Hope that you are okay.

Thinking about you girl:) xoxo

me too.. hope everything is okay.

:goodvibes, Hope things are going a little smoother with your hubby

I'm thinking about you too lefty! :hugs

Definitely thinking about you also.. :hugs

Good thoughts and prayers going your way! :hugehug

:goodvibes

Definitely thinking about you. Let us know how it went with his command and whatnot.

Yeah woman, keep us posted. Glad to hear your going to the ball game, thats great! You and your family is always in my thoughts and prayers :)

Your in our thoughts hun:yes

Been thinking about you too. Hope you are still doing ok.

Been thinking of you as well! I hope things are ok :hugs

Wow, you guys.....

You are all so incredibly kind and thoughtful.. :tears Thanks... I have an update...

Wow, you guys.....

You are all so incredibly kind and thoughtful.. :tears Thanks...

How are you? Are things better on the homefront?? I know you and I don't always see eye to eye but I think you're a nice person and I've been really worried about you!

(L) :hugs Praying for you honey

I called his command, they referred me to the company Chaplain.. He was very sympathetic, but not very helpful... Everyone seems to be telling me to wait until the 30 reintegration seminar..

I called my brother, who's done a year tour as well, and told him everything. He had some good insight as to why DH has been doing these things, but no solution..

I spent the day pretty much in a state of apathy, I'm still just so glad to have him home alive.. Don't get me wrong, I hate the idea of all this debt.. he didn't stay here last night..

I called his battle buddy's wife at lunchtime, who has been my battle buddy in the last 2 years.. Turns out the DH drove 2 hours last night and crashed on their couch... I told her my side of the story, and she as well, wanted to kill him. However, he had been helping them re-roof their house all day, so she said that she would wait until they were off the roof before she karate-chopped him in the throat...

She must have said something to him, he was waiting here in the driveway when I got home tonight.. He bought me something... Had flowers, was crying, said he was sorry...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v601/MN110/DSC00750.jpg

I don't know if this is going to make ANYTHING BETTER AT ALL.... I think he's missed the point. Well, he's TOTALLY missed the point.

I'm still really really mad, he just pushed me to the point where I couldn't take it.. He's out in the garage right now, I don't know what I'm going to tell him when he comes in... I have no idea..

Also, his comand reminded me that if we accrue too much debt, he will lose any security clearance, and may not be elligible for promotion...

That's a beautiful ring honey. You two will work it out (L) I know that you know that though!!

That's a beautiful ring honey. You two will work it out (L) I know that you know that though!!


I dunno, I've had it for like, an hour, and it kinda pisses me off when I look at it... I dunno if I want to wear it.... :shrug

Well - at least he's trying? :grouphug

I've been thinking about you alot today too. I hope he gives you answers...

Well - at least he's trying? :grouphug

I've been thinking about you alot today too. I hope he gives you answers...

do you think I should give him credit for trying? I mean, gifts aren't really my love language...

I just want to spend time with him...

Its nice be bought you something, But the main thing is He said Sorry, and that can be the start. Lets hope he proves he is sorry and realizes what stress he is causing you. Goodluck :)

I don't want a ring... I want a baby.... :hissyfit

I dunno, I've had it for like, an hour, and it kinda pisses me off when I look at it... I dunno if I want to wear it.... :shrug

Tell him that honey. I know you just feel so blessed to have him home with you so that must be so hard to tell him. I can't even fathom what you are going through, all I can do is pray for you Lefty! And that's what I'll do!

Tell him that honey. I know you just feel so blessed to have him home with you so that must be so hard to tell him. I can't even fathom what you are going through, all I can do is pray for you Lefty! And that's what I'll do!
:agree the ring is nice, but it doesn't make up for all the emotional turmoil he put you through. I am with Kara i will keep you in my thoughts.

I've been thinking about you as well. I just feel awful for your situation all the way around. I feel HORRIBLE for what you're going through and I also feel awful for him because I know that he's having some serious effects from being in the sand box. I really hope everything starts to get better :hug

:HUGS

i thought about you all day today too. i agree with ashley (sailorwife2b0620), he said sorry and that can be the start. go from there. i agree with you, as well, in that i don't know if i'd be able to wear the ring because, like you said, he completelt missed the point. i'm keeping you in my thoughts. i hope everything gets a little less stressful. keep us posted. :hugs

Well, I still think it might not be too late to get something done about the loan? At the very least, if you sold the bike and boat, that might fix a lot of it, right? I think your DH should be willing to consider that as an option since he had such disregard for your feelings in the beginning. I hope his explanation is good and that you two really get to talk about all this.

The ring is beautiful. But, given the situation, I know it's not what you would prefer. Take it for an apology gesture, and then tell him what you really want/need for an apology.

And, if it does turn out that all this is stemming from PTSD, feel free to talk to me about it, I've been dealing with my Dad's for as long as I can remember. It's not pleasant, but it's totally workable.

I wish you so much luck honey, you've been so strong, and it's about time you got to rest your head and relax. :hugs

At least you know hes thinking about you and HE isnt the only one HE cares about. Im sure you know he loves you, hes just having a tough time. I know nothing anyone can say or do will bring the money back or no amount of money will but his love and affection.

Sometimes, we just want to be held and made to feel like the most important person on their radar.

:hugs

My heart definitely goes out to you. Like Tiff said, sometimes you just need to be held and comforted and I hope he starts to understand that soon. In the mean time, at least the apology was a start. I hope things start to change soon! :hugehug

You are in my thoughts daily! I certainly hope you guys work things out... the ring is beautiful, but I think some explanation and getting to an understanding of expectations is greatly needed for your sanity. :hugehug I hope things improve soon!

:hugehug You're in my thoughts and prayers. I really hope things will work out for you two.

Here is a good book for your husband and yourself to read. I was told to get this from my father who is finally starting to deals with his issues from Vietnam. I haven't read it all but the part I have read was good.

Courage After Fire -Coping Strategies for Troops Returning from Iraq and Afghanistan and Their Families
Keith Armstrong, L.C.S.W./ Suzanne Best, Ph.D/ Paula Domenici, Ph.D.

I have been thinking of you and hoping things work out quickly for you guys.

Well, I still think it might not be too late to get something done about the loan? At the very least, if you sold the bike and boat, that might fix a lot of it, right? I think your DH should be willing to consider that as an option since he had such disregard for your feelings in the beginning. I hope his explanation is good and that you two really get to talk about all this.

The ring is beautiful. But, given the situation, I know it's not what you would prefer. Take it for an apology gesture, and then tell him what you really want/need for an apology.

I wish you so much luck honey, you've been so strong, and it's about time you got to rest your head and relax. :hugs

Del's advice is dead on. DH needs love and support but a long deployment doesn't give him the right to negate all your hard work to get ya'll out of debt! And you and DS have just as much right to his love and support now, too.
I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers. :pray

sweety-the ring is sweet & thoughtful but you are right it doesn't make up for what has happened-I wish you peace & answers in this trying time:hugs

:hugs oh Lindsay..I'm sorry sweetie. How long has he been home now? I think you guys need to sit down and talk and sell at least the bike, and he needs to tell you where all the money went to out of your account. the ring is beautiful....but it would have been a lot more beautiful a week or two ago before he pulled all this crap. Put it to him bluntly: If he continues spending like this, he will lose his job and could even lose his family...I don't think that is something he really wants to do. I think the time for patience is over..and it's time to knock some sense into him. :hugs

Well, I still think it might not be too late to get something done about the loan? At the very least, if you sold the bike and boat, that might fix a lot of it, right? I think your DH should be willing to consider that as an option since he had such disregard for your feelings in the beginning. I hope his explanation is good and that you two really get to talk about all this.

The ring is beautiful. But, given the situation, I know it's not what you would prefer. Take it for an apology gesture, and then tell him what you really want/need for an apology.

And, if it does turn out that all this is stemming from PTSD, feel free to talk to me about it, I've been dealing with my Dad's for as long as I can remember. It's not pleasant, but it's totally workable.

I wish you so much luck honey, you've been so strong, and it's about time you got to rest your head and relax. :hugs

:thumpsup Well said girl.

I hope things get better for you and you're husband realizes that all you've wanted from him all along, is spending time with him. :hugs You're in my thoughts.

:hugs oh Lindsay..I'm sorry sweetie. How long has he been home now? I think you guys need to sit down and talk and sell at least the bike, and he needs to tell you where all the money went to out of your account. the ring is beautiful....but it would have been a lot more beautiful a week or two ago before he pulled all this crap. Put it to him bluntly: If he continues spending like this, he will lose his job and could even lose his family...I don't think that is something he really wants to do. I think the time for patience is over..and it's time to knock some sense into him. :hugs

ITA!

Any news today? You hanging in there, girl?

Any news today? You hanging in there, girl?

Oh, thanks for asking.... the ring went back to the store.. I told him that I appreciated it, but we just can't afford it now..

He's told me that he's going through a "rebellious stage"... He won't cut his hair until he has to go back to work, he's growing sideburns too..

I haven't talked to him today, I'm not sure where he is right now..

I hope that the two of you get some resolution soon. :hugehug You continue to be in my thoughts!

:hugs oh Lindsay..I'm sorry sweetie. How long has he been home now? I think you guys need to sit down and talk and sell at least the bike, and he needs to tell you where all the money went to out of your account. the ring is beautiful....but it would have been a lot more beautiful a week or two ago before he pulled all this crap. Put it to him bluntly: If he continues spending like this, he will lose his job and could even lose his family...I don't think that is something he really wants to do. I think the time for patience is over..and it's time to knock some sense into him. :hugs

:tu I think that is great advice Jennifer!

:hugehug

Aw Lefty, :hugehug Hang in there, Your in my thoughts always :)

Well, probably a good thing the ring went back to the store then, especially if you weren't sure you were comfortable wearing it. Any word on if the bike's going back?

Rebellious stage? I get that for growing out his hair, but he shouldn't be rebelling from his family! :eek

Well, probably a good thing the ring went back to the store then, especially if you weren't sure you were comfortable wearing it. Any word on if the bike's going back?

Rebellious stage? I get that for growing out his hair, but he shouldn't be rebelling from his family! :eek


He's stuck with the bike.... I say "he" because my name isn't on that loan... He bought it from a guy that got a DUI and no longer has a license. So there's no returning it to him, he doesn't want it back..

He doesn't want to sell it yet, but I have a feeling that the "new" will wear off by spring.. Writing out a check for those $400/month payments all winter when he can't ride it might wear on him a bit.. :shrug

Oh, well... Gawd, it's so ugly too.... :mumble

Ah, then he'll definitely regain his mind by spring. Hehe. Winter with an expensive bike an nowhere to drive it... :evil

The damn thing's ugly too? Kick that guy's ass. It's one thing to buy a 40k bike, but it sure as heck better be pretty!

Ah, then he'll definitely regain his mind by spring. Hehe. Winter with an expensive bike an nowhere to drive it... :evil


Does that make sense??? I'm thinking too, that after 22 months in a desert climate, he won't ride it much if the temp is below 65 degrees...

So that should give him about 4 months of good solid riding weather a year...:lol

Well he tried with the ring. He had some good thought about it, but he kinda missed the whole point of 'buying stuff = debt'. At least it was pretty, I'll give him that.

Has he even ridden the bike since he's had it?! I know he's used the boat quite a few times, but what about the ugly ass bike?! Hopefully when he can't ride it, he'll stare at it and realize what an ugly POS it is and sell it.

I really don't know what to think or say about it anymore. Yeah, he's going through a lot being back after being gone for so long, but he's putting his family through hell for it. I know it's gotta be hard for ya'll as individuals and as a family dealing with all of this. I'm hopeful for you guys and thinking about ya'll. :hugs