Hey all i know some one who has a 3 year old and didnt just turn 3 he's almost 4 but anyways he's not potty trained, she will not force him or suggest it to him, he thinks pull ups are big boys pants, which i think has alot to do with him not wanting to wear undies, i told her about putting cherrios in the toliet trick, and pee peeing in a bottle to get him to learn how to stand and do it, she refuses to try any of this and i dont want to push the subject only casue i would want someone to tell me how to raise my child, but hes gonna be 4 soon and he really wants to go to school, he cant unless he is potty trained, not to mention hes not even up to dat with all his shots what do i say to her, or maybe i can help him want to, with out pushing it overboard? any advice?

That is pretty bad if she won't even try. I would stay out of it though. It's sad to say, but it is her child she is harming. Especially with the shots and stuff. There is a lot I don't agree with about how my mom parents my little brother, but I have to stay out of it.

There isn't really anything that you can (and in my opinion should) do. This is her son and if she wants to give hime more time before forcing potty training on him then that is her right. Just like him not being up to fate with his shots. Some people just don't believe in vaccinating their kids and again that is their right to do so.

Maybe shes trying to let him do it on his own?

From http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toilettraining/11652.html
While some kids can start as young as 18 months, others may not be prepared to learn until well into their fourth year. As you may already have discovered, boys tend to stay in diapers longer than girls, and second (or subsequent) children often learn faster than firstborns. There's no point in trying to get a head start; studies show that when parents begin potty training too soon, the process simply takes longer to complete. I

see the whole thing is i think he probally didnt like the pull ups and so they called them big boy pants now i know if i was a little boy i would not wanna go from "big boy pants to undies", the only reason im asking others advice is cause im with him everyday, she knows she needs to do all this stuff shes just lazy, ill be 22 and lets just say shes alittle older, by a few years and i am taking her to get her drivers license only becasue im leaving soon and wont be there to bus her around everywere she needs to go, i cant leave her hanging there, so i know she just need a push with everything! just dont know how to do it! anyone else have little boys that refused to go potty and what did you do?

also just wanted to add he was doing it and then didnt really get alot of congrats and they didnt make a big deal out of it so i think he just desided, he didnt wanna do it no more

My mom started potty training my little brother when he was 2. Then she went through her divorce and stopped doing it. (She was really bad off at the time) She put him into karate when he was 3. To make a long story short, he found out he was the only kid in his class still in diapers and decided to go in the potty that night.

also just wanted to add he was doing it and then didnt really get alot of congrats and they didnt make a big deal out of it so i think he just desided, he didnt wanna do it no more

i think this maybe a reason that he doesnt want to use the potty, im not judging this mother but,if you reallly think about it its kind of common sense to reward a toddler for doing something good, whether it be using the potty, or learning a new word, something of that nature, if the child didnt get any form of praise for using the potty, he's probably thinking "its not a big deal if i use the potty or not, so i wont" if your around him everyday, maybe you could start praiseing him for the good he does, maybe the mother will catch on to it.... good luck!!

It's something you shouldn't get involved with, and he will do it once he gets made fun of the first time. That's the biggest motivator for any kid to change anything. Boys are WAY harder to train than girls. They don't give a crap about undies vs pullups in most cases, and infact will stand there and play and wet or doo in their shorts rather than stop playing with their blocks to potty. Some kids just need more time, and I'm sure he will eventually get it. He may also have physical problems that you don't know about. I know a boy who is 17 who wears depends because he literally has ZERO bladder control. You may not know all the intimate details so maybe there's some sort of issue like that as well.

i think this maybe a reason that he doesnt want to use the potty, im not judging this mother but,if you reallly think about it its kind of common sense to reward a toddler for doing something good, whether it be using the potty, or learning a new word, something of that nature, if the child didnt get any form of praise for using the potty, he's probably thinking "its not a big deal if i use the potty or not, so i wont" if your around him everyday, maybe you could start praiseing him for the good he does, maybe the mother will catch on to it.... good luck!!

Thats exactly what i was saying, oh everytime i see him, i tell him everytime he does something good, ill give him a high five and say wow thats really great! or something like that, the funny thing is i give him so much attention, that he listens to me, ill tell him he needs a bath and he'll get one with no problem, i tell him to try to go to the potty before we put the pull ups back on and he does, its all about the attention, but i cant be there all the time to give him it, i would love to buy him a toy if he goes on the potty but its not my job 1 and 2 i really dont have money to be gettin him stuff with my own on the way! He's just such a good kid, so smart, he also cant talk very well, no one can understand him, but just a really good kid,i just dont wanna see him get made fun of. i dont wanna see him hurt. and many ill try the cheerios at my house when no one else is there, he is the type of kid that would just love that type of thing. And i have one more complaint the parents a alwasy complaining about how they dont have money, i wanna just scream everytime i hear it like well if you didnt have to buy pull ups everyother day that money would add up, casue we all now how much they cost! there not cheap! thanks for letting me vent!

Thats exactly what i was saying, oh everytime i see him, i tell him everytime he does something good, ill give him a high five and say wow thats really great! or something like that, the funny thing is i give him so much attention, that he listens to me, ill tell him he needs a bath and he'll get one with no problem, i tell him to try to go to the potty before we put the pull ups back on and he does, its all about the attention, but i cant be there all the time to give him it, i would love to buy him a toy if he goes on the potty but its not my job 1 and 2 i really dont have money to be gettin him stuff with my own on the way! He's just such a good kid, so smart, he also cant talk very well, no one can understand him, but just a really good kid,i just dont wanna see him get made fun of. i dont wanna see him hurt. and many ill try the cheerios at my house when no one else is there, he is the type of kid that would just love that type of thing. And i have one more complaint the parents a alwasy complaining about how they dont have money, i wanna just scream everytime i hear it like well if you didnt have to buy pull ups everyother day that money would add up, casue we all now how much they cost! there not cheap! thanks for letting me vent!



im not one to tell a parent how to raise their child but if i was in your situation, i would jsut bring up the fact that, when you praise him at your house for the good things he's done he continues to do them. Maybe u could tell his mom that everytime he is at your place, and you get him to go sit on the potty, that he actually goes, but you have to make the firm point that the reason he keeps going at your house is because you praise him.( i understand that he does not "go" on the potty but maybe if you star telling his mom that he goes for you and your constantly praising him for that, she might just start rewarding him as well.. Its a little white lie, but maybe its what will motivate the mom! OH and as for having to spend money for rewards, there are a million things you can do with a child not having to buy them gifts all the time. For instance try the "star on the chart" thingy, explain that when he goes potty, he can place his own stickers on the chart, 1 for peepee and 2 for poopoo. It just might work!

My daughter is just now being potty trained, she's 4. We tried it several times in the past, but she would regress due to all the constant moving, new baby, etc. and the whole experience was just awful.
*shrug* I wouldn't get involved, it's not your business. If they don't do praising, then they don't do praising. Like Brandi always says, you don't see very many teens and adults wearing pull-ups, the kid *will* learn. If it takes some ridicule, then that's what it takes.
We ended up letting our daughter just pee and poo herself for a day, she figured out really quick that it wasn't very pleasant, and started using the potty on her very own. We don't praise for every little thing, we do of course praise for potty training purposes, but we also give her a stern talk for accidents that could have been avoided (such as she refused to stop playing and wet herself, etc).
Every parents has a different way to go about it, it doesn't make it less valid than other parenting methods.

Maybe you could ask how the potty training is going, or if they need help when he visits your home...but aside from that, I would not judge or get too much into their business.