i'm not sure if this should go in here or in the regular girl talk section but i'll post here. okay my fmil says that she's hoping to invite all the family coming to the rehersal that is coming from out of town for the wedding, that's like 40 individual people not including their guests!!!! :wow i think it should just be the bridal party you know me and df, the parents on both sides, the ushers, and attendants for both of us (3 attendants for me 3 for him), not the whole family! i've talked to him about it and i can't really say anything to his mom because she is paying for the rehearsal dinner. plus my fmil is saying that a buffet/serving line at the reception is too fancy for a 530 or 6 at night reception. i'm thinking that if people are coming all the way from cali., MS, NY, and Fl they are gonna want some FOOD!!!! :hungry :eat i know i would. what do you think? i'm not asking who's right or wrong but traditionally regarding the rehersal who all is there?

traditionally just the bridal party, but when I was at JoAnn's (ricky'sgirl) wedding about a year ago, some of her il's family went since they were paying for it. Didnt really bother her or anybody though....especially since they were paying!

If they're paying, I say go for it. It'll give you an extra day to get to know everybody if you haven't already. If you were paying for it then I would've kept it to just the bridal party,imo

well i was over there at xmas and i met 90% of them. i mean its awhile away before we do the rehersal dinner, december but i let df know and he understands but i think its a tradition for them or something because his sister had it and another family friend had it that too. if she doesn't budge on it i'll have him casually say something to her. what do ya'll think about having the buffet/serving line, like actually having people to serve you but you go through and pick what you want? is this too "fancy" for a 530 or 600 wedding?

not at all, I think the buffet is a great idea. I don't think it's too fancy.

not at all, I think the buffet is a great idea. I don't think it's too fancy.

Ditto!!

Buffet would probably be better. That way, people can pick what they want to eat.

Are you talking about the wedding reception? WHY would a served buffet at 6 pm be too fancy? I mean, if that's too fancy then what time is proper for a sit down served dinner?? I've been to 3pm sit down dinner receptions

Whoops, I just realized how sharp I sounded in that post. I didn't mean to be, it's just that your f mil's opinion seems so strange to me.

I dont think a buffet is fancy at all - it's exactly what I'd do. It's your wedding and you can have a buffet if you want one. I know my family would be complaining if there wasn't any food around! As for the rehearsal dinner, if she's paying for it there's not a hell of a lot you can do to protest. It's only one evening....

I say, do what pleases you. It's your day and your dh's day. Only (well, should only) happen once in a lifetime. Plan your day for ya'll.

I say, do what pleases you. It's your day and your dh's day. Only (well, should only) happen once in a lifetime. Plan your day for ya'll.

I agree! Its your reception, do it your way.


With the rehearsal supper.... Ive seen it done both ways. If family is coming from quite a ways away, then I can understand why she wants to include them all. Since she is paying, Id probably let her have her way on that one. Unless you really just dont want them there. In some families I could see that causing future problems though. JMO>

A buffet isn't a problem at all... my wedding is at 7pm and we're doing that... it's not going to be a big fancy wedding either... I would think a sit down dinner would be more fancy! I hope you get things worked out... I would just let her do whatever she wants for the rehearsal dinner... ultimately that's all she really has a say in regarding the wedding ... it's just for a few hours... I've learned to pick and choose my battles with my f-inlaws... I'm tired of fighting!!!

I would just let her do what she wants for the rehearsal. She's paying for it so let her spend the money. If you want to have something intimate with just the bridal party, maybe you could take them to dinner the night before that or take them to breakfast the morning after the wedding.

well i think my fmil is starting to understand sort of that maybe its not the smartest idea to invite all 80 of the family members that are coming from out of town to the rehersal dinner plus the bridal party. i wouldn't mind if the members of the bridal party brought their gf/bf/husband/wife at all. but i've turned it over to her, i told her last night that she can plan it all. i've got enough to do. she seemed okay with it. thanks ya'll

My MIL tried to do this to us and I put my foot down! Thing is, she wanted it to be JUST her family. I had wedding party coming in from out of town and I wanted to spend time with them, rather than having to schmooze with my future relatives (since that's what the entire next day was about). She finally relented, and we were very happy that we pushed her on it. It's a whirlwind time enough as it is- it shouldn't be something you have to worry about.

well i booked my reception site and got a price quote for a buffet/serving line and it is approximately $33/per person including beer/wine/champagne toast/soft drinks/coffee hot tea and water. i didn't think that was bad at all. i'm going to try and get together with fmil tomorrow and i'll let ya'll know what happens.