Ok I really need advice....my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months now but we have been talking about getting married for a while and we want to get married next May on my birthday and my family isnt very happy about that , they think we are too young and that we are rushing it, I don't agree with them but what do i do, I want my family to be apart of this but if they aren't going to be happy for me , then what??????? someone help!!

My fiance and I were going to get married after being together for 6 months when we were 18. The best decision we ever made was to wait. We got engaged and we're still engaged almost 2 years later.

The best advice we ever recieved (his family was for our wedding, mine was not) was that you cannot postpone the enevitable simply to try to make people happy. You need to do what is best for ya'll and forget what anybody says. They will either come and enjoy themselves or forever regret that they did not come. My mom didn't come and you know what, I couldn't care less. That was my day, not her day to through a pity party and get the attention. And now looking back I think she regrets it not me. Do what is best for ya'll not for everybody else.

dh and i knew we were each other's "one" almost right away however we waited almost a year and a half to get married.

Why not wait? If you are that young then waiting wont hurt. If you are supposed to be together, your relationship will only get stronger. And, I am not one to say that you don't "know" you are supposed to be with him. I knew after DH hugged me for the first time. But, still, 4 months is such a short time. Personally, I say wait.

mine and dhs situation was actually the opposite, we met in feb of last year got engaged in may and got married in october and everyone in my family was so supportive and i was totally not expecting that, i guess do what you feel is right you know, maybe talk with your family to help them understand better?

I say go with how you feel. If you feel you're meant to be, and you really both feel that you can handle a marriage and are willing to make that commitment than go for it. It doesnt matter how others feel, they aren't the ones getting married.

Just because you're young has nothing to do with it. Not everyone is stupid and naive just because they are young. :)

Hope things go well.

I think you should do what you want, just make sure that it is what YOU want. My family is split in my case, some say go ahead, some say wait, but i believe you love who love, and your the one who lives with your choice, not them. good luck :)

I'm not going to do what my family wants me to do, if we are ready to get married next May then I'm going to get married next May, if they can't support me in whatever I want to do then they do not have to be at my wedding.

I was prepared to be disowned from my family the day I announced I was getting married. I got married at 16 and 8 months after being with my then boyfriend. I told them I knew this was right and I was going to do it. I have never been one to care about what other people think to be honest. I said to them if they felt they couldn't love me that was fine and I hung up. Happily ever after however, I think they like him more then they like me ;)

The best advice we ever recieved (his family was for our wedding, mine was not) was that you cannot postpone the enevitable simply to try to make people happy. You need to do what is best for ya'll and forget what anybody says. They will either come and enjoy themselves or forever regret that they did not come. My mom didn't come and you know what, I couldn't care less. That was my day, not her day to through a pity party and get the attention. And now looking back I think she regrets it not me. Do what is best for ya'll not for everybody else.

:agree

Inform them you are waiting a year, not like you are getting married after only 4months. I think it is wise to have a distance relationship.....it will either make you guys or brake you. I believe it is a great test for each other. If my db hadnt left for the Navy I may never had realized we are met for each other. Our relationship has only become stronger. If he decides to make the military his life long career then you'll already know what it's like for him not to be around offten.
Do what you feel is right, remember you have to live w/yourself everyday not your family or you man. good luck sweety.

Personally I would wait. DH and I got together in high school. After 8 months we got engaged but didn't tell our parents. We told them after he got out of bootcamp. Neither of our parents were very excited about it. We decided to wait until he got to a place where he would be for a while and I got some college done. A few years later we were having some problems and broke up. We soon got back together and recently got married. This was almost 4 years from the time we first got engaged. Because we waited we were more sure that we belonged together AND we were both able to grow on our own. By doing this we were able to know ourselves better and we are even more close than we were before.
I can't say what you should do, but waiting can't hurt. If I had it to do all over again there is nothing I would change.

I'm not going to say what I think you should do since no matter what we say on here it is going to be up to you. If you want to get married then get married. If they don't like it they will either get over it or not but either way I'm sure you will end up doing what you want no matter what anyone else says since what you want is going to outweigh everything else. Good luck with whatever you choose. :hugs :goodvibes

My family parents wanted me to wait. I had talked to my grandma about getting married and she told me to follow my heart & do what ever I feel is right. DH and were only physically together for 12 days before we got married. We were dating then he had to leave for deployment. I got married at the courthouse, no one knew, then I came home and told my family. Things do get bettter cause its 3 1/2 years later and we're still married & happy as ever!

Personally I would wait. DH and I got together in high school. After 8 months we got engaged but didn't tell our parents. We told them after he got out of bootcamp. Neither of our parents were very excited about it. We decided to wait until he got to a place where he would be for a while and I got some college done. A few years later we were having some problems and broke up. We soon got back together and recently got married. This was almost 4 years from the time we first got engaged. Because we waited we were more sure that we belonged together AND we were both able to grow on our own. By doing this we were able to know ourselves better and we are even more close than we were before.
I can't say what you should do, but waiting can't hurt. If I had it to do all over again there is nothing I would change.
:agree
Not to sound totally negative but there is probably a reason your family isn't supporting this & they may have a point. It may just be that you are young & haven't known each other that long but you need to really talk to them about why they are so negative on it.

I'm not going to tell you that you should wait or whatever. I'll just say that I was engaged at 18 for a year and a half and I wound up not marrying him.

18-21 are crucial growing years when becoming an adult. Make sure the guy you marry when you're 18 is the guy you want when you're 25 or 30.

Thank You , for all your advice, it really made me think!!! and I already know what I want and thats him for the rest of my life. hehe

The best advice we ever recieved (his family was for our wedding, mine was not) was that you cannot postpone the enevitable simply to try to make people happy. You need to do what is best for ya'll and forget what anybody says. They will either come and enjoy themselves or forever regret that they did not come. My mom didn't come and you know what, I couldn't care less. That was my day, not her day to through a pity party and get the attention. And now looking back I think she regrets it not me. Do what is best for ya'll not for everybody else.

I agree!!