Me and my boyfriend got back together on his R&R in March. We were only together for a week before he left to go back to texas. My mom never met him when we first were together. When he came home in March, she still didn't meet him (he lives about 30 mins away). His family had plans for him the entire time that he was home. I only got to see him for about 5 days out of the 9 that he was home. It was my first time meeting his family and all. He's talked about me moving to Texas with him and getting married.

Before he left he asked of me to get close to his 3 sisters. I've been doing as he asked. Gone to BBQ's at his parents house and meeting the extended family. Really akward without him being there and all.

The longest I've gone is 19 days without a word from him. Once it goes past 2 weeks.. I start to go crazy. My mom doesn't understand why I'm putting myself through this. And will make little side comments about everything. I feel like she's putting me down everytime she says something. Her ex husband was in the Navy so she knows how it is. She keeps saying I should keep my options open and all, maybe see other people and all. She's very hard headed when it comes to talking to her about certain things. I've tried numerous times to explain it to her. The more she talks about it- the angrier i get.

There's been times were he has called his family numerous times during the long periods that I go without hearing from him. At first I get a little upset that he didn't call me or email me. But then after I think about it more- it's his family and I'm not upset anymore.

None of my friends are in any situation like mine. With having their boyfriend deployed. It's very difficult for them to try to relate to me when I'm upset and especially for them to try to give me advice.

I would greatly appreciate any advice/suggestions for how to explain things to my mom and to get through this. I have about 3-6 more months left of the deployment (pending the extended tour)

:welcome

Wow. I know how hard it can be when your mom makes little snide remarks about your BF. Mine used to do that all the time! Thankfully, she loves my DF (our families have known one another since before he and I were born), so she is very supportive of our relationship.

I don't know what to tell you, except that you will have to be strong. It will be hard sometimes, and you will want to cry. But you have to remember what's in your heart. And at times like those, the women on this board are GREAT supporters!!!

Does he have a cell phone? If so, he should be able to send you a text fairly often to at least say hi. If I go more than a day or so without hearing from my DF, I go haywire! And he knows that. LOL!

I'm hear to listen if you need to chat. I have been in your shoes...and I know that mothers sure can make you miserable when they do stuff like that!!! Good luck, and let me know if you need anything!

It is really hard to get people to understand how you can be true to someone who is not around. I know it is hard because it is your mom but I am sure she will see you are not going to listen to her. A lot of nonmilitary people can be very harsh. Just stick to it.
My husband is in Iraq and except for blackouts I hear from him almost daily. I don't know where your BF is so commo might be different there. I would be upset too if I didn't hear from him for two weeks.

This is my boyfriends first deployment. Its hard, not being able to hear from him on a daily basis. Im lucky if I get two emails a week or in two weeks. Its hard not really having a support system. My famiy doesnt understand why I put myself throug this. They dont understand that I do this because I love my boyfriend and that he means the world to me. I get some nasty comments from some friends too. Like how do you have a realtionship with someone that isnt there, and that you dont get to communicate with. It gets to the point where I dont even say anything anymore. Im glad that I have a few close friends that know how much I love him and would move the earth for him. It just hard to talk to them when they arent in my situation. Im looking to meet some friends on here that know where I am coming from. Looking forward to chating.

girlie I am in your same shoes. ONLY my first military relationship sucked, my ex cheated on me after my parents firmly disagreed with me dating him from the beginning. I always and still do get those side comments about how I wasn't cut out for military life. I am currently talking to a marine who is deployed in Iraq. We are not dating because we are trying to get a base of a friendship first (kinda hard when he is in Iraq and im here). But never the less we are trying and doing pretty well. He is an amazing guy and I wouldnt trade him for the world. I know it sucks to have a parent or parents in my case against something your so passionate about, but sometimes we have to take a step for ourselves and what we want out of life. Trust me when I say I sure as hell know what your going through (disaproving parents and first deployment) so if you need anything let me know. I am here for you no matter what and I mean that, just PM me! Thats what us military sisters are for! Let me know! :)

Girl i've met eddies mom, dad, sis, brother in law, two aunts, four cousins -- all without eddie.. so I know how akward it feels too!!

hang in there!

I know how awkward that can get. All the family..and you. But just act friendly and dont let it show that you're awkward. Most people open up and are really friendly once someone acts that way towards them. The whole mom thing I dont really know what to tell you because I've never been in that situation but I really hope things get better.

And I understand that whole jealousy thing with him calling his family and not you. It feels wrong to feel jealous but it's ok. Fortunatley for me, Chris calls me instead of his mom pretty much every chance he gets, but he only gets to call once a week. But I hope things get easier. Take care!