My boyfriend is that type that is always looking forward to some adventurous trip with the guys or out of town for the weekend for basketball tournament. Of course, his most recent big adventure was to join the Army. I certainly don't mind these adventures, but I just wish I could be a part of one.

Before he signed up we had a pregnancy scare which led to him telling me that "he's just not ready, but maybe in a few years...." He couldn't really say why but it was implied that there's just more that he wants to do first (like join the Army).

So, what do you make of a 32 year old guy who has gone to college and grad school; lived in Europe; and has a great job... basically has done a lot of great things and has a great thing going but still doesn't feel "ready" for not just family but also real commitment.

My friends and family all urge me to break up with him (even while he's away at training) because they think he is stringing me along. I don't want to do that but, with "our" life on hold until at least February I do have a lot of days when I think they may be right. We've made a lot of sacrifices to make things work already and I don't know how to decide where to draw the line.

Does anyone have experience with a situation like this... or advice? Thinking about it has definitely been keeping me up at night (in addition to wondering how he's doing, of course).

Maybe this post would be better suited to the "venting" section.

:hugs I don't have much advice to offer, but he seems like he'll do great in the military. A dynamic and adventurous personality can sometimes be perfect. And he seems like he's academically oriented, too!

A lot of guys just freak out at commitment, have you talked to him about it specifically? Good luck sweety :hugs

I have asked him specifically and he promises that it will be different in the future but that, in the meantime, nothing could change because he was going to training (he started saying this in January when he started talking to the recruiter).

i don't have any experience with this type of situation either, but i want to offer you my shoulder to lean on! i would give it a bit of time, let him get settled into military life, and see how it goes from there. often times, it seems, guys are ready for a bigger committment soon after joining the military because they realize what is important in their lives and who and what they miss so much. so i would say to hang in there, sweetie, at least for a little while longer. don't break his heart while he's in training. that's a huge fear the guys get when enter the military.

don't break his heart while he's in training.

I agree with this 100%.

I'm taking the attitude that no matter the ups or downs I'm in this until February (when all the training should be wrapping up).

But I'm starting to get old and I want to get this sorted out. It would have been better to have a game plan before he left but he kept saying he didn't want to think about how long he was going to be gone, etc. :sigh

i don't know how you ladies do it!