for those of you who have had dh deployed.....

as many know Ryan (dh) has been back from Iraq for about 6 months now. He is still at Ft Hood due to medical stuff. Anyway, we have had TONS of problems in our marriage since his return. He shows no affection *aside from sex*, never says he loves me like he did, rude, hateful, he is just different. Anyway, the other night we sat down and had a serious discussion. He said since he came back he just no longer loves me. He said he dont hate me, he cares for me, but he dont love me :unlove He said I havent done anything wrong and he dont want anyone else, he just dont love me.....idk what to think....have you ever heard of this? i dont understand :nutts

We are still together and we are trying to reconnect. We dont want a divorce. I just dont know what to feel

:hugs to you I have no advice but I hope someone here can help you

:hugs to you I have no advice but I hope someone here can help you

:agree what she said. :hugs

:bigsadhug

I dont have a clue but I wish you the best!

I just want to say I hope it all works out for you guys. :hugs :hugs

i too have no help but i wanted to offer you :hugs :hugs :hugs and :goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes

it sounds like you guys are taking the right step...talking about it, maybe you can go to some counseling so you can get some help and advice on how to reconnect, it sounds like he wants to try, and perhaps his feelings are just numb and different since he got back from iraq. that would be so difficult to hear, but suggest getting some help together so you can work thru it together see what he says?

Wow hun, that would be such a hard thing to hear. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. :hugs I do find it off that he decided this when he got back from deployment...how did he act during the deployment? Did he go to Iraq? I know typically there is an adjustment period for both people after a deployment, but not something as severe as this.

I certainly hope ya'll are able to re-connect and he will realize that he does love you and wants to do everything to make the marriage work.

Best of luck to you sweetie! :hugehug

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that! He may be depressed- especially if he's at Ft Hood for medical stuff. I don't think it's right for him to be rude and hateful towards you, though-- if he doesn't want to get divorced- very good sign that there's still hope for ya'lls future- then maybe you can do counseling- but hopefully he'll make some kind of effort

:bighugs I think you are the doing the right thing with taking one step at a time and trying to reconnect. How do you feel about him? Jus wondering

:hugs I suggest you two seek counseling, and he seeks counseling on his own as well.

I am very very sorry to hear this -- I cant imagine what you must be going through and it makes me hurt inside to think if my husband ever did this. Im guessing not a whole lot of people are giving advice because they dont really know him and with something as serious and emotional as this - no one wants to say the wrong thing. I hope everything works itself out -- I say pray on it - do what you can, and what is meant to happen, will happen. Good luck, Im very sorry

This is a tough situation, but right now just try and live in the day and see where it goes. Deployments really, really screw with their heads and even though he may be saying that right now it may just be that he is feeling emotions and sensations that he does not know how to cope with. If you are both committed to trying to work this through you should go to marriage counseling, and maybe he should see someone about PTSD. My prayers are certainly with you.

Maybe he is dealing with PTSD. I would definitely seek counseling, together and separately. Good luck and big *hugs*.

Counceling would be a very good idea.

Sweetie they see a lot of things over there and experience a lot of things that we just don't understand. We try to understand but we never really do. Has he been checked for PTSD? If not then that may be something that he needs to be screened for. It changes them when they are over there. Especially depending on their job. I am one of the lucky ones whose husband is extremely laid back and go w/ the flow. He didn't change at all. But like the other ladies said it is a good thing that he doesn't want a divorce that shows that he still wants to try. I don't believe that he doesn't love you. I believe that he's just going through a lot with adjusting to what happened over there and the medical problems you mentioned. Just give him some time and be there for him. Get to know each other again. Make him remember why you guys fell in love in the first place. It's still in there somewhere. He doesn't mean to be hateful towards you but he has to get his frustration out and unfortunately you are the closest person to him. My husband takes stuff out on me at times too. But I'd rather him yell and scream at me if it's going to make him feel better then to keep it bottled up inside. Just hang in there. Try not to push him. Just let it happen naturally. I know that's easier said than done. If you need to talk or vent you can always pm me! I hope this helped some! *hugs*

:hugs my ex came home with the same demeanor. unfortunately our marriage ended in divorce. I say try counseling, whether you both go or you go by yourself. talk to someone, a professional. he prob has PTSD from being over there, i know alot of guys from my ex's platoon that came home screwed up. its definately a tough thing to go thru. if you need to PM me. I'll listen and advise where I can.