Do you think there is a difference between a "you guys suck f*** you" goodbye post, and a "it's been great, you ladies are awesome, i have to leave though" type of goodbye post?

If yes, why? If no, why not?

I think it depends on who it is coming from. The first one, doesn't matter. If they are going to post that then they can screw off. But, I have known a few ladies on other boards who had to leave for personal reasons and I thought it was really nice of them to leave a sweet goodbye post.

Well, :lol The you ladies are awesome but I have to go is less rude :teehee

Depends on if people really DO suck and if they SHOULD fuck off... Maybe it's the truth.

I think there is a difference, and I think it's rather obvious :dunno

Lots of things are obvious, doesn't mean we can't give opinions of them :)

Well, :lol The you ladies are awesome but I have to go is less rude :teehee

I think there is a difference, and I think it's rather obvious :dunno

:yes

There is enough drama on the internet. No need to add to it by being rude as you leave.

What exactly spurred this?

Lots of things are obvious, doesn't mean we can't give opinions of them :)

Good point.

I think the first is a pure attention getter - "I hate you all so that's it I'm leaving, your loss, BYE!" Much like a 2 year old tantrum.

The second seems to be much more considerate and more of a heads up. Though I don't think I've ever seen a goodbye post resembling the second one. Those ladies that think we're the bees knees don't generally have a reason to leave. Unless they're PCS-ing or whatever, and then it's usually followed by a "but I'll be back!".

Personally, my general opinion is that goodbye posts are written as a cry for attention from people looking for assurance and hoping everyone will beg them to stay.

Good point.

I think the first is a pure attention getter - "I hate you all so that's it I'm leaving, your loss, BYE!" Much like a 2 year old tantrum.

The second seems to be much more considerate and more of a heads up. Though I don't think I've ever seen a goodbye post resembling the second one. Those ladies that think we're the bees knees don't generally have a reason to leave. Unless they're PCS-ing or whatever, and then it's usually followed by a "but I'll be back!".

Personally, my general opinion is that goodbye posts are written as a cry for attention from people looking for assurance and hoping everyone will beg them to stay.

:agree

There is enough drama on the internet. No need to add to it by being rude as you leave.

What exactly spurred this?

Nothing spurred it.

Good point.

I think the first is a pure attention getter - "I hate you all so that's it I'm leaving, your loss, BYE!" Much like a 2 year old tantrum.

The second seems to be much more considerate and more of a heads up. Though I don't think I've ever seen a goodbye post resembling the second one. Those ladies that think we're the bees knees don't generally have a reason to leave. Unless they're PCS-ing or whatever, and then it's usually followed by a "but I'll be back!".

Personally, my general opinion is that goodbye posts are written as a cry for attention from people looking for assurance and hoping everyone will beg them to stay.

:agree

Even goodbye posts where they are genuinely leaving, for whatever reason, want to say a board wide goodbye so that their friends and people know they are no long around? That's an "attentiong getter" as well?

Yes, a huge difference. Someone saying "f-you guys I'm leaving" is trying to get attention, wanting people to beg them to stay, or just having a temper tantrum generally. If they don't like the board then they can just leave without the uproar.

I've rarely seen pleasant goodbye posts and those who have made them have had to leave for personal reasons, not because they hate the board or people on it. Most times these aren't permanent goodbye posts anyhow though. ETA: I don't think these types of posts are to get attention, I think they are genuine attempts to let their friends know that they won't be around and not to worry.

Even goodbye posts where they are genuinely leaving, for whatever reason, want to say a board wide goodbye so that their friends and people know they are no long around? That's an "attentiong getter" as well?

Nope, not to me. I don't think that someone posting a genuine post is trying to get attention.

Even goodbye posts where they are genuinely leaving, for whatever reason, want to say a board wide goodbye so that their friends and people know they are no long around? That's an "attentiong getter" as well?

Obviously every situation is different (there I go with that word obvious again). That's why I said my "general" opinion was the attention-getter theory. There are exceptions to every rule. It would have to depend on the circumstances surrounding the post in the first place.

I think this goes back to the argument that sometimes people say things in anger.....which in MY opinion, is NOT an excuse for being rude. If you want to leave, then just leave. Why burn bridges? When you call people names and tell them to F*CK OFF, you are burning bridges.

The second one is nicer. I don't think that a goodbye post means that the person is just looking for attention, or that the person will just come back under a new name.

While the second one is less rude, I still think is just as much of an attention getter/pitty party. If someone truly wants to leave and doesn't want a slew of attention over it, their close friends will normally know where to find them. If not, I'd send a couple PM's to the people I care about and just give them a myspace link or something so they know how to get in touch. Otherwise, I'd just leave my profile in tact with my myspace link in my siggie for those that care enough to look me up. That's what I've done everytime I've ever left a site, and the people who care usually find me and contact me if they care to know how I am.

I hate goodbye posts and I really think most of them are purely done for attention of some sort. That doesn't mean I won't respond to one, because I do occasionally respond to them if it's someone that I know just needs a little positivity or a 'pick me up' if they're feeling discouraged with life, this site or any other site that I may see one on.

Regardless though, I do feel that any type of goodbye post is done mostly for some sort of attention.

I agree with Brandi!

I feel that if an individual likes a site as a whole, but chooses to leave for any reason be it personal life issues or an issue with individuals on that site, that a goodbye post saying (for example) "Just wanted to let everyone know that this site is great (etc) but that i will be taking a step back or leaving for good (etc) and I can be contacted at suchandsuch..." that it is not an attention getter, but more like a mass message that she may not necessarily need to go through PMs.

Maybe they wouldn't want to inadvertantly leave anyone out :dunno

That's my take on it :)

I feel that if an individual likes a site as a whole, but chooses to leave for any reason be it personal life issues or an issue with individuals on that site, that a goodbye post saying (for example) "Just wanted to let everyone know that this site is great (etc) but that i will be taking a step back or leaving for good (etc) and I can be contacted at suchandsuch..." that it is not an attention getter, but more like a mass message that she may not necessarily need to go through PMs.

Maybe they wouldn't want to inadvertantly leave anyone out :dunno

That's my take on it :)

I don't totally disagree with you but I've never personally seen a goodbye post of that nature either :giggle It's usually something like "This site has been great, I've got a lot of things going on, I'm going to step away for a while" THEN at some point in the post they HAVE to include something like "there's just been too much drama" or "I just don't need the extra stress" or something to that effect. Never once have a seen an honest "I just have a lot going on and need to step away for a while" post without somehow throwing a jab at the site in there. Not just this site, I mean every other site that I've been on like some of my mom/parenting boards.

If it was an honest "see ya later post", I may have a different take, but so far I have yet to see one like that. So, that's why my opinion is what it is.

Good point.

I think the first is a pure attention getter - "I hate you all so that's it I'm leaving, your loss, BYE!" Much like a 2 year old tantrum.

The second seems to be much more considerate and more of a heads up. Though I don't think I've ever seen a goodbye post resembling the second one. Those ladies that think we're the bees knees don't generally have a reason to leave. Unless they're PCS-ing or whatever, and then it's usually followed by a "but I'll be back!".

Personally, my general opinion is that goodbye posts are written as a cry for attention from people looking for assurance and hoping everyone will beg them to stay.

:agree

I can understand where you're basing your opinion from. I guess I would think that saying "there is too much drama" might just be explaining a little bit as to why. But, that's just how I would read that I guess :)

I think there is a difference, and I think it's rather obvious :dunno

:yes ITA!!!!!

I can understand where you're basing your opinion from. I guess I would think that saying "there is too much drama" might just be explaining a little bit as to why. But, that's just how I would read that I guess :)

OK, I'm starting to think that we should be expecting a goodbye post? :paranoid Just an honest question. I feel like this was maybe put out there as a feeler as to how people would respond?

OK, I'm starting to think that we should be expecting a goodbye post? :paranoid Just an honest question. I feel like this was maybe put out there as a feeler as to how people would respond?

:sigh

It took someone longer than I expected, but I knew someone would assume they had an idea as to what my intentions were.

Based on opinion's of goodbye posts and how people react, this was an honest question.

:sigh

It took someone longer than I expected, but I knew someone would assume they had an idea as to what my intentions were.

Based on opinion's of goodbye posts and how people react, this was an honest question.

I only assumed because I was basing my assumptions on several things I've seen going on as of late, then this question, then your responses to this question. Sorry if it was an unfair assumption but by your responses to this question, I had just assumed that you were trying to give your reasoning for a goodbye post if you made one... if that makes sense? Sort of like putting it out there so people know you're not making the post to cause problems, but instead of saying that within the goodbye post, you're saying it here. I'm probably not making sense because I'm honestly starting to confuse myself :nutts But basically, I just assumed b/c of the "feel" I've gotten lately then this post, then your answers to this post and things that people have said within this post?

It's in Debates, Brandi ;)

I thought maybe we could all have a good healthy discussion, maybe learn some things about how one another thinks and feels.

OK, I obviously started reading too much into it, so I apologize. I assume too often, I think.

But anyhow, my opinion remains the same. Based on the blow outs that have occurred on this site and others I"ve been on, most goodbye posts don't go over too well. The "I'm stepping away for a while but I'll be back" ones usually go over much better, but obviously I would want someone to say they'll be back when they really won't be :giggle

I've never understood the purpose of 'goodbye' posts. If you're leaving, tell you're friends bye and go. Besides...most people who 'leave' come back and lurk anyways, very rarely do they actually stay gone.

ETA: Not 'you' specifically :giggle just a general 'you'.

Good point.

I think the first is a pure attention getter - "I hate you all so that's it I'm leaving, your loss, BYE!" Much like a 2 year old tantrum.

The second seems to be much more considerate and more of a heads up. Though I don't think I've ever seen a goodbye post resembling the second one. Those ladies that think we're the bees knees don't generally have a reason to leave. Unless they're PCS-ing or whatever, and then it's usually followed by a "but I'll be back!".

Personally, my general opinion is that goodbye posts are written as a cry for attention from people looking for assurance and hoping everyone will beg them to stay.

I agree

I've seen a lot of "I'm going to step back for a bit and focus on myself" posts, and quite frankly, these people rarely actually cut down. The ones that are actually taking some time away from the computer, usually do so without saying anything, just kind of drift away slowly.

However, if someone who has a strong presence on the board, just stops showing up, then members begin to worry. Then someone writes a thread about it. Then everyone jumps to conclusions and it becomes a big deal. So often times the "I'm not going to be here for a while" posts, I imagine, are posted to avoid any sort of mass hysteria. :giggle

I feel that if an individual likes a site as a whole, but chooses to leave for any reason be it personal life issues or an issue with individuals on that site, that a goodbye post saying (for example) "Just wanted to let everyone know that this site is great (etc) but that i will be taking a step back or leaving for good (etc) and I can be contacted at suchandsuch..." that it is not an attention getter, but more like a mass message that she may not necessarily need to go through PMs.

Maybe they wouldn't want to inadvertantly leave anyone out :dunno

That's my take on it :)

I'd do that too instead of sending many PMs. It's faster, and people may really get too busy to even come back and lurk. We never really know why people are doing things. I'd do a post to the whole board since I've been here for awhile, but mainly just know people from posts.

I've seen a lot of "I'm going to step back for a bit and focus on myself" posts, and quite frankly, these people rarely actually cut down. The ones that are actually taking some time away from the computer, usually do so without saying anything, just kind of drift away slowly.



Guilty as charged :rofl I do try to step back sometimes because I seriously get NOTHING accomplished as long as I'm actively posting on here, but I never follow through... it's an addiction. It sucks me in. I can't deny it. :arg

I've seen a lot of "I'm going to step back for a bit and focus on myself" posts, and quite frankly, these people rarely actually cut down. The ones that are actually taking some time away from the computer, usually do so without saying anything, just kind of drift away slowly.

However, if someone who has a strong presence on the board, just stops showing up, then members begin to worry. Then someone writes a thread about it. Then everyone jumps to conclusions and it becomes a big deal. So often times the "I'm not going to be here for a while" posts, I imagine, are posted to avoid any sort of mass hysteria. :giggle

That's what I was thinking!!!

Like the "Do you remember" posts! If there is a "goodbye" post, it is easy to go back and see why that person left :yes

Guilty as charged :rofl I do try to step back sometimes because I seriously get NOTHING accomplished as long as I'm actively posting on here, but I never follow through... it's an addiction. It sucks me in. I can't deny it. :arg

:giggle I am the same. But I do actually step back...just not too much..I might go from making 80 posts a day to 70 :P I am a :loser

However, if someone who has a strong presence on the board, just stops showing up, then members begin to worry. Then someone writes a thread about it. Then everyone jumps to conclusions and it becomes a big deal. So often times the "I'm not going to be here for a while" posts, I imagine, are posted to avoid any sort of mass hysteria. :giggle

That's what I was thinking!!!

Like the "Do you remember" posts! If there is a "goodbye" post, it is easy to go back and see why that person left :yes

I totally agree with these two. That's why I think most of the second types are made.

If it is just a post to let everyone know you can't come online anymore or at least for a while (say because you are moving or your internet has been cut off, lol) then that is different. If it's a "goodbye cruel world" post then those are totally lame.

Guilty as charged :rofl I do try to step back sometimes because I seriously get NOTHING accomplished as long as I'm actively posting on here, but I never follow through... it's an addiction. It sucks me in. I can't deny it. :arg

I've stepped back too so that I could get organized, but in the past days have been on more and I can feel my fingers getting warmed up. So much for that.

Yes. The first one is a drama post. It's the kinda thing where it's like, if you hate us so much, just leave. No need to make an even bigger bitch about it.

The second, I feel, is totally fair. It's nice to let people know if you're leaving, so they don't wonder where you've gone (whether they care or not), and I don't see anything wrong with that, as long as you're nice about it.

Personally, my general opinion is that goodbye posts are written as a cry for attention from people looking for assurance and hoping everyone will beg them to stay.


I completely agree with you Becca! :agree

I haven't really given too much thought about it. Not really something I ponder!

Good point.

I think the first is a pure attention getter - "I hate you all so that's it I'm leaving, your loss, BYE!" Much like a 2 year old tantrum.

The second seems to be much more considerate and more of a heads up. Though I don't think I've ever seen a goodbye post resembling the second one. Those ladies that think we're the bees knees don't generally have a reason to leave. Unless they're PCS-ing or whatever, and then it's usually followed by a "but I'll be back!".

Personally, my general opinion is that goodbye posts are written as a cry for attention from people looking for assurance and hoping everyone will beg them to stay.

Becca said it best... I agree 100%.

:dramaqueen I am leaving the site. I have to step back and focus more on me. Good bye, cruel SOS world...Goodbye. :dramaqueen

:lol I'm a :loser and I'M KIDDING!

I took a few week break a few months ago. I lurked and posted here and there, but I wasnt in a good place emotionally, and needed to spend MORE time with dh and Val. But I'm better, and I'm back. So much for breaks.

:dramaqueen I love that smilie. Its just so...me. :lol :dramaqueen

I think it depends on who it is coming from. The first one, doesn't matter. If they are going to post that then they can screw off. But, I have known a few ladies on other boards who had to leave for personal reasons and I thought it was really nice of them to leave a sweet goodbye post.

:yes