Ok so my husband is desperately trying to get me pregnant, and I am not sure if I am ready for that right now Kaleigh just turnd one year old on the 8th and they say, or atleast I was toold by a friend you have to wait to years before concieving again because your body needs time to heal... is tha true??? But my husbnd wants twins and I don't know how to make that happen for him... he talking about how great twins will be...I mean I wasn't ready the first time I got pregnant but I dealt with it and I will deal if I get pregnant now but twins??? Then I think about it and i'm like would it be so bad to have twins???? I think I am going nuts.....

Wow, Have you tried talking to him about the way you feel?

You should probably sit down and have a long talk with him

The average waiting time that most ob's will tell you is 12-18 months after a child to let your body heal. But there are MANY women who get pregnant before that time frame and all is well with them

You cannot MAKE twins happen. If it happens then it happens. But you cannot force it. Even though I took fertility medication to get pregnant with my son, and it upped my chances of having multiples, I still only was pregnant with him.

If your not ready for another baby then definatly have a chat with him. Because if you do get pregnant and do not want to, you could hold alot of resentment and thats not good.

g'luck

maybe try telling him that?

I know I should talk to him but I feel like he never listens to me... I mean after I had kaleigh I did all by myslef pretty much because he was working... I went a month with out sleep, then I finally had a break down and he stepped in... I mean I want to keep him happy but he doesn't understand how hard it is to be pregnant and have to do everything...He feels like I owe him to get pregnant since he enlisted and stopped drinking.... When I try to talk to him he just says "Babe you can handle it, you can handle anything" So now I really don't want to be intimate with him because I feel like he is only trying to get me pregnant... He says he wants a big family and kaleigh needs sibblins and I and cool with that just not now, he ins't done with tech school and we ae gonna have to move again in feburary...idk maybe I am whining

You are not whining, you are just saying how you feel. Honey, you really need to be honest with him. Just explain that you do want more children just not right now. You need time to be with Kaleigh and enjoy her being little. Your both young and there is time.

I agree you need to be honest with him and make him listen! We are trying to avoid twins! LOL My great Grandma had 3 sets of Twins and it is my generation to have them again! Good luck with everything and I hope that for your sake you husband listens to you!

You should probably sit down and have a long talk with him

The average waiting time that most ob's will tell you is 12-18 months after a child to let your body heal. But there are MANY women who get pregnant before that time frame and all is well with them

You cannot MAKE twins happen. If it happens then it happens. But you cannot force it. Even though I took fertility medication to get pregnant with my son, and it upped my chances of having multiples, I still only was pregnant with him.

If your not ready for another baby then definatly have a chat with him. Because if you do get pregnant and do not want to, you could hold alot of resentment and thats not good.

g'luck

Perfectly said..

x2

He feels like I owe him to get pregnant since he enlisted and stopped drinking....

I don't think you 'owe' him anything like that. It seems that there are more and deeper rooted problems than just the question of pregnancy. Try talking to him again and explain to him WHY you don't feel ready yet.

If you aren't ready you aren't ready.. You don't "owe" hime children. He should respect your decision. plus like you said it will mainly be you running the show and having two little ones running around is exhausting. He owes it to you to respect your feelings, you are the one who is going to be pregnant and have to give birth, not him.

It sounds like you have some more serious issues at hand here then just having babies. I think you should both go to counceling. I he will not go thatn at least you should so you can learn how to tell him what you want. Also (if it is not against your beliefs) he cannot stop you from using birth control. The shot or an IUD is near immposible for him to find out about. :hugs

you should definitly talk to him. again and again if need be. if you bring it up enough, maybe he'll get the point. counselling does sound like a good idea. you should never feel like you owe him anything. i think he owes you an apology though.

good luck!

So I talked to him, and it turned into a big arguement... he said he just wants a big family and he doesn't understand my problem...He said that it is not fair tht I will deprive him of a large family and that he has made so many sacrifices for me, and I need to sacrafice a little, but last I checked I did sacrafice alot to be with him, when he was running around cheating on me I stuck around... and I dropped out of school when I found out I was pregnant because he insisted I live with him 2 hours away from my college.. o what he went to the Airforce, it's abpout time he stepped up right??? Why do I have to do everything...

You shouldn't have to do everything. He sounds pretty selfish when it comes to wanting more kids. It is okay fir HIM to try to override you but you have no say in it? At least that's what he is trying to do. Stick to what YOU want. YOU would be the one pregnant and later caring for the children. If you don't feel ready he has to accept that. i agree with the others that have suggested counceling.

He says that counceling is for people who have problems and we don't so we are NOT going.... I says that he is not going to comprise on this, so I am going to the doctor on uesday to get birth control, so he can comprimise that......

Wow I am going to be blunt because that is how I am. Counseling can simply be viewed as a mediation to get communication flowing effectively. I don't hear anything in this that says to me that your communication is flowing effectively. If anything I would be turning the tables and saying something to the effect of "hun, if you are so adamitly wanting more children then we need to go to a counselor first for me to potentially feel comfortable with this." I think that if my DH was pushing that hard to have additional children and I was uncomfortable with it we would have to sit down and have a heart to heart about it.

My DH is already talking that he wants more kids and we don't even have the first one out. However, he knows that when it comes to that we will have a sit down conversation to determine when and if we have more. But that's how we are, we have open communication about everything. Your relationship sounds to me like you need to have a counselor help to minimally help to get your communication in your relationship stronger. Good luck girl, if you need an ear I am here.

If you aren't ready you aren't ready.. You don't "owe" hime children. He should respect your decision. plus like you said it will mainly be you running the show and having two little ones running around is exhausting. He owes it to you to respect your feelings, you are the one who is going to be pregnant and have to give birth, not him.

:yes

I think more babies are the last thing you two need right now. Counseling is a good first step if he won't go with you then I would go with out him. He sounds boderline abusive or at least enough into the danger zone that I would be a little scared. I hope he starts listening to himself soon so that he can hear how unreasonable he sounds! You are in my thoughts.