So, I have been wanting to tell DB that I love him for a while now. I guess I am just too scared that he isn't ready to hear it, so I haven't told him.

So I was just wondering..

1) If you were the first to say it, were you scared?


2) How did you get over the fear?

3) If he said it first, were you ready to hear it?


Wow, I am such a scaredy cat some times! (and now I feel like I am 5 cuz I acutally said "scaredy cat"!)

We'd loved each other as friends since we were 16. It was a pretty smooth transition from love to in love.

First question is, how long have ya'll been together?

Could you feel him out with a: "I think I might be falling for you?"

I agree with Britt. I have never said it first. But I was scared to say it back to DH, I didn't think he seriously meant it and I did. So I didn't end up saying it until hours later.

We have been together for almost 3 months. Which is part of what is so scary to me... I never thought I would feel this way so quickly you know.

Plus he was hurt so badly in his last relationship that I think it needs to come from him first. I am just so scared that it will fly out of my mouth one day with out me thinking.

1) If you were the first to say it, were you scared?
LOL no I just wanted him to know and it didn't matter what he said back

when he said it I knew that it was forever!

1) If you were the first to say it, were you scared?
LOL no I just wanted him to know and it didn't matter what he said back

when he said it I knew that it was forever!

I am hoping that I will get to that point eventually... I'm just not there yet.

Ours is an odd situation. We started talking online (OMG I Can't believe that, I was SOO against online relationships for sooo soooo long its sooo embarassing)

We exchanged hundreds of emails (looooong ones too boy can he talk!) Instant messages, hours on the phone. Finally right around our birthdays (they are a little over a week apart) He found out he was deploying. I finally sent him an email saying we need to decide where we are going. If this is casual or serious or whatever. I told him that I really cared for him and that I loved him. He replied with:

In your head know that my feelings for you are the same as you feel for me, I want to say those three little words back to you. But I am scared. file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/CHRIST%7E1/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-1.jpgfile:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/CHRIST%7E1/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-2.jpgfile:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/CHRIST%7E1/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-3.jpg But, well, I want to make sure that this time, you ARE the right girl to say those three words to. And, down the road, I have four other words, and then two other words after that that we say to each other.

That made me fall deeper in love with him!

he finally said it (over email a few emails later) We would say it in writing but that was it. Until one night in April, I was at home and he called at about 11 p.m. I answered the phone and he said "I love you" just blurted it out. He said he had wanted to say it but didnt think I was ready. So he just took the plunge.

I was taken aback by it. It took me a few loooong moments to respond to him.

I say just go for it, Dont hide your feelings! He maybe scared, but he needs you to show him that you are true and sincere.

GOOD LUCK!

I say just go for it, Dont hide your feelings! He maybe scared, but he needs you to show him that you are true and sincere.

GOOD LUCK![/COLOR]
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Aww that is such a cute story!

I am so torn, since he was burned so badly in the past a part of me feels like I need to tell him so he knows that I am true and sincere like you said. But the other part of me feels like he needs to say it first when he is ready.

I am sure I will probably blurt it out at some point with out meaning to.. it has almost happened a few times, when I am just overwhelmed by love for him.

I am hoping that I will get to that point eventually... I'm just not there yet.

You will be its a risk but its totally worth it!

We both did that "I think I'm falling for you" thing to feel it out and then one night we were at his apartment and there was a big party going on and he did something for me and I said (we were both a little tipsy) something like, I love you, you're the best! We both kinda looked at each other like, oops, did that just come out of my mouth? And when we talked about it after we sobered up we both said it. He had been waiting for me to say it first and I had been waiting on him.

He had been waiting for me to say it first and I had been waiting on him.

That would be my luck too!

1) If you were the first to say it, were you scared? I was the first to say it, and you bet your butt I was scared! He was getting over another girl at the time, so I was trying not to overstep my boundaries, yet I KNEW he was the one, from the second I saw him, I knew...so....(see below)


2) How did you get over the fear?....to get over the fear, I just told myself...you know what? I know he's the one. my heart was telling me what to do, and I never really "got over" the fear...I just had to SAY it...blurt it out...and finally...only once I said it (and he responded!) did I find relief. Luckily it was alright because he said "you know, I was actually thinking about that just today.....and I love you too"

3) If he said it first, were you ready to hear it? n/a :P My first BF said it first after like 1 week....and I did not know WHAT to do. So I said it back, blindly, big mistake!

It kinda just popped out. He had just broken up with this girl when we got together and ironically enough, we had the same initials. I said something about him being able to keep "I <3 JS" because it meant my name instead of his and then I said something about me loving alcoholics anonymous because of his initials. And he said "you love me?!" and I said maybe or I guess so or something. And he said "I love you too"

I didn't say it first, but I wanted to! A couple of days before he was leaving for Iraq I knew something was weird, because a friend of ours told him to make sure he kept me...and took good care of me. His reply was "I plan on keeping her forever." I thought, "Oh, he's just drunk." Later that night he said, "You might think I'm crazy, but I love you." I almost melted! I said it back right away. I thought for sure that he was drunk and maybe wouldn't even remember that he'd said it, but the next day he said it again!

You could always go at it by saying you love him, and you might be falling IN love with him. See what he says from there...feel it out and go with your heart.

Ok, DB actually said it first but he was quite drunk and I knew he didn't really mean it so I never brought it up at the time lol...then I first really started to say it with the whole "i've fallen for you" thing. He did not say it back right away and I knew he wouldn't as he went through a very messy divorce. It didn't bother me because I KNEW he felt the same way I did but understandably he was hesitant to say it at first. He now has said it and first did by saying "I love you for all that you have been for me" (L)

I agree with Britt. I have never said it first. But I was scared to say it back to DH, I didn't think he seriously meant it and I did. So I didn't end up saying it until hours later.

I was the same, i didnt say it back for a few hours, but if thats how you feel that you need to be honest with him and yourself and say it outloud, he might not be there yet, but at least he knows where you are. If you want to say it, then say it :)

DB and I hinted to each other so much while he was in CA and I was in NJ. We both knew we wanted to say it, but I made us wait until we were face to face. The day he got home, we went to the park and since I made him wait, he had me start talking and say it first (which didnt bother me at all, he said it right back!!) =)

Do you know how he feels? Do you think he will say it back?

I don't know how he feels at all... I mean, I know he cares for me a lot, and sees a future for us.. but I just don't know if it is love.

Maybe I just need to get comfortable with how I am feeling before I tell him you know?

he said it first, and i was NOT ready to hear it...i told him he was going too fast. it was ok though cause we had known each other for years so it didn't scare away either one of us...although we had only been dating a few weeks! a month or so later I said it. i was still scared to say it, but i already knew he'd return the sentiment.

you should be able to get a feel for him soon.
good luck!

you could start with something like..."I love the way you...." treat me....or care for me....

I was first but I didn't really have time to think or worry about it because it just kind of slipped out when we were saying goodbye one day. After the fact, though, I worried because he didn't say it back - in fact his response was "drive safely" (to this day he claims he just didn't hear me - not buying it, lol).

I was the first to say it to him...I wasn't really scared i Just kinda blurted it out because that was what I strongly felt at that moment. I was scared after it came out though because he didn't say it back...it took him about a week or 2 to finally say it back.

He said it first. I was completely not ready in some ways and totally ready in others. I was madly in love with him, and I did say it back, but at the moment I wasn't sure what in love even meant for me, so I was nervous replying because I couldn't not (for me and for us), but I didn't want to say it and not mean it.

As soon as I said it I knew I meant it, and that was all that counted.

Plus, it was nice because I usually tell my friends I love them, and I'd been being super-careful not to slip and accidentally say "love you" to him and screw something up.

We were probably at about 2-3 months, and neither of us regrets saying it.

Good luck, follow your feelings and hopefully he'll do the same!

Im so glad this thread was created.It has helped me think about this more.

Im so glad this thread was created.It has helped me think about this more.

Anything I can do to help :D

Are you having the same problem as me?

I would just say! Blurt it out...LOL I think he feels the same way from all the things you have told me!

I would just say! Blurt it out...LOL I think he feels the same way from all the things you have told me!

I have been so close to just blurting it out. Especially when we were at the fair dancing. (L) Somedays I am sure he feels the same, and some days I can't tell at all. Boys are so hard to read sometimes... He makes me just want to smack him upside the head and say "I love you ya idiot!":giggle:lol:scared:lol

I have been so close to just blurting it out. Especially when we were at the fair dancing. (L) Somedays I am sure he feels the same, and some days I can't tell at all. Boys are so hard to read sometimes... He makes me just want to smack him upside the head and say "I love you ya idiot!":giggle:lol:scared:lol

LOL Then maybe thats something you'll have to do!:lmao JK. But if you really feel that why, I would tell him!

lol one day I just might have to do it that way! haha... Angela, I posted a question for you in the new member mail section... go look

DH (then DB) said it first.. but I wasn't scared when I finally did say it. We were only together 3 weeks before we got engaged, and 7 months before we got married.. so everything happened very fast!

i just posted my story in your other thread...but i was super super nervous to say it to him, and he ended up being the first person to say it. he said it while we were having sex...and then it felt normal to say it. a relief i guess you could call it! :lol

if i were you id say it when you were together and either just say it when you think the time is right, like when you are in bed saying goodnight or when one of you is leaving...take a deep breath and say it...once you do i think you will be happy you did!!! :goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes

I read both of your posts Chelsea :D ... and I am sure that I will feel much better once I finally say it. But I am not sure I will get the chance today since we are hanging out with his friend once they get off. The other day I REALLY wanted to say it, but that same friend was there too. Blah I think his friend needs to stop being there when I am ready to say it, he is messing up my groove or something!

know what? You can MAKE the chance-take him aside in the bathroom or kitchen & tell him-you will feel SO much better & I am sure he will too!:D:tu

know what? You can MAKE the chance-take him aside in the bathroom or kitchen & tell him-you will feel SO much better & I am sure he will too!:D:tu

I would, but we are going to be in the car and then on a boat with said friend... damn:puzz. Maybe later tonight when we can be alone!:yes

mmm id try to get some alone time with him and say it...or you could even whisper it in his ear if you feel the urge to say it while you are with other people :) that's kinda hot (L)

I have never told anyone first. I was a scaredy cat too! With my husband, he told me first... THE FIRST NIGHT WE EVER TALKED. Freaked me OUT, but apparently not too much cuz I married him two months later.

haha.. I could whisper it... I kinda like that actually. :)

He told me first. I was a bit scared to due to bad experiences in a previous relationship. He actually told me in a really sweet letter (L) so when I talked to him next I had no problem saying it back because I knew it was what we truly felt.

Anything I can do to help :D

Are you having the same problem as me?

Yeah I am having the same problem but he is deployed now.So I dont know when to say it to him or how.I stick to signing my letters with "<3 always" instead of "I love you" and if its a myspace message we both just stick to saying "I miss you alot with lots of hugs and kisses" same with the phone.I think we both are feeling its at the akward stage of "Is what im feeling love? i say yes but should i say it?" LOL

I think whispering it in his ear would be cute! :yes Goodluck sweetie! Let us know how it goes :goodvibes

I said it first right before I asked him to marry me lol. It was right before I deployed to Kuwait. We eloped the next day. Blurting your feelings is good.

I was not the first, he said it to me at least a month before i said it back. He didn't say it all the time though.
I told him the day he left for italy, at the airport.

My boyfriend said it first... and I didn't say it back till about 2-3 months later!! I had never said "I love you" to anyone before... so I personally wanted to make sure I meant it and that I put the full weigth of those 3 words behind it. After I explained to Kyle why I waited so long, he was really happy I did. He said he wouldn't have wanted me to say it unless I really meant it. :) And I didn't feel scared or bad that it took me so long to say it. I wanted it to be special and real... and not just something he wanted to hear back.