my boyfriend is a marine, he's not deployed, but theres a good chance he will be in the near future. right now he is at his base which is a few states away from me, which naturally, feels like lightyears away. i'm a newbie here, so i'm just wondering if the seperation gets any easier after a few times of having to say goodbye to him? or does it get harder and harder each time? what are some of the things you do [send letters, creative things?] to make it less painful on both parts? any insight will help. the nights are the worst times.. i miss him. :tears

My husband isn't deployed, but he is away from me and has been since January. Time helps you to feel a little less raw, and you can send care packages, letters, emails, phonecalls, etc.

:hugehug

It gets easier so long as you don't sit and pout and get into bouts of depression just because he's gone.

You've got to keep living your life or you'll just be miserable forever.

I agree with the girls. You have to find activities that you enjoy and just keep living life as if he was there. It helps me to take my camera and take pictures or videos (this is what I did today, Hey this was really funny I wish you could have seen it) that sort of thing. I also sew and work as much as I can. When he deploys, I'll be alone here in OK with just the few new friends I've made (not many) so it will be quite hard on me. But I'll make it.... we did 3.5 years in a long distance relationship, and that has helped in transitioning to the military. Just do what comes naturally, and you'll be fine :hugs

I will say it never gets easier, but it does get easier to cope. If that makes ANY sense at all. You learn what makes it easier for you. You find things to pass the time and to keep you busy! You two will get into a groove, a routine that works for both of you and helps keep both of you fullfilled in your relationship even though you can't be together physically.

Do what makes you happy, and don't just sit at home (that will only make it worse).

It will get easier, not to be away from him, but to live your life away from him!!! :hugs

I say come for starbucks with me sometime & we can commisserate together!

I say come for starbucks with me sometime & we can commisserate together!

haha! lets do it:)

Everyone is different in how they cope but for me writing a little to DB every night has helped, it almost takes the place of talking on the phone with him, almost. :hugs

When you are in contact try to do little games and stuff. Or cute things. I always loved making care packages or telling him about my day. While my ex was deployed, I bought some bulbs and every couple days I took a photo of how the plant was growing until it bloomed. I'm sure he didn't really care about a plant in general..but it was fun for me to share with him a little piece of my life in my room.

I agree with the others. You have to get up and keep moving. It is ok to miss him, and cry every once in a while. But, doing things and staying productive will help you, and him, while he is gone.

Keeping yourself busy with things you love to do, take up a new hobby, spend more time focusing on improving YOURSELF instead of dwelling on him being gone is also good. I did so many good things to improve myself while my DH was deployed. It made me feel GOOD instead of being bummed all the time.

I'm not sure if it gets "easier" (I've only been through 2 separations only lasting about 6 months each), but if you have the right coping tools and make sure you're not dwelling on the pain and hurt too much, it does get "easier" in a sense. I always used to say that I went into "deployment mode" the second he left and really it didn't phase me at all because I was so focused on other things.

My DB has been deployed in Iraq for a few months and at first I was absolutely devastated, at first the calls were frequent...now theyre once every 2 weeks for about 5 minutes. It is really hard I wont lie but just knowing he will be home makes me happy. I write, motomail, and send packages all the time just to keep communication going. Communication honestly is the most important thing.

Feel free to PM me if you want :)

I will say it never gets easier, but it does get easier to cope. If that makes ANY sense at all. You learn what makes it easier for you. You find things to pass the time and to keep you busy!

This is SO true!! :yes
It's really hard at first, but as long as you keep yourself busy and stay positive you'll be ok. Don't dwell on the fact that you won't be able to see him for _____ just try to get through one day at a time.

:hugs

you guys are the best :)

I don't think it gets easer you just learn how to deal with it better. I've been a Marine's SO forever now we are on our second deployment together starting in 1 month and the idea of him leaving me still hurts just as bad as it did the first time. Just remember its ok to cry, its ok to break down, its ok to not be strong or brave. You just have to make it...no one ever said how you have to make it. If you ever need a friend I'm here for you chicka!

What has worked for me is that I am mentally prepared for my dh to leave at any time. I expect it and am ready to deal with it. Having that mind set has helped me keep sane.

:hugs

The distance is never hard, the one thing that makes it easier for me is counting down until we can actually be together, living together. I have got 11 months (woohoo). Try maybe working out, that keeps me busy. Make Marine blankets!! I will put a picture up of mine and just do anything that you did before you met, that might make you feel better. I hope it works out, our road is not the easiest to travel, but I bet its the best.

The distance is never hard, the one thing that makes it easier for me is counting down until we can actually be together, living together. I have got 11 months (woohoo). Try maybe working out, that keeps me busy. Make Marine blankets!! I will put a picture up of mine and just do anything that you did before you met, that might make you feel better. I hope it works out, our road is not the easiest to travel, but I bet its the best.

I make dolls and T-shirts and run forums keep yourself busy!

JMO but I think it gets easier.