So my boy has been deployed for about a month now...things have been going well thus far. He emails me and he has called twice saying how he just wanted to hear my voice and that he missed me. Now I know that he's a very reserved person when it comes to feelings but up until last night, I truly felt he was expressing himself to me. So last night, we were talking online and things seemed to be going ok. He talks about coming to stay with me for his 2 weeks of R&R in January and about our future and this and that. Then in the middle of the conversation his boss called him and he had to go to a meeting. In the mean time some of his guys decided to go under his screen name and talk to me. First started out with "we've never seen him like this! what have you done to him? I've never heard him talk about a girl like he talks about you! He's talking about you non stop and is talking about moving to be where you are when he is done with his deployment in june" Apparently that's not like him according to these guys. They've never heard him talk about a girl like this, never heard him say that he "has a girl" etc. Then later in the conversation this guy says "dont get hurt. he seems to be able to drop people like nothing, i have seen stuff come out in him out here that people should not be able to ignore, yea well he will get back to his old self, and i just want you to know he will always put us first, so dont think your going to lock him down. we will always be first not just for the next 10 months. whenever we need anythign he has always been there for me the most, he acts like a jerk head but his actions show we will always be first. it dont matter though, we all dont think you will be able to make it through the next 9 months" In the end this guy told me not to tell my boy that we talked and then I talked to the boy for a bit longer and he seemed a little distant and starting saying how he doesn't think we can make it through this deployment. He doesn't think I can do it since women are hateful and only set out to destroy men. In the end I went to be in tears and so confused...

Okay, first things first. E-mail your boy and tell him to log his ass out of his accounts when he has to leave the computer!

Second, how do you know that he ever came back online? That it wasn't just his friends being jerks or playing a prank on you for that last part of the conversation?

I would also take what his friends said with a grain of salt. They sound like they're a little worried that you might take him away from them (which, of course, it's not a one or the other thing... he'll still be their friend even if he's living with you!). Either way, if they're worried/jealous, it would give them cause to say questionable things to stir up trouble between the two of you. (Not that they should, just saying that that might be what they'd do.)

If you're confused on who said what, or what they said to him to get him saying not so nice stuff to you - try to e-mail him or something where you're sure it'll be him replying, and ask what's up. Honesty and communication can only be good things in this case. You don't want to spend nine months wondering what's really going on!

Also, I'm a little curious... How's he just gonna move to be with you? Is he reserves or something?

those guys are being stupid immature jealous morons. now, i'm not following your post though....did you talk to your db after you talked to his friends? when you said "the boy" i wasn't sure if you meant your boy or his friends. well, i hope he isn't listening to those idiots. :rolleyes stay strong.

Also, I'm a little curious... How's he just gonna move to be with you? Is he reserves or something?

When he comes back next spring he's done with active duty and I dont think he's going to join the reserves since he told me at this point he's done after this!!!

those guys are being stupid immature jealous morons. now, i'm not following your post though....did you talk to your db after you talked to his friends? when you said "the boy" i wasn't sure if you meant your boy or his friends. well, i hope he isn't listening to those idiots. :rolleyes stay strong.

sorry- i did end up talking to him in the end and he started talking about us not making it through this deployment and that women are hateful and such....it was all so crazy!! In the end though, he ended with his usual "i miss you, the hugging smiley face and how much he cant wait to be back with me"

Sometimes I swear guys PMS too!!!

Guys like to try to cause trouble for their buddies. They think it's hilarious, but in reality they don't know crap, and are full of crap. Don't listen to them. Take it from someone who has made it through many deployments, short and long. I've seen more women stay faithful and committed than not. Just because they all date bitches that screw up doesn't mean you are like all the girls they have. They don't know you, so don't listen to their stupidity.