I am just down right unhappy today. :tears Do you feel that they are going to be "ok" when they come home? I am so worried he will be totally shut down. :depressed

I understand how you feel. That is why I joined this board. I just know the minute I see Chuck that everything will be okay again but it doesn't seem like anything is even remotely fine until that happens.

I am just down right unhappy today. :tears Do you feel that they are going to be "ok" when they come home? I am so worried he will be totally shut down. :depressed

That's a thought that is always present in my mind.... But you've gone through 4 times more deployments then I have! And you've been married alot longer too!!!! You'ld know more about it then me :lol!!!!

I read this today:

"I am a mass of confusion.. Anger and frustration simmer dangerously close to the surface and with them there is something else -- something unpleasant that I've been keeping in check because I'm not ready to deal with it yet. ... I have questions, but I have no answers. And I am not certain I want the answers. Not now. All I know is going home is supposed to be a good thing. But after being gone for nearly two years, home isn't home anymore. I am home. And in my home people try to kill me."


I kinda holding on to the idea that I've put so much effort into our communications as a couple, and i'm hoping it will pay off... KWIM?

I've been writing to him everyday, trying to give him an escape from the daily crap... Trying to give him some kind of normalcy if only for a couple of minutes when he reads my mail..

I think our guys are going to be better off then the ones that aren't married, at least we'll be able to see the warning signs since they share a living space with us.

I'm worried he's going to shut down too.... He already does to a point, he switches off "soldier mode" when he's around me, but I'm more afraid of getting rejected by him...

I'm here for ya anytime you need me... I'm sorry I can't be more help. :hugehug

I know this thread wasn't intended for me, but I just wanted to say that I hope that your husbands don't shut down on you. Because it's so very hard when they do. The only thing I can "suggest" is to not expect it to return to normal immediately. Not even in the first few months. Let it rebuild slowly and take your time and enjoy yourselves as much as you can. I'm on month 3 now and I'm just now starting to see a little bit of progress, but he's still not the same.

Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you out. I know how hard this time is for you guys :hugs

I understand how you feel. That is why I joined this board. I just know the minute I see Chuck that everything will be okay again but it doesn't seem like anything is even remotely fine until that happens.

Its nice to meet you. :)

That's a thought that is always present in my mind.... But you've gone through 4 times more deployments then I have! And you've been married alot longer too!!!! You'ld know more about it then me :lol!!!!

I read this today:


I kinda holding on to the idea that I've put so much effort into our communications as a couple, and i'm hoping it will pay off... KWIM?

I've been writing to him everyday, trying to give him an escape from the daily crap... Trying to give him some kind of normalcy if only for a couple of minutes when he reads my mail..

I think our guys are going to be better off then the ones that aren't married, at least we'll be able to see the warning signs since they share a living space with us.

I'm worried he's going to shut down too.... He already does to a point, he switches off "soldier mode" when he's around me, but I'm more afraid of getting rejected by him...

I'm here for ya anytime you need me... I'm sorry I can't be more help. :hugehug

Thats a pretty damn good quote there lefty, thank you! I always like to read from the soldiers point of view. I talked to him for five seconds this am (dont ask I am pissed) and he seemed in a good mood. That was hopeful. To think he could be in a good mood...over there. Encouraging. Dont be afraid of him rejecting you. YOu are beautiful!!! You've kept him going (I am sure) all this time, I am sure he can't wait to just be there with you, watching you and hearing your voice. (L)

I know this thread wasn't intended for me, but I just wanted to say that I hope that your husbands don't shut down on you. Because it's so very hard when they do. The only thing I can "suggest" is to not expect it to return to normal immediately. Not even in the first few months. Let it rebuild slowly and take your time and enjoy yourselves as much as you can. I'm on month 3 now and I'm just now starting to see a little bit of progress, but he's still not the same.

Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you out. I know how hard this time is for you guys :hugs

Thanks for answering anyway. :) With the first tour when he came home he was fine..mostly. Things were almost normal immediately. But I know not to expect that this time. I appreciate your first hand insight. :)

Honestly? I don't know what to expect or think. I feel lost too honey, its ok!