Some of it is kinda sad... Some it is strange, but he's like that sometimes.. Maybe I should have put this on my blog, it's kinda long.

He woke up screaming on tuesday night at the hotel outside of McCoy, he doesn't remember why.. I woke up sreaming that night too--- I forgot where I was, and I rolled over and there was a DUDE IN MY BED! It took me a couple seconds to realize it was him..

We had a great time together :sex After, he said that I was lucky that my head didn't get blown off in the process... It took me a sec to realize what he meant. :boink perv.

I let him drive the 8 hours back home in my Pontiac. He didn't do so good along the highway.. There was some shredded tires that he swerved to avoid.. I told him, "They're just tires, Beefcake." He said that he knew that, but he forgot..

I told him that he was probably the most dangerous thing on the road. He laughed and said that the shrinks told him the same thing in his meetings... I laughed and said that he was the only thing on the highway that was going to blow up.. He said the shrinks told him that too..

He wasn't cleared by command to drive.. But I wanted him to do it anyways. I thought it might help him to feel like he was in control.. and my driving seems to scare him because I drive like, well, a normal person?

We stopped at a fireworks warehouse in Wisconson. He didn't do too well in the store. It was packed full of people, and he started to get a little twitchy.. He didn't have a weapon, and I saw him reach for his sidearm a couple of times. I felt so badly for him. I'm sure it's going to take him a little time to adjust, but it's sad to have to stand back and watch.

On a related note, unknown to me until today, he's gotten his permit to own an assult rifle, and purched an AR-15 while he was away. Great..... I told him that ammo had better be cheap, or he was going to be loading his own rounds in the basement.

We were at Long John Silver's today... He told me that after the extension happened back in January, all the married guys in his company started to get divorced...

He said 47% of the mechanics who were married are coming back to the States as single men. I thought that was terribly sad. You're not allowed to leave your husband when he gets extended. Can I just say that? THE DOOR IS CLOSED! IT'S AGAINST THE RULES! It broke my heart to hear that so many of the guys got left.

He told me about his last mission out. They were doing the right seat/left seat with their replacements.. It was the replacements first misson out. He said that a rocket had gotten shot into the cab of the truck in front of them. It was packed with an accelerant of some kind, and it covered the guys who were in the cab.

He said that he had to stand there and listen to them scream as they burned to death, because there was nothing that could be done to help them. I didn't know what to say, so I just told him that I hoped he had enough sense to put his earplugs in. :tears What the hell does a person say to that??

He said that he did put his plugs in his ears. He said that in a sick way, he was glad that it happened to them, because if wouldn't have been them, it could have been someone from his crew. I didn't know what to say again, so I said, "I'm glad it was them too.":tears

I have to keep reminding myself that I can't get overly sensitive to the things that he says. If I start sobbing and try to hug him everytime, and say, "Oh, my POOR BABY! HUG ME, LET'S CRY TOGETHER! LET IT OUT!", he won't be comfortable opening up to me. It's not that I want to hear about all the death and suffering, but I feel like I'm obligated to toughen up a bit for him.

He is out in the garage right now, he went out and bought himself a new grill, and he's putting it together.. We're grilling tomorrow, going to have some company come over..

I'm so sorry to hear that :( I really dont have any advice, I've yet to go through that. All i can say is I am here for you if you need to talk, pm me anytime. You're heart will tell you what to do and what not to do.

:hugs :hugs :hugs to you for being a great wife and just listening to him and being there for him to talk to. That has to be so draining on you too and hopefully you both readjust soon :)

Wow. You are very strong to see him through this! My thoughts and prayers are with you!!!
:pray

I'm sorry, but I had to laugh when you woke up screaming because he was in the bed. It's funny to me, but I understand.
You're a brave woman - I would have been scared out of my mind if I let Dh drive 8 hours right after he got back. I guess one of you had to be scared.
I don't even know what to say about their last mission out. It's one of those things that my eyes widen and I had to cover my mouth while reading. I'm not sure what I would have said to that either..
Have fun at your BBQ tomorrow!

Good luck with all of that hon. Thank you for posting this, I really needed to read it.

:hugehug Mike had a HORRIBLE time with potholes in the roads...we have pretty bad roads here after the winter and storms so there were quite a few of them in town. He would just cringe up and hold his breath as he passed over them and he tried to swerve to avoid them as well. Potholes in Iraq are a sure spot to find IEDs.....

You both are in my prayers as the re-adjustment process/his next month of training begins. :goodvibes :pray :hugs You know I'm here if you need to talk, sweetie.

:hugs It should get better. This is an adjustment for both of you, and he's been gone a long time.

Vent to us about all the sad/scary stuff he says, if it helps you to be "tough" about it around him.

Good luck with all of that hon. Thank you for posting this, I really needed to read it.

that's why I posted it... Things are fine, it's just knowing how to make everything out to be not a big deal, and saying the right things to him when he opens up. I'm having to choose my words carefully.

And, can he reload shells for an AR? I figured you might know.

wow, thank you for sharing all that. as someone who has yet to experience the re-deployment aspect of all this, it is nice to have some insight from someone who is going through it:hugs. I've known all along it would be quite a readjustment when DB gets back, but I don't think I'll fully realize until it happens:(
uggh the twitching for his weapons at the fireworks stand just really makes it hit home how much they've had to go through over there and the stress they are under:(

You are such a strong woman... I hope I can be as strong for my husband as you are for yours... (L)

:hugs sweetie, you are an awesome woman!!!!

I am so glad he is finally home with you-I know you have waited so long. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for both of you to get re-adjusted. You are very strong and I hope, with time, things will become easier :hugs

Oh, hun! :hugehug I really don't know what to say other than I completely agree that if you want to throw every minute detail about his recovery and adjustment into normal life again, please do. Especially if it gives you somewhere to go when all you want is to have someone ELSE listen too.

You're an amazing woman, not only for waiting for so long, because you were strong, and not just because you had to, but also for standing by him and still seeing yourself as his support. You are truly phenominal.

:hugs, :pray, and :goodvibes

:hugehug Mike had a HORRIBLE time with potholes in the roads...we have pretty bad roads here after the winter and storms so there were quite a few of them in town. He would just cringe up and hold his breath as he passed over them and he tried to swerve to avoid them as well. Potholes in Iraq are a sure spot to find IEDs.....

You both are in my prayers as the re-adjustment process/his next month of training begins. :goodvibes :pray :hugs You know I'm here if you need to talk, sweetie.

The prayers are working glouriously so far.. He's home, and he's safe.. That was the biggest one.

It seems like anything that's out of place causes him to react... A can of paint had fallen out of someones truck and spilled on the highway. It made him take a deep breath in and tense up..

He's going a little overboard with the luxury of making his own decisions. We spent over $300 at the grocery store because of his impulse buying. Anything that looked good to him got thrown in the cart. I suppose that's a small thing, I think it's kinda cute that he beams over buying 30 frozen corndogs, and 2 gallons of skim milk.

I also noticed how different he smells. He smells like moldy mildew... And his feet are different too. Wearing those damn boots for days on end have made his toes fold over on themselves.. I'm going to try to give him a pedicure, and see if I can pumice some of the callouses off..

He also seems to get aroused by things that are unlike him.. We were wrestling around on the couch, play punching each other, he was using pressure points and holds on me until I yelled in pain and screamed for him to stop...

He held me down and played his favorite game from childhood, "Name 10 tractors". Basically you pin someone down and thump on their chest until they can name 10 brands of tractors, Farmall, John Deere, Ford, Massey Harris.. I was screaming and yelling for his to stop, I couldn't name 10... He got a bit chubby from it after he got off me.. I played it off as a reason to tease him, called him a sicko, and a perv....

He told a story about how they psyched a new guy out that the Captain was gay. Then they held him down at chow and pretended like they were going to gang rape him. He laughed until he had tears when he told about how pinned this guy down on his belly, and the Captain lifted his shirt up and exposed his back. He said the Joe screamed like he thought he was going to die.

I guess they develop a different sense of humor...

The prayers are working glouriously so far.. He's home, and he's safe.. That was the biggest one.

It seems like anything that's out of place causes him to react... A can of paint had fallen out of someones truck and spilled on the highway. It made him take a deep breath in and tense up..

He's going a little overboard with the luxury of making his own decisions. We spent over $300 at the grocery store because of his impulse buying. Anything that looked good to him got thrown in the cart. I suppose that's a small thing, I think it's kinda cute that he beams over buying 30 frozen corndogs, and 2 gallons of skim milk.

I also noticed how different he smells. He smells like moldy mildew... And his feet are different too. Wearing those damn boots for days on end have made his toes fold over on themselves.. I'm going to try to give him a pedicure, and see if I can pumice some of the callouses off..

He also seems to get aroused by things that are unlike him.. We were wrestling around on the couch, play punching each other, he was using pressure points and holds on me until I yelled in pain and screamed for him to stop...

He held me down and played his favorite game from childhood, "Name 10 tractors". Basically you pin someone down and thump on their chest until they can name 10 brands of tractors, Farmall, John Deere, Ford, Massey Harris.. I was screaming and yelling for his to stop, I couldn't name 10... He got a bit chubby from it after he got off me.. I played it off as a reason to tease him, called him a sicko, and a perv....

He told a story about how they psyched a new guy out that the Captain was gay. Then they held him down at chow and pretended like they were going to gang rape him. He laughed until he had tears when he told about how pinned this guy down on his belly, and the Captain lifted his shirt up and exposed his back. He said the Joe screamed like he thought he was going to die.

I guess they develop a different sense of humor...

I noticed that Mike's personality/sense of humor had changed as well...the words he used....(:sigh)...etc.

He also had some major impulse buys, but I justified them by saying "he deserves something amazing...."

You are seriously amazing... I'm soooooo happy you guys are reunited!!! I was so excited when I read that... I did backflips (in my head...) :) :) :)

My best friend's husband had some of the same problems at first.... really jumpy and constantly on edge... but he's mellowed out a lot since he came home and is doing really really well now. I remember my friend had some of the same problems trying to figure out what to say and how to be there and be supportive.... while at the same time making sure her own needs were met. She said it was a little hard at first.... but now they're closer than they've ever been.

Just hang in there and keep your chin up... if there's anyone who can tough it out, it's you!!!!

I'm sending you my happy thoughts!!!!!!!! :) :) :) And hugs!!!!

you are so strong Lindsay. I know things will slowly get back to normal and that you guys can get through it.

:( I honestly don't know what to say. Thanks for sharing.

I'm glad he's safe and finally home. I'll be praying for you guys as you both adjust. I'm sure it's going to be draining. I'm here if you need to talk. :hugs

BTW, I had to smile and :giggle at your siggy about your ticker being gone. :)

I'm really happy your ticker is finally gone also! Some of that stuff sounds a little scary but I guess that is just what life is right now for him. You are a super strong woman & I am certain you will make it through this! :hugs

I'm SOOO happy you ticker is gone and that he's there with you!! I remember how worried you were about the adjustment period, but I see you as a strong and compassionate woman and wife and I know you will support him through this transition! You have us if you need us for whatever and I'm going to continue to pray for both of you that he will adjust quickly and that you will all be able to get used to being together again!!!! :hugs

The stories he has to tell are so sad, and I can only imagine what else he's seen and experienced so I will continue to pray that he will be able to find peace through all that!

first of all i think you are an amazingly strong woman. :hugs :hugs what you are going through must be so difficult but i think you are doing a great job of handling it as best you can. thank you for posting these things, although my db will not be deployed as long as your dh was...i will be dealing with him coming home very soon and i am a little nervous about how he may be different. i am preparing myself to just ride it out, and stay as calm as possible, and not be an emotional mess.. i hope things get back to normal for you guys, slowly they will i am sure of that. :hugs :hugs :hugs

I am so happy that Mike is home safe. Thank you for sharing what it has been like the first few days. You are so very strong and I will definitely use you as a guide when David comes home in August. I have been thinking about what it will be like when he comes home. :hug

All that reminds me of the first few days of dh's homecoming. :no . If a car backfired, he would jump so fast.. always looking for his weapon. It would take him a few seconds to realise where he was.. and you could see in his eyes the concentration...... he was searching everyone and everywhere with his eyes- to make sure we were safe. :sigh

I'm glad your hubby is home, and I'm sorry to hear things are like this. Hopefully it won't take him too long to adjust. We are here for you hun. :hugs

Leftie, I am so glad he is back home. Your post made me cry and cry and cry like a damn idiot. Partially for what you are going through and partially for what all of our SOs are going through now. Please keep posting if you can so the rest of us have somewhat of a role model in all this. You always hear the "happy reunions", but no one ever wants to talk about the day to day life and readjusting.

:hugehug

(Oh and good job keeping your head through the :sex. I take it he liked the outfits?!)

Good luck with everything! I'm so glad he made it home safely to you after all this time. I'm sure he'll be fine once he's gotten more acclamated to being back stateside and home with you guys. Happy homecoming!

:hugs You are very strong. I'll be praying for you and your husband. :hugs

you guys are in my :prayers, i know you weren't asking for it but it seemed appropriate for here. :hugs to you, :hugs to him, and :hugs to your family

:hugs :hugs :hugs It's pretty scary to say the least that their brains get so "use" to that way of life. You did make me chuckle and tear up through out this thread. I havent been through a "home coming" from deployment yet, DB has been deployed 4 times, once to the sand box in desert storm. So he knows what to expect from it I guess...though im sure every time is different. I hope things start getting back to normal for you and your DH. Good job on keeping your "head"! I have a shoulder if you need one :D :hugs :hugs :hugs

DJ was a nightmare on the road after not driving for 8 months, I can only imagine what it'd be like if he hadn't driven in 2 years.

I can't even begin to imagine what this transition is going to be like for your family. Just give him his space and be there when he needs to be held.

:hugs and :prayers for you. Like others parts of your posts in this thread made me laugh but mostly I felt like crying for you and your hubby. I hope that the re adjustment period will not be too problematic and that he will be able to admit if he needs help with anything. But I think that with having you there with him through it all and helping him now you two will do great.

:wow I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing that with us. :hugs :hugs :hugs

You are very strong..a weaker woman would not be able to endure what your going through during his readjustment to "normal" life. :hugs

And, can he reload shells for an AR? I figured you might know.

You can reload shells for an AR-15, but there is really no point in it. 223s (the ammo the AR-15s take) are cheap. I have a blast when I go shoot mine, and it's the cheapest gun I own to shoot, as far as ammo. Yeah...crazy me. I have my very own AR...among other guns.

I am glad you posted it too. Huge hugs. I think you are doing all the right things. He might be like this for a few months after the deployment. Matt was twitchy/reaching for his sidearm/nervous driver for a while too. (L) You know where to find me.

awww I got all teary eyed just thinking about how loyal and great you are to him :hugs thats so cute and you are so strong!

woww that is pretty eye opening... i always wonder if kevin will be different when he gets back from Iraq as well. lots of people adjust differently but the things you wrote about are what i hear most often... it breaks my heart to hear that. how long was he there for? if you dont mind me asking

I talked to DB about your situation, and he said its all completley normal. He said when he was home on leave he was freaked. And driving down the street was really hard. PM me and ill let you know what else he said. Hes been through 4 deployments and 4 homecomings :hugs

I admire your strength....first for the deployment time and second for holding him up when he needs you the most. I appreciate your sharing...it gives me perspective and insight into what I have to look forward to in the coming months. I know sometimes we just say it's what we have to do but it goes so much deeper than that. Its not that we have to it's that we love them enough to want to. You are doing a great job....big hugs to you and I'm always available if you just need someone to chat with.