In a discussion elsewhere this came up.


The idea that you 'owe' your parents and your family (brothers, sisters, etc) to be honest about your life to them, include them in your life to some degree, and to have concern for them regardless of how your upbringing was with them.



I'll reply with my views.

I think I owe my Mom alot more thank you's. But no money or anything, she wouldnt take it. She knows enough about my life, I dont honestly think she would wanna know all the details. Theres a thin line I keep with her and dont cross, stuff she just doesnt need to know. I think im answering this right, if not correct me. :)

I would say "owe" persay.. I don't feel like I owe it to any of them, I only talk to my sister and just in my nature to tell her everything because we are very close.. Me and my mother don't talk, never met my father, and my brother is a walking wacko like my mom.. So.. I am very open with my sister and tell her everything..

No, I don't feel I "owe" my family anything. I had a great childhood and I am thankful for that but I don't feel I have to include them in every aspect of my life.

No. I don't owe them anything.

I don't feel like i owe my family anything.
The occasional phone call and 'how's everything going' should suffice - Vacations and visits out to see them shouldn't be required for them to know I care - and neither should Xmas cards and frequent e-mails.

And, just because one of my sister's moved back down this way doesn't mean I owe her any special visits, either.

My family doesn't need to know my political, religious, or moral views. Nor do they need to understand our parenting tactics and reasons for decisions.

*edit*
I definately don't owe them my life, either ... (Owen wilson's suicide attempt is what brought this subject up) ... if I'm unhappy with my life and get into drugs, or become suicidal, I shouldn't be expect to live because they're alive. They shouldn't try to live through my life - the same way that I would never try to live through theirs.

I have no problem choosing to share, etc - at my discretion - but do not feel I (or anyone) "owe" it.

I owe my family thanks for stepping up to the plate emotionally for my children after thier father died but other than that I do not feel I owe my family anything.

Hmmm...how to say it.

Are you asking if I feel obligated to them because they are my "family"?

My mom and I have a phenomenal relationship, so I don't think the question really applies to us. On the other hand, my father left alot to be desired, STILL does. The man doesn't take care of himself, doesn't care how much of his granddaughters life he lives to see, and spends every waking hour of the day bitching about something or other - usually mexicans or homosexuals. I've said before that if we weren't related we wouldn't even be friends. Sometimes I actually pity him - though I'm not sure why - I think it's because he's my father and I know that he could do so much better for himself. That's a really good question. I guess I feel like I do "owe" him - though that's a helluva way to put it. I only talk to him because he's my father. I only send him birthday cards because he'd be pissed if I didn't. He's got a wakeup call coming though when we get back to the west coast, because he's not going to be seeing much of us if all he does is sit on his butt and eat pizza, making ignorant comments about other human beings. So - to an extent, yes I owe him - but not to the detriment of my OWN children.

I just totally rambled. Did it make ANY sense at all?

I don't owe them anything, but I love and respect them so much that I want them involved in my life.

I think the word "owe" is a bit harsh. I believe that you should be respectful and honoring to your parents and family. There are some you just can't be that way with though. I think common courtesy needs to be addressed.

I have a close relationship with my mom and talk to her every day. I think that is a bit much for some but it is my way of honoring her. Keeping her upto date in our lives. I belive in this day and time, even if you don't get along with your parents, a e-mail just telling them hi and this is what goes on is a good idea.

I don't owe them anything, but I love and respect them so much that I want them involved in my life.

:yes I have nothing more to add because you described it perfectly :)

I owe my mom EVERYTHING. That women has stood by me time and time again. She was there when I found out I was preggo my senior year. She helped me raise my daughter till I got married. She was there to put a roof over my head, feed and clothe me and my kids when I got my divorce, she stood by me during custody battles, seperations, divorce, etc. She still to this day has stood by me and is constantly there for me and my family. So yes I owe her everything and then some. I include her in every bit of my life and the thought of not including her, buying things like new brakes engine rebuild etc is not even a second thought.

No, I don't feel I "owe" my family anything. I had a great childhood and I am thankful for that but I don't feel I have to include them in every aspect of my life.

I agree.

No, I don't feel I "owe" my family anything. I had a great childhood and I am thankful for that but I don't feel I have to include them in every aspect of my life.

Same here for the most part!

Well, I don't think my parents ever did anything for me with the expectation I would "owe" them so I am going to say no.