leftover
05-17-2007, 08:12 PM
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:
I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge headfirst
into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that
has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work
exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The Response:
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised,
the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work
periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
other locations. You do not take initiative - you need to be
pressured
and stimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace
rather messy at the end of your shift. You do not always observe
necessary
safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You
will retire well before you are 65. You are unable to work double
shifts. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you
have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting
the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
reasons:
I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge headfirst
into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that
has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work
exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The Response:
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised,
the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work
periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
other locations. You do not take initiative - you need to be
pressured
and stimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace
rather messy at the end of your shift. You do not always observe
necessary
safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You
will retire well before you are 65. You are unable to work double
shifts. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you
have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting
the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina