So I just got done talking with DF...Here is the long story.

He had talked with his ex a week ago and told me a few days ago that he hasn't been sleeping because he has had a lot on his mind. One thing was thinking about his ex and whether or not he could ever be happy with her (she wants him back now). He told me after thinking, his answer was definitely no. He is also stressing about money, annoucing our engagement to our parents, his unit making bullshit rules for them to follow that other units don't have, etc.

So tonight he starts out by telling me that he is having a bad day and just wants to come home and be with me. He hates his command, hates Iraq, and also had a really bad case of heartburn all day today. Being the smart person I am...after cheering him up for a bit, I decide to bring up that it concerned me that he was considering what would happen if he went back with his ex. He tried so hard to explain why he was thinking about that, but that it didn't mean that he would ever do it, that he loves me, and that I make him so happy compared to her. I don't want to be compared! So I tell him that I don't want to be second, or the next best thing since he lost her. He says even without me in the picture, he wouldn't be with her and he can't wait to get back and be with me and only me.

Then phone time is called and he has to go, knowing that what he said only made me more upset, not better. He says he hates being 7000 miles away and not being able to make things better for me. And I have to go knowing that I probably made his bad day even worse and we can't talk until tomorrow.

I guess I don't need advice, unless you have some, but I just feel terribly helpless and hopeless right now and it seems like no one in my life knows what to say or how to help me feel better.

Thanks for "listening"...

Aww sweetie Im sorry your going through all of this, I really dont have any advice but if you ever want to just talk Im here for you :) anytime.

:hugs

:hugehug:hugehug:hugehug

I think he was just thinking about his ex, and comparing so he could get some closure on his past relationship. And that's normal- he just....probably shouldn't have told you about it. He loves you, and he wants to be with YOU- that's what really matters.

As for people making you feel better, you pretty much have to learn to only rely on yourself for that one. It's not great, and it can be pretty distressing, but once you can cheer yourself up- things don't seem so bad, and neither do people.

Sorry your feeling like this- but you know it won't last.. it's just one of those tough times we all go through in deployments. Just wait until he gets back! You will be on top of the world again. :hugs :hugs

i dont really have any advice. im sorry. but, i do know what its like to feel like youre being compared to the dreaded ex. like, you;ll never be good enough, or he'll never care about you as much.. well, i mean, thats how i feel sometimes lol. i guess we just have to keep faith and be supportive. let them know that we are the ones in their lives now and love them very much

I think he was just thinking about his ex, and comparing so he could get some closure on his past relationship. And that's normal- he just....probably shouldn't have told you about it. He loves you, and he wants to be with YOU- that's what really matters.

As for people making you feel better, you pretty much have to learn to only rely on yourself for that one. It's not great, and it can be pretty distressing, but once you can cheer yourself up- things don't seem so bad, and neither do people.

Sorry your feeling like this- but you know it won't last.. it's just one of those tough times we all go through in deployments. Just wait until he gets back! You will be on top of the world again. :hugs :hugs

Thank you so much for all of this! Best thing I have heard to help me yet! :tu

Good luck sweetie!!

Sweetie, DB and I sort of went through this in the beginning of our deployment. I encouraged him to evaluate the confusion he was feeling and to determine his feelings for her. It was the only way we could really ever move past it. He took some time and he thought long and hard and he talked to her and what not.

It made us SO MUCH STRONGER and I think the same is going to happen for you two. Just remind him that he doesn't have to forget her, as she was part of his life for a while, and that you are happy he "chose" you and that you two can now REALLY start your life together, kwim? :glomp

:hugs

I think he was just thinking about his ex, and comparing so he could get some closure on his past relationship. And that's normal- he just....probably shouldn't have told you about it. He loves you, and he wants to be with YOU- that's what really matters.


I agree with this and I guess the one good thing you can say is that he obviously feels the need to tell you everything he is feeling which shows how much he loves you but sometimes things are better left unsaid. It will be okay hang in there better days are to come!

I don't have any advice, but I wanted to give you a :hugs

I agree with this and I guess the one good thing you can say is that he obviously feels the need to tell you everything he is feeling which shows how much he loves you but sometimes things are better left unsaid. It will be okay hang in there better days are to come!

I guess I asked for it...I knew he was upset and I had guessed it had something to do with the ex...I know him so well it's scary sometimes. :hehe I wish it wasn't there to be said, but since it was, I'm very thankful for honesty in our relationship. At least then I know...

Hang in there. This is all pretty over whelming to him and he is just thinking a lot. Give him some time and just keep telling him you love him.