Well we just got the news about a month ago that my dh will be deploying sometime this year. This is my first deployment and am having some what of a difficult time dealing with it. I mean I knew when my husband told me last year that he was going to join the military he was going to be going off to war...that's only a given when you join while a war is going on. I guess no matter what you are never ready for that news. Today his PLT SGT & LT wanted to meet with all 3 of us (Ray, myself & our daughter). It was about how well we are communicating with eachother about this deployment & tehy wanted to make sure that financialy we are okay. What may resposabilitys where going to be while he was gone...it was all I could do not to bust out in tears in thier office. I feel like a tit bag but I can't help the way I feel. I guess I am just really emotional about this. All together he was gone to Basic, AIT & Baumholder before we where a family again for 8 months. So back home I had it all by my self. The first few days after he left I cried but then i sucked it up & went on with life. Know I can't say that I am doing that well because he's still here & I'm a mess. I don't let him know that though. I try to keep from myself but today I could not help it...as soon as we got into our car I started to cry...I tried to hide it from him but he saw. What can I do to make it better? What do you girls do to help deal with this? I hope I'm not the only one that feels this way!! I have a friend that she's going back home in July...her huband is leaving sometime towards the end of this year!! I can't do that...i have to stay here because I think that's one of the ways we show support to our Soldiers!! Am I wrong? I just want some advise on how to deal with this deployment..how to make my time to go by faster & keep my mind off of it!!

Here is my advice to you.

1. You have to keep busy while they are gone.
2. You have to keep living your normal life.
3. Plan and always send otu care packages, make some ones that are themed.
4. Do some "sexy" pictures of yourself to send to him, I am not saying porn but ones that you are looking like you want to give him something to think about.
5. Make goals for yourself and your daughter. Plan to re-arrange a room or re-decorate a room in your house by the time he comes home.
6. Learn a new trade like Sewing or photography. I have always wanted to learn pottery. Take a class at the local Rec center, they have all kinds like dancing and art and anything.
7. Travel, if you can. Go somewhere where you have never been and have always wanted to go.
8. Volunteer for many things, your local shelters, your local Animal Shelters, any childrens hospital. Great lessons for the kids as well.
9. Get a Solider for a pen pal, as long as DH is ok with it.

There are tons of things to do and learn while they are away you just have to be adventurous about it.

The next few months are going to be painful...I hated the pre-deployment era. There are going to be arguements and he will withdrawl some. Keep being understanding and supportive. I hated the waiting period where you know they are leaving but have not left yet. It is like ripping off a bandaid, you know you are going to go through some pain but you are not sure how much.

Keep strong above anything else and believe!!!!

I've been married to a marine for 7 years... we have 2 children together and 2 from his previous marriage....it never gets easier it just changes. We've had our ups and many downs and we've managed to stay together. Just when I get use to moving and resettling every couple years, giving up a steady career, and becoming a stay at home mom, which is totally not me,the (dreaded) opportunity (of a lifetime for him) came up. National Capital Region Task Force for voluntary deployment to Iraq for atleast 7 months, for Convoy security. I have been fortunate to have him nearby or atleast stateside for the past 7 years but I don't think I'm ready for THIS. He asked if he could go and of course being a supportive wife I said okay.....but now I'm kicking myself. He has 3 months of predeployment training as a PLT SGT then 7+ to Iraq. I hate having him away even a day. The support at our D.C. duty station was very little so the kids and I have decided to move to our hometown with family and his other kids. There's a bitter sweet feeling, I'm glad to be home but not without him. I beleive things happen for a reason and I fear my coming home is just setting us up for the inevitable news. I know not so positive huh. But I'm scared....we've had so many problems the past year and it was just getting better....I'm afraid of losing US, afraid of losing HIM of course and our LIFE together................ I know how you feel.....

I have not been through a deployment, but I have been away from my Db for a year now).......being as understanding as possible. thier are going to be days he's acting like a jerk, but it's how he's showing his emotions. Just be supporting and loving as much as possible.

keep busy, I love journals......they help during the nights when I can't sleep.
keep w/this site! and we will always be here for you.