I was back then. So I agree, please, just think about it for a very long time and weigh all your options. :goodvibes
Yeah I agree, I was someone so different when I was 19. Its amazing how just a few short years can change you.

I'm confused..is this something you want to get done asap?

i feel the same way i tell him that im trying to change but any change i make overnight will be fake but he tells me im supposed to be grown and know this and that and i feel like im the only 19 year old retard that cant do it that cant grow up and be what he wants

im not going to do it tomorrow but if it is something that i want to do then i want to know a little about it starting with if its even possible. youre right though but i still dont want any more kids atleast not for a while i want to do what i shouldve done before i had dd.....get a degree and a good job

Ok I have had this conversation with a friend before. She is 24, a mother of 2 5 yr old twin girls and a 13 month old son. She was getting upset that she didn't get to do what she wanted. And this is what I told her.

You havn't wasted any of your life! Yes, you are a young mother, you have no degree or a good job- but the key thing is- you are still young! You have done it backwards! Most people will get their degree and job and then have a family- well the way you have done it- is not at all a bad way. By the time your kid goes off to kindergarten- you will be like 25-26. That is still young! And instead of stopping in the midst of your career to start a family, your family has started and has grown up abit- allowing you TO concentrate on your career with no interruptions.

-Now that may not fully work with you- as you are not pregnant or having another child and worrying- but you are young, you are a mum, and you will get what you want if you work at it. You are 20- if you really don't want children, start you career now and in 12 years- you will still be young!

You got your life ahead of you girl- stop worrying and don't let anyone make you feel that you can't do it. Because you can, and deep down- you know it.

how old is your SO? 19 you are not suppose to be fully grown, that takes years. I might be married and acting like an adult, but insdie Im not really one yet

he's 21

Try not to let him get you down, I mean hes only 21. Life will change.

if it's something you guys are really set on doing. he has a better chance at getting a vastectomy done than you do getting your tubes tied.

very true..........thank you girls for reading and responding

and a vasectomy has a lower failure than a tubal:wink

I will say No. Dont have your hopes up that someone will. Your mind could change is their biggest reasoning. And it might. You can say your done til your blue in the face and you might be but if in 5, 10 years you decide your not it will be a huge mistake. You should look into an IUD in the meantime. Most tricare docs/military docs will not do it on someone your age.

yeah I would check into an iud

Maybe try norplant? It's BC that lasts for 5 years.

I believe norplant is not off the market

I believe norplant is not off the market

Oh really? I have no idea, I just learned about it in Bio and was like, hey that sounds pretty cool :giggle

yeah from what Ive been told it is.. Something about it moving around to much under the skin.. But I could be wrong. I think her best bet is an IUD.

My friends have got those little rod things under their skin on their arms. It seems to work for them. One of my friends got hers taken out and she brought it to school- lol it looked like a lollipop stick.

Honestly, it's very hard to find a doctor that will perform a tubal or vasectomy on anyone under 25 unless it is due to health reasons. my husband had his done years ago when he didn't want any more children and now we are going through the very expensive and painful process of hopefully reversing it and being able to conceive on our own. Please-wait a few years and make sure you are certain.

to be 19 and get your tubes tied?

I asked for them to be tied when I was 19. It was when I had my son. They wouldn't let, said I had to be 23 (I think) or have 3 kids. I said, "I don't want 3 kids!" lol I have 3 kids.

Even with three kids under 4 and only being 24 years old, my doctors still cautioned me against it. I had asked if it would be a possibility during my last c-section and they said they would advise me to get an IUD (Which lasts 5 or 10 years) instead of tubal. They said too many factors come into play with having one done such as fluke accidents (death of a child, death of a husband), divorce and remarrying (then wanting a child with the new husband), ectopic pregnancies are more common with tubals, and they said there is a HUGE HUGE HUGE reversal rate of tubals and a lot of them don't even take. So, they really pushed for the IUD over the tubal. The IUD is instant, MORE effective than a tubal (it really is!), and can be removed any time :)

Maybe try norplant? It's BC that lasts for 5 years.

The IUD lasts either 5 or 10 years (depending on which kind you get) also. It takes 2 minutes to insert, 2 minutes to take out, is hormone free (if you get the 10 year one) or just has local hormones that don't go through your blood stream (if you get the 5 year one), no pills or patches and I've heard it makes a lot of people's periods go away also :yes :cp

Even with three kids under 4 and only being 24 years old, my doctors still cautioned me against it. I had asked if it would be a possibility during my last c-section and they said they would advise me to get an IUD (Which lasts 5 or 10 years) instead of tubal. They said too many factors come into play with having one done such as fluke accidents (death of a child, death of a husband), divorce and remarrying (then wanting a child with the new husband), ectopic pregnancies are more common with tubals, and they said there is a HUGE HUGE HUGE reversal rate of tubals and a lot of them don't even take. So, they really pushed for the IUD over the tubal. The IUD is instant, MORE effective than a tubal (it really is!), and can be removed any time :)

:yes i had a hard time getting mine done. i was just short of 27 with 3 kids. mine are being redone with this baby. the whole tube is being removed this time. and then once i heal, i will be going back for a partial hysterctomy. but the only reason my dr is will to do that is i will be 30 this year, 4 kids, and the next preg will more than likely kill me.

One of my friend's is 23 and she is getting hers done during her C section...yeah the hard part is finding a dr to do it and I am not sure if insurances will cover it if you are under a certian age..not sure though.

I'm 28 and this is #3 for me and my dr is still giving me a hard time about having my tubes tied because she says that the regret rate is higher in younger women. Since I'm having a scheduled C-Section on Thursday she has agreed to go ahead and do it while I'm in the OR but only after us spending about the last 6-8 weeks talking about it and she says that she will be asking again the morning of my section.

Even with three kids under 4 and only being 24 years old, my doctors still cautioned me against it. I had asked if it would be a possibility during my last c-section and they said they would advise me to get an IUD (Which lasts 5 or 10 years) instead of tubal. They said too many factors come into play with having one done such as fluke accidents (death of a child, death of a husband), divorce and remarrying (then wanting a child with the new husband), ectopic pregnancies are more common with tubals, and they said there is a HUGE HUGE HUGE reversal rate of tubals and a lot of them don't even take. So, they really pushed for the IUD over the tubal. The IUD is instant, MORE effective than a tubal (it really is!), and can be removed any time :)

That's pretty much exactly what my dr has been telling me. I told her that I have 3 of my own plus a step son and I know that I dont want anymore children but then she chimed in with "well what if god forbid something happened to one of your children or your husband and later down the road you changed your mind, would you really want to go through the process of having it reversed when you could have an IUD that last 5-10 years". I will admit it kinda made me stop and think and to be honest I'm still thinking about it. At this point I'm down to 2 days and still don't know what to do.

That's pretty much exactly what my dr has been telling me. I told her that I have 3 of my own plus a step son and I know that I dont want anymore children but then she chimed in with "well what if god forbid something happened to one of your children or your husband and later down the road you changed your mind, would you really want to go through the process of having it reversed when you could have an IUD that last 5-10 years". I will admit it kinda made me stop and think and to be honest I'm still thinking about it. At this point I'm down to 2 days and still don't know what to do.

mine said the same thing. Gabe was going through treatment for his cancer at the time. there was still no doubt in my mind. if god forbid i had lost Gabe, another baby wouldnt change that fact or replace him. i never hesitated with my answers and that is the only reason she did mine. she even kept asking me while she was doing it, "OK only the left one is done. Are you sure that you want to do this?" Yea, i dont regret being preg again. I wouldnt give this one up for world. but our plans have completely changed financially now.

I think it's something that you might want to do when you are older. You're still young and alot can change. I had mine done when I had my dd and I was 24, she was my second child so they did the tubal. By the time I was 29 I was divorced and was remarried at 31. At that point I wanted another child with my new hubby but couldn't cause of the choices I made when I was younger.

I'm 31 and have 2 kids. My daughter was born this past feb and I know I am done with kids. My Dr was more then willing to tie my tubes since I was a c-section but he cautioned me and talked me out of it. He instead informed me of the IUD. And it is 99.89% effective where a tubal is 99.69% effective. Not a huge difference but still a little bit. And IF for some reason I decided to have more I could. Maybe you could go that route??

I believe norplant is not off the market


I believe it is! I wont even go into how it ruined my cousines life.. omg it was awful.

I really think if you tied your tubes that young you would regret it later.

My older sister had her second son when she was 21 and had her tubes tied during the c-section. She is now 33 and has regreted it every day for a good 8 years now.

I asked for them to be tied when I was 19. It was when I had my son. They wouldn't let, said I had to be 23 (I think) or have 3 kids. I said, "I don't want 3 kids!" lol I have 3 kids.

I had mine tied when I was 23, during a c-section with baby #2. Doc only agreed to do it after meeting with Mark and we had a little "counseling session". That was 18 years ago with a Navy doc.

Good luck with that if you have tri care!! It took them a year to do something about my "female" issues that I have that caused me to need surgery.

I think you should just use a form of BC and wait on it. I agree use the IUD or the shot or something, that is if you forget to take pills.

my issue with birth control is that i used to be on the shot and i bled straight for 6 months and dh was traumatized lol so was i so im skeptical about bc ive talked to my doc about other options like the iud but she tells me that with anything theres a possibility of that type of bleeding and i do not wan to go through that again

Maybe try norplant? It's BC that lasts for 5 years.

i havent read the whole thread yet, but this is illegal in the US these days :wink

mine said the same thing. Gabe was going through treatment for his cancer at the time. there was still no doubt in my mind. if god forbid i had lost Gabe, another baby wouldnt change that fact or replace him. i never hesitated with my answers and that is the only reason she did mine. she even kept asking me while she was doing it, "OK only the left one is done. Are you sure that you want to do this?" Yea, i dont regret being preg again. I wouldnt give this one up for world. but our plans have completely changed financially now.

Ya I agree with you 100% another child could never replace the children we already have. I do know that 3 plus a step son is more than enough for me it's just that "what if" later on we change our minds and want another one. I seriously doubt that would EVER happen but I couldn't help but think about it. Hell, I dont think we could ever afford to have another one even if we wanted to lol

The reason you bled alot with the shot was the hormones in it (did the SAME thing to me) With the IUD you can either get the copper IUD or the mirena IUD and the copper does not have hormones on it. Meaning it can be in there longer and it will not prevent you from having a period.
I would HIGHLY suggest an IUD before ever suggesting you should get you're tubes tied at such a young age.

Yeah, but any doctor will make you go to psych counseling before doing it. However, military will not pay for it before the age of 35 unless you have 2 or more children already or a serious medical condition. I had my dd at age 25 I knew I didn't want any more, but tricare wouldn't pay for it and told me this.

I would just l;ook into some type of long term BC for now. I think in a couple of years your whole outlook of life will change.

Like other ladies have said, as young as you are, it will be tough to find a doctor who would be willing to perform that procedure. Maybe and IUD or the shot would be better.

The reason you bled alot with the shot was the hormones in it (did the SAME thing to me) With the IUD you can either get the copper IUD or the mirena IUD and the copper does not have hormones on it. Meaning it can be in there longer and it will not prevent you from having a period.
I would HIGHLY suggest an IUD before ever suggesting you should get you're tubes tied at such a young age.

you have to have had at least 1 child before mirena