He's not been home for quite a week yet.. The changes in him are so terribly obvious to me, but no one else... We had to drive 2 hours last night so he could see his battle buddy..

He's having trouble being apart from him, so we've made plans for him to go and stay with his BB tuesday and wednesday.. I think they both need it. I've been in close contact with his BB's wifey as well... BB is having a hard time too without DH..

He hasn't slept in our bed since he's come home.. He will spend the "quality time" with me in bed (:sex), then go out to the living room to sleep in the recliner or on the couch.. He's even slept on the floor of our bedroom next to my side of the bed, I've stepped on him while going to the bathroom in the middle of the night..

He is having a very hard time adjusting to not having his weapon.. Saturday, he picked up his AR from the Panther dealership.. this is going to sound crazy, but he's done guard duty around the perimeter of our farm with his AR twice a day..

He says he's going for a "walk", but he takes his weapon with him to check the livestock and the fences.. I don't say anything.. I know what he's doing...

He has been getting up at 0600 every morning, and he goes to the kitchen... When I wake up every single cupboard is open.. I say, "Why are all the cupboard doors open?" He says, "Because I wanted to see what was inside them."

It seems like he is having a hard time comprehending the fact that he can open a cupboard door, and look at the contents and revel in fact that those contents belong to him..

He says, "See that stuff in the cupboard? IT'S MINE. That's MY stuff. Those are my coffee cups, that's my tomato soup, that's my Pyrex baking pan. I'll close the door when I'm done looking at it.."

Then he'll stand there and rearrange the contents, turn the labels out, stack the cups, close the door, go back and open the door, then rearrange it again.. He's pulled out all the tupperware, and stacked it on the kitchen floor, made towers with it, then put it back in the cupboard..

thats terrible-I hope he relaxes soon & that you guys can get good quality time in hun :hugs

It sure sounds like PTSD to me... :thinking Im sorry hes having such a rough time. I hope he adjusts soon. For his sanity and yours. Scary stuff. :hugs

Jeez, I too hope he relaxes soon and hope it doesnt get worse

:hugehug

No advice. Just stand by him like you do.






the occasional bucket of cold water...

All I have to say is wow! It's good of you to let him see his BB though. Maybe they can have weekly or biweekly playdates :giggle

Hopefully things will get better as time goes on. I think you're doing an awesome job helping him get back to his normal lifestyle.

Poor guy its gotta be hard adjusting to being home and having all of his stuff again. I hope he adjusts soon and you both can relax.

Yeah, definitely sounds like PTSD. Have you mentioned getting some counseling to him? He can't like being paranoid like that. I hope he can calm down and you two can start to enjoy being together again!

:hugs and :prayers to you guys. maybe suggest talking to someone, i don't know what to suggest just that i'm thinking of y'all

Yeah, definitely sounds like PTSD. Have you mentioned getting some counseling to him? He can't like being paranoid like that. I hope he can calm down and you two can start to enjoy being together again!

No counceling yet, he's only been home since monday night.. He has to have the chance to adjust first..

If it's something that gets worse before it gets better, and it's something that he shuts me out to, then I'll talk to him about counceling..

I'm sure he's going to be just fine, it'll be a rough couple of weeks.. He was there for a long long time...

No counceling yet, he's only been home since monday night.. He has to have the chance to adjust first..

If it's something that gets worse before it gets better, and it's something that he shuts me out to, then I'll talk to him about counceling..

I'm sure he's going to be just fine, it'll be a rough couple of weeks.. He was there for a long long time...

I think because of that, it's going to take him quite awhile to adjust. I wouldn't worry about counceling unless it doesn't seem to be getting better after awhile.

:bighugs

It really is going to take him some time to adjust considering that he was there a long time.

:hugs :hugs :hugs stay strong you are amazing!!

wow, thats gotta be harsh..

I think because of that, it's going to take him quite awhile to adjust. I wouldn't worry about counceling unless it doesn't seem to be getting better after awhile.
:agree I would wait it out, im sure it will get better!

Wow I'm sorry hun, I hope he calms down some! My prayers and love go out to the both of you.

How long was he deployed for?

:hugehug And to answer the above question, I believe it was 22 months. Can you imagine that? Two years. No wonder he is having difficulties. I hope that things gets easier for him. I think it is awesome that you and his battlebuddy's wife are making sure they get to see one another. I can imagine it is hard for him to be without him. It kinda reminds me of how Hawkeye (from M*A*S*H) felt when B.J. left. Not that your Dh's situation was anything like M*A*S*H or that M*A*S*H is anything like reality, but it is the closest comparison I can think of. My heart and prayers really go out to you and your husband during this readjustment period. Good luck!

Oh my goodness. That is terrifying... My prayers are with you.

please seek councilng immediately-

he is sufferring from PTSD- the night mares will come next-the night sweats and the terror.. he needs help and support fast....

just stick by him-
and as terrible as this may sound- from someone who has BTDT-
he will NEVER be the same- you will need therapy too, you will have to learn to love a different man. and it is very very hard.
You will cry you will get angry, you will want to leave- you will greive the loss of the man you fell in love with, and then you will fight to keep him whole and to keep your family whole- you have a very long battle on your hands- you need to be strong and take control of the situation.

Good luck my thoughts are with you!

:hugehug
Stay strong. Like you said he needs some time. But keep the counseling in mind. He went through some awful stuff. (L) (L)

Wow sweetie, I feel so bad for him.. well and you too.. Try to persuede him to go get counseling before it gets to bad.. Man.. I'm so sorry sweetie :hugehug :hugehug :pray

:hugehug No words of advice just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and your family. :hugs I also want to thank you for sharing. I think its a blessing for the rest of us who have SO's coming home soon to have a heads up on what to expect.

"Downrange To Iraq and Back" by Bridget Cantrell is an excellent book for both of you to read that will clarify why they do these things.

Plant the seeds for counselling now. By plant the seeds, just say "honey, if things don't settle down for you, you may want to think about talking to someone." It took me months to get hubby to agree to talk to someone about his experiences, and I believe that delay has direct impact on the seriousness of his condition now.