Is this statement true to you?
Or do you think that people who've cheated - present or past relationships - can change and turn faithful?

I think if anyone wants to change they can.

Once a cheater always a cheater?

Nope. Not true. I know this firsthand, having been a cheater myself. But not on my husband ;)

I think people can change if they really want to.

:agree I think that it sometimes takes a special person to make u wanna change your ways..and that I think that every girl wants to be that person to change that guy

Definitly not true.

I don't believe it for one second. Comparing how someone will act in one relationship vs. another is like trying to compare apples and oranges. Sure, they're both fruit, but that's pretty much where the similarities end. Now, if you don't have complete trust in the person who you know has cheated in past relationships, it's not gonna work. But lack of trust is a big issue in a lot of relationships.

No, not in my opinion.

I think anyone who wants to change, can. However, I also think that the person who cheats needs to recognize those things that caused them to cheat in the first place and be willing to address them in order to make the change.

In my opinion, the ones that actually change are the exception and not the rule. It wouldn't be worth the risk for me, too many other decent men out there to stay with one who disrespected me to that extreme.

I did cheat and I will never do it again. So nope that statement is BS to me.

In my opinion, the ones that actually change are the exception and not the rule. It wouldn't be worth the risk for me, too many other decent men out there to stay with one who disrespected me to that extreme.

I agree 100%

I think that a cheater CAN change. However, I think it is highly unlikely that a cheater will change their ways within the same relationship.

I think that a cheater CAN change. However, I think it is highly unlikely that a cheater will change their ways within the same relationship.

I have to agree with this :yes Clearly if cheating was done, something isn't working.

I believe everyone can change. Sometimes the nature of a situation or the relationship causes a person to cheat b/c they are not happy. Some people, YES, are habitual cheaters and they are chemically in balanced and need help.

Overall, I think each situation is different and everyone is worthy of changing.

I have to agree with this :yes Clearly if cheating was done, something isn't working.

I agree...I don't think I could stay if either DH or I cheated.. but in a different relationship, that's another matter.. I believe that there has to be something lacking within in the person and their current relationship for them to stray.. And that doesn't necessarily mean they will stray in future relationships.

I have to agree with this :yes Clearly if cheating was done, something isn't working.

Yes that true but sometimes things can change and work out for the better. Just b/c I cheated on matt doesn't mean that we couldn't get past it and that we couldn't become a stronger couple then before...kwim.

People change only if they want to. You can not force someone to change.

Yes that true but sometimes things can change and work out for the better. Just b/c I cheated on matt doesn't mean that we couldn't get past it and that we couldn't become a stronger couple then before...kwim.

I do see what you mean - sometimes it's a great indicator that something isn't right, which can prompt positive change in the relationship, but both parties have to agree that it's worth salvaging. In the case that I cheated, it wasn't worth salvaging to me, because I wasn't happy. I didn't want to fix it, so we didn't. It sucked...I should have just broked up with him. Lesson learned :lol

Yes I think people can change if they want to, male or female. I've known several people who have cheated on their spouses, stayed, worked through it & became much closer. Granted it doesn't always work that way but it can.

Once a cheater always a cheater?

Nope. Not true. I know this firsthand, having been a cheater myself. But not on my husband ;)

Same here.

This statement, like any statement, is hard to say yes or no. It depends on the person. Not the cheating itself.

Take a former smoker. Do you think once a smoker always a smoker? People who have smoked for years and years quit and never go back. True you do have those that quit and do go back as well.

A former drinker. Same same. Yes they can change and become sober. And then there are those who do not.

Cheating is along those same lines. CAN they change? Yes certaintly. Can they not change? Of course. It will all depend on the person, if they truly want to change and the like. It can go either way. Just like a former smoker, former drinker, or former anything. Many can change their ways and not cheat again and many can keep on cheating.

I think that a cheater CAN change. However, I think it is highly unlikely that a cheater will change their ways within the same relationship.

And I agree with that statement too. :tu

nope, people CAN change.

DH and I were discussing this the other night-

he says yes- once a cheater always a cheater

I say no- BUT they will continue to cheat in the same relationship- maybe infrequent but they will continue the pattern
but once out of that relationship they may not- I think there are a few that fit the bill once a cheater always a cheater- but the majority don't

I think they can change, but they first have to learn to overcome what caused them to cheat. And they really have to learn to talk (with the one that matters) instead of act (with the one that doesn't).

I think people cheat becuause they are not content with who they are with at that moment. I think things can change in a relationship (evan as simple as just growing up) that can make you more committed to each other and there fore not even want to cheat.(from personal experience)

BUT I also know a creep who cheats all the time on his wife and I dont think it would matter who he was married to that he is addicted to sex from as many woman as possible...and the sad thing is his wife has said to me she doesnt think he would ever cheat on her. So it really depends on the persons personality and who they are...but no I wont say that once a cheater always a cheater fits for everyone but for some yes.

i agree with the statement. My dad cheated on my mom when they were dating...just married and then agian 20 yrs later. Now I will say my mom is a fool for staying but some are not as strong as others!

True, it is different for everyone - situation to situation.

My husband and I were both dating when we met - we both carried on that way for a little while until we realized just how serious we were about eachother.

Neither of us would do it to eachother, though, that's for certain.

People change only if they want to. You can not force someone to change.

:yes:yes

People change only if they want to. You can not force someone to change.

:agree

Yes, people that have cheated can change. Will they? No, not everyone will. But that doesn't mean that they can't.

:agree I think that it sometimes takes a special person to make u wanna change your ways..and that I think that every girl wants to be that person to change that guy

that is exactly what i think

I think if anyone wants to change they can.

I agree :yes

No I don't think once a cheater always a cheater. I think things happen and people can change.

It really depends on the person and how much work they put into changing or not.


My ex is a different story :loser

Ahh.... the "debate" of the year :giggle

I think we have this debate at least once a year :D

Yes, I think people can change their ways. I also believe that there are always factors behind someone cheating. Not saying it is :quote OK :quote but shit happens.

For Example: DH and I were engaged. I was having a rough time, I got seriously wasted, past obliterated, with some so called "friends". DF (at the time) and I were stationed apart, and I made a mistake. A mistake I owned up to. Something I never would've done sober or just after a few drinks. My DH forgave me for my indiscretion. That shows the kind of man he is.

I could NEVER imagine being with another man for the rest of my life. Do I even remember being with the other man? No. But I own up to my actions. I shouldn't have even been there and put myself in that situation.

So no, I do not believe once a cheater always a cheater, at least when it comes to me.

For my dad, who is a womanizer... he will NEVER change his ways :dunno He even teaches his sons to be cheaters.

Told my husband that he is a "man" and he has "needs" and I should respect and understand those "needs" if he fills them elsewhere. :rolleyes And if I don't, just call him to "deal with me". DH thinks my Dad is :screwy

I define the phrase "once a cheater always a cheater" differently than once someone cheats they will always cheat. For me, it means that once someone cheats on ME, they will always be a cheater in my eyes. If Adam cheated on me, even if we decided to stay together and work it out and he never cheated again, he can never take back what he did and he will always be a cheater because he can never say he never cheated on me again. I totally think that people can cheat and go on to never cheat again, whether it's on the person they cheated on or someone else. I totally agree with Becca when she sid that cheating can be an indicator of something wrong in a relationship. People cheat for a LOT of reasons, not just because they are bad people.

can they change sure. but IN GENERAL do i think that they change...no. if they want to change they can but most don't , most want their cake and eat it too

I think it depends a little on what happens- simple behavioural patterns. If there are no bad repercussions then they're more likely to do it again. Also if they are part of a crowd who think its cool, or who all cheat then its hard to imagine they won't do it again. I've had a string of married business men hit on me on flights recently - they are not at all concerned, they act like I'm the idiot for being offended.

It honestly depends on the person. They can't take back what they did, but they can control what they do from that moment on.

I had someone cheat on me, and in his case he NEVER changed. He's still a cheating asshole.

In My Experience...YES its true. The past 4 boyfriends I have been with have cheated more than once. I know for a FACT DB would never cheat on me.

i have cheated in a past relationship, but would never cheat on DF...so i'm voting no...that statement might be true for that relationship, but it doesn't mean it will be for all future relationships

i think people can stop cheating and be faithful again

but they have to want to stop and want to be work on why they cheated in the first place

at the same time though i don't think anyone should have to be cheated on multiple times...fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me...type thing

it's not a true statement. I was once a cheater and wouldn't ever do it again. My husband well, we all know that story unfortunately but he is completely about ME now.. Some know all to well how he feels about cheating. Anyhow, it takes alot of trusting and commitment to not cheat.. To me, I think loving someone is all about sacrifice so it's just about what you will sacrifice to have a life with that other person ya know..

i've learned, through personal experience, that this tends to be true.