i'm not gonna bother putting this under dear sos, just because i'm that lazy, but i really need the advice...

i'm getting married in ten days to my df. tonight when we were talking about the wedding, i asked him if he was scared, and he said, nope, not at all, what do i have to be scared about?

i said, nothing, nm, but in my head i'm going...oh, i don't know...EVERYTHING! is it a bad sign that i'm scared? i mean, at this point i think i'm more scared about moving across the country away from everything i've ever known than the marriage, but since we're moving right after we get married i tend to kind of lump it all together and i can't pick it apart in my head.

i suppose my point is that i'm scared shitless, and he's not at all, and i feel like i shouldn't be. maybe it's just nerves. i don't know, how do you tell nerves apart from real fear?

of course, it doesn't help that everybody that hears about how we're driving from kansas to washington together - a 24 to 25 hour drive - either says "good luck" in this really sarcastic tone or you know tries to otherwise warn me how horrible it's going to be, like by the time we get to our new home we're going to be ripping each other's heads off.

which doesn't bode well at all, given that he has a horrible temper.

i don't know. i'm so excited about everything, until i start to think about all this...

:depressed

help? advice? butterflies and rainbows? anything?

Don't let it get to you. He may be nervous, but not admitting it because he doesn't want to worry you. As for people's comments about this drive you have to take, screw 'em. Let me go ahead and warn you what (I think) you're going to hate the most... when you're talking about how much you hate him being gone, people that have been married for awhile will tell you that pretty soon you're going to be loving the days he's gone.
Anyway, good luck, I'm sure everything will go wonderfully! And congrats on the wedding!

I know exactly how you feel. I wasn't scared of the actual marriage, I was scared shitless of moving 4 days after we got married across country. I was worried about being stuck in a car with Dh, but it was surprisingly well and it was a honeymoon for us. We both have tempers, which was even more of a shock that it went really well.

To me, it sounds like you're scared of moving instead of the marriage itself, maybe because that's how it was for me and our situations are similar. And yeah, it's normal to be nervous right before you walk down the aisle!

Some of my best times with DH are when we drive for hours and hours in a car together. We go to Phoenix from our home (in KS) every summer and it's about a 21 hour trip, and it gets tedious, but I LOVE being with him during that time! It's great bonding time, I think.

I think nerves are completely natural - especially since you're moving so far away soon after! That is two huge life changes all at once, that is scary! But just try to relax...take a deep breath, and know, you're NOT in this alone, even if he says he isn't nervous, he's still in this WITH you, you're doing this together so no matter what happens, he is your support you can always count on.

i'm not gonna bother putting this under dear sos, just because i'm that lazy, but i really need the advice...

i'm getting married in ten days to my df. tonight when we were talking about the wedding, i asked him if he was scared, and he said, nope, not at all, what do i have to be scared about?

i said, nothing, nm, but in my head i'm going...oh, i don't know...EVERYTHING! is it a bad sign that i'm scared? i mean, at this point i think i'm more scared about moving across the country away from everything i've ever known than the marriage, but since we're moving right after we get married i tend to kind of lump it all together and i can't pick it apart in my head.

i suppose my point is that i'm scared shitless, and he's not at all, and i feel like i shouldn't be. maybe it's just nerves. i don't know, how do you tell nerves apart from real fear?

of course, it doesn't help that everybody that hears about how we're driving from kansas to washington together - a 24 to 25 hour drive - either says "good luck" in this really sarcastic tone or you know tries to otherwise warn me how horrible it's going to be, like by the time we get to our new home we're going to be ripping each other's heads off.

which doesn't bode well at all, given that he has a horrible temper.

i don't know. i'm so excited about everything, until i start to think about all this...

:depressed

help? advice? butterflies and rainbows? anything?


Girl you pulled the words right out of my mouth. But we are driving from Texas to Virgina!! If you need to talk let me know but I am having all the same feelings What day are you getting married? We are getting married July 20th

Oh, I just saw you wanted rainbows and butterflies, so here you go! :) :sos :hugs

:hugs

Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal. I was scared to death the week before my wedding because EVERYTHING was changing..but at the same time I was thrilled to be starting that new chapter in my life. Good luck :hugs

don't let it get to you!! it's normal to be scared!!! as far as the drive....sure you might get into some little tiffs along the way, but every married couple does. it doesn't mean your marriage won't last. and you might need to take a couple of hours away from each other when you get there, but that's perfectly fine!! every couple needs a little time apart sometimes. even if it's just sitting in seperate rooms, doing seperate things for 2 hours. good luck :hugs and that's not a sarcastic one :D enjoy your wedding and your drive.

What you're feeling is normal...I think you are just nervous..
Stop and picture your life without him....Wouldnt be right would it? Getting married and moving is alot to take in but together you'll be alright....

What you're feeling is normal...I think you are just nervous..
Stop and picture your life without him....Wouldnt be right would it? Getting married and moving is alot to take in but together you'll be alright....

x2

Well said! I'm sure you are just nervous and its normal :hugs This is a LIFELONG commitment and it needs to be thought through like that

Hang in there, you're gonna be fine :yes

don't let it get to you!! it's normal to be scared!!! as far as the drive....sure you might get into some little tiffs along the way, but every married couple does. it doesn't mean your marriage won't last. and you might need to take a couple of hours away from each other when you get there, but that's perfectly fine!! every couple needs a little time apart sometimes. even if it's just sitting in seperate rooms, doing seperate things for 2 hours. good luck :hugs and that's not a sarcastic one :D enjoy your wedding and your drive.

:agree...everything will be fine just hang in there! Congrats and good luck on your upcoming nuptials.

I agree with all of the others. Everything you're feeling is totally normal! As for people being sarcastic and saying, "good luck" like that...well, maybe it's because they don't know what else to say. Lot's of people just don't realize that a lot of the things they say can really make others paranoid. :)

Just go with your heart, and you can't go wrong!!!

Oh girl! Don't worry it's just butterflies -- everyone get's them. It's going to be alright. *hugs*
Oh and when me and my brother's drove from Florida to Saskatoon, Canada -- took a week and a day -- whoa. I thought we'd be ripping each other's head's off -- but we didn't.. we had a nice quiet time.

Very normal to be scared, your entire life is about to change in a few days!! Theres no need to be scared though, if you didnt think it was the right choice, you certiantly wouldnt be doing it!!

Girl you pulled the words right out of my mouth. But we are driving from Texas to Virgina!! If you need to talk let me know but I am having all the same feelings What day are you getting married? We are getting married July 20th

we're getting married the 20th too! it's comin up here soon!!! here is my summary of the weeks emotions:
:woot:banghead:lmao:wowsers:irked:duh:nutts:D:scared
:shock:bliss:yahoo:lovestruck:imwaiting:smitten:hissyfit:cloud9
:sweetheart:happydance:panic:exercise:laundry and now we're back to :bliss

honestly i am having a great time planning everything, sometimes i just have those moments where i kind of stop and think omg i'm really doing this? but then df calls and i leap across the room to answer it - and then i know it's all ok.

but thanks for the responses, i needed to hear from somebody other than my own head that it's fine and i'm fine and i'm not insane for doing this.

:D:D:D