Well as some of you know Michael and I have had some trouble being/getting pregnant in the past. I've had a few miscarriages and I have endometriosis (http://www.endometriosis.org/symptoms.html)
Well this morning when I told him that we defiantly aren't pregnant (something I haven't been able to tell him because he's been on a ship but have known for a bit) he told me that he doesn't want to try anymore and he just wants to get a dog. :tears A dog! does he really think that will make me not want to be a mother anymore?:unlove He's shutting down and pushing me aside and I have no clue what to do. HELP

its just his way of dealing with the situation, he is getting his hopes up too and getting let down. we all deal in different ways, tell him how you feel and then give him his space. just dont be mean or make it feel bad for wanting to stop trying. and i am sorry you have to deal with this. you will be in my prayers

:hugs :hugs Oh sweet girl.....i have no words of wisdom but maybe he just doesn't want to see you hurt over this so he figures that is the easiest way to stop your pain....who knows with men? take care and know that i'm here for you if you need anything....

I'm really sorry hun. I know that relationships can be damaged because of this situation and sometimes it's better to just stop- spend some quality time together, and then try again.

I'm sure was feeling alot of pressure just as you were. So he probably just needs a break from trying for awhile. And I would get him a dog, just so he can see the differences between a dog and a child.

I'm sorry, I don't have much advice as I havn't been in the situation- but I hope things get better for you.

:hugs

:hugehug I'm so sorry, I'm sure it's so frustrating and dissappointing.. a friend of mine had endometriosis.. and she has 2 kiddo's now.. are the docs saying it won't happen at all?

I'm so sorry..*big big hugs*

Talk to him, hon. Really sit down and pour your heart out there.

:bigsadhug

Im so sorry sweetheart. Definetly talk to him! That is the only way that he will know what you are feeling. Especially being far away! Im so sorry :hugs

:hugehug I'm so sorry, I'm sure it's so frustrating and dissappointing.. a friend of mine had endometriosis.. and she has 2 kiddo's now.. are the docs saying it won't happen at all?

They're saying the sooner we try the better. I have like a ticking clock that ticks a bit faster and I'm worried time is going to run out and I'm not ever going to have children.

Talk to him, hon. Really sit down and pour your heart out there.

The more I seem to try and pour my heart out the more he shuts down. I can't even get words out because I can't stop crying.

i am so sorry :hugs :hugs i don't have a lot to offer but just sit him down and talk to him, let him know how you are feeling and how it upsets you that he wants to stop trying.

I think to an extent he is right. Stop trying. But at the same time it does not mean you have to prevent either. Just let nature take it's course for a little while and see what happens. :hugs

He wants to prevent it not "let nature take its course". We've been letting nature take its course and my body has been rejecting it.so he wants to get a vasectomy to prevent anymore chances so he doesn't get his hopes up anymore

I think to an extent he is right. Stop trying. But at the same time it does not mean you have to prevent either. Just let nature take it's course for a little while and see what happens. :hugs

I agree! Maybe you guys have been trying so hard that nature isn't ready for it. I wouldn't push him on talking. He might need time to digest. Face it, that was a hard blow. You can't push otherwise that will cause problems.

As for the "keep trying", I would just not "prevent" but forget it for awhile. Sex will become more for baby then for love. That might be what he is getting across. JMO:dunno

:attention:attention:attention
he wants to get a vasectomy to prevent anymore chances

Give him some time, he may feel differently.

I agree! Maybe you guys have been trying so hard that nature isn't ready for it. I wouldn't push him on talking. He might need time to digest. Face it, that was a hard blow. You can't push otherwise that will cause problems.

As for the "keep trying", I would just not "prevent" but forget it for awhile. Sex will become more for baby then for love. That might be what he is getting across. JMO:dunno

:yes

You reall need to tl him, I know you have already, but make him see that getting hte big V is not the way to curb the disappointment.

I think you should get him a dog, and just tell him, that while the dog is something you can both love and everything, you really want to have his child(ren). Make sure he knows that the trying and disappointment is just as bad for you as it is for him.

I hope it all works out and he doesnt do something rash.

A vasectomy is something really big and it is really unfair of him if he did it without your consent. I think he has to get your consent to get one... I could be wrong. Anyway, I hope you are able to work through this and get back to trying. My prayers are with you.

Not in this State! We're in the south you don't have to get your wife's consent for anything.

Im so sorry Sweetie. :(
I have PCOS and can't get pregnant on my own either and have had a misscarriage. We have decided to see a dr and go from there.
I agree to try and talk to him and pour our your soul.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. :hugs :pray

i am so so sorry sweetie. I think this just might be his way of processing the situation. I think infertility/loss is the hardest thing for a marriage to go through. I understand your pain. After we lost matthew (and 3 years into TTC) he didn't want to try anymore. So please PM Me if you want to talk. I'd rather keep my experiences in a private conversation. (L)

:hugehug

Maybe you need to give him some space for a few days and then talk about it. Would counseling be an option so you both can discuss how you feel?

Honey the military is what can prevent it. They will not do it until they know you are ok with it. If you aren't, they won't. B.c ya'll are so young. If he was older and ya'll have kids, then they would do it.

I am so sorry your going through this! I just wish there was something I could say to make it better for you.

I know Dh and I are the opposite then ya'll. I wanted to stop...And Dh isn't about to give up. He told me to have faith in us and know one day we will be blessed. I still have my doubts and when I see other people who are pregnant, I get down and say to myself, that will never happen. But honestly I don't know that, its when God wants to bless us!

It will happen for you two! Ya'll are in my prayers!

Honey the military is what can prevent it. They will not do it until they know you are ok with it. If you aren't, they won't. B.c ya'll are so young. If he was older and ya'll have kids, then they would do it.

I am so sorry your going through this! I just wish there was something I could say to make it better for you.

I know Dh and I are the opposite then ya'll. I wanted to stop...And Dh isn't about to give up. He told me to have faith in us and know one day we will be blessed. I still have my doubts and when I see other people who are pregnant, I get down and say to myself, that will never happen. But honestly I don't know that, its when God wants to bless us!

It will happen for you two! Ya'll are in my prayers!

I was that way and then I got my hopes up this time and started day dreaming about baby rooms filled with little duckies and ladybugs and I let myself care again. :banghead

:hugs I am sure he just doesnt want you to stress about it anymore

:hugs:hugs:hugs

I am SOOOOO sorry sweetie... He is pulling away because he is hurting too.. It is his way of dealing with things but I agree that you need to talk.. Keep the lines of communication open. I also have endometriosis and it has been a struggle for me... surgery after surgery and heartbreak after heartbreak.. I can't answer for you whether having children will happen for you.. but PLEASE know that I am here if you ever need to talk, scream, vent or cry...