What are some of the things to say/not say after your SO comes home from a war zone? Any insight? Things to do, not do? Tips, pointers, and advice? Thanks, Figured this could help out a few people! (L)

Sudden unexpected moves are bad - not the normal ones, but like in the middle of the night if you jump up and grab him - that's not good, lol.

These could be stressful times even if it seems nothings wrong. Some extra patience, and a little space here and there will do wonders for helping you both readjust.

Always say what you feel. There is no need to hold back. However, when you have something bad to say, don't be yelling and fussing or threatening in any way.

Good luck.

I really just try to let him adjust to being around civilians again at his own pace. He does seem jumpy right when he gets back, sometimes he forgets he isn't talking to his soldiers and last time he was in a Bradley and I learned pretty quickly to not let him drive! If I felt like he was being too loud or harsh when he was speaking I would just calmly remind him who I was and that I didn't need to be talked to like one of his soldiers and honestly he didn't even know he was doing it. It's such a big adjustment for them, just try to keep things as stress free as possible and don't put too many big decisions on them first thing.

thanks for posting this tiff!! :) it is very helpful, i was wondering the same things!! im gonna keep my eye on this thread

:blush I thought we could use this :) I just dont want to make any grave mistakes. I know it wont be perfect, but maybe with a little insight from those who have BTDT it can be smoother.

Very helpful post! Thanks!!

Good thread. I read somewhere on the site that sleeping with them can be difficult because they often lash out in their sleep.

Good thread. I read somewhere on the site that sleeping with them can be difficult because they often lash out in their sleep.
Im curious of that too. :dunno If DF is lashing around, or uncomfortable, ill go sleep on the couch, I guess. I want him to be Ok, even if it means I sleep out in the other room :)

What are some of the things to say/not say after your SO comes home from a war zone? Any insight? Things to do, not do? Tips, pointers, and advice? Thanks, Figured this could help out a few people! (L)

'act normal' --> if that makes sense? my b/f carried on like he had just come home from any old place, not a war zone. but that's him. it'll vary depending on the person. if he wants to open up, have a good set of ears. if he doesn't, don't pry. if he's quiet, don't constantly ask him what's wrong. it's ok for him to be quiet. and you'll be good. :thumbsup

I really just try to let him adjust to being around civilians again at his own pace. He does seem jumpy right when he gets back, sometimes he forgets he isn't talking to his soldiers and last time he was in a Bradley and I learned pretty quickly to not let him drive! If I felt like he was being too loud or harsh when he was speaking I would just calmly remind him who I was and that I didn't need to be talked to like one of his soldiers and honestly he didn't even know he was doing it. It's such a big adjustment for them, just try to keep things as stress free as possible and don't put too many big decisions on them first thing.

:lol:lol:lol so this is why my b/f drives like a jackass

:lol:lol:lol so this is why my b/f drives like a jackass

:hehe He had total road rage and I seriously thought he was on the verge of playing bumper cars... and he would swerve to dodge anything in the road because that's what they had to do over there. He eventually got over it but it was really bad for awhile...:giggle

My dh has a hard time with thunder and fireworks.

Great post idea! And thanks ladies for the advice.

I know this may sound totally obvious, but my DB is currently en route home from Afghanistan and he was told to take time to be by himself when he needs to. So I think I'm going to have to try not to feel snuffed when he does need time!