*usually when I have issues with my son and i ask for help someone gets offended over my references to our son's disability ... I'll just note that I'm not trying to insult my son, i'm just being mater-of-fact in efforts to figure out how to deal with this situation before it continues on for too long.*

I never know what to do about our oldest son. He has a bit of a learning disorder and is often slow at making decisions.

But my husband wanted him to have a chance at an organized sport with kids his age...We're in week two of practice and already he's having a lot of problems - he gets mentally 'choked up' and can't think quick to react on the field and is being tackled easily.
He's just not getting it and it's frustrating him - he wants to play, but is having a hard time just keeping up with the guys during practice.

My husband and I need to make a decision about this before they get real deep into the season - so what we decided to do is let him go to two more practices and see if his abilities improve - and work with himj at home as well ... and if he's still struggling and there's just an obvious disadvantage we're going to take him off the team.

If we do that, though - that's going to break his heart and his spirit.

So what are our other options? How can we find something like this that he CAN do and do well without breaking him down every time the team meets?

I'm thinking over the possibility of getting him onto a league just below his age (since age is what they're going by - not abilities or size)... what do you think?

Any suggestions, help?

Prayers would be great - when it comes to him and his problems sometimes I just have no idea what to do.

Does it have to be football? Does it have to be team sports? Maybe he could find another sport that suits his abilities more. My cousin was really into golf at a young age. Not that exciting, but he had an awesome time with it. Is he playing offense in football? If he is, maybe he can switch to defense and be the one who does the tackling and it would be easier on him?

I don't know your sons abilities, but I have a sister with some learning disabilities and it just comes down to finding things that use her strengths more than her weaknesses. She is better at individual activities, and would just do them with a group of other people so that she still got the interaction without the pressure.

Swimming or golf would be my recommendations... good luck!

My suggestion is maybe it doesn't have to be a sport at all...maybe it can be some kind of club of some sort.

I really don't have an experience with children with learning disabilities, so I'm not sure how much help I can be.

Well - we picked football because the opportunity came up first.
We'll let him try basketball when that gets going if football doesn't work out for him.

Tonight his practice was cancelled due to rain - and he's just frazzled and a mess, I think he needs some sleep...

Since we got home he's cried to me about his practice being cancelled, that he needs to do his homework, his skittles didn't cheer him up, his sister is talking to him, his room's a mess, and the cats are outside meowing...and it's raining.

I think he's had a mental overload and is on the verge of a breakdown. :duh Sometimes I wish he could just make his thoughts stop, just so he can regain himself and relax a bit time to time. :unlove I hate seeing him frazzled like this 'cause it's a booboo I can't fix.

I have a LD when I was young it made me very clumsy I had OT at school once a week to help me get a bit more coordinated. I would of hated being in a sport like football because on the one hand I would love playing and on the other I would of been the worst player on the team. I also would of known that, or caught onto it eventually and it gets a person down.

I played league bowling for one league it would of been ok expect for one of my team mates HATED how unskilled and coordinated I was. He took something I enjoyed despite being not so hot at it and made it a misery to go. By the end of the league I went from loving bowling to hating bowling. Kids are mean.

I suggest finding a club, hobby, or individual sport. such as golf, swimming, or tennis. Google and see if you can find organized sports/activities that may be for LD children. You could contact your schools LD team and see if they have any recommendations for you.

Thanks, all ... I'll research alternatives and see what we can come up with...He needs a social group to hang with - perhaps cub scouts would be good for him, something like that.

If there was just a team that got together and played for fun more than win/lose sport then he wouldn't be under such pressure and he'd be able to just have a good time - he loves football.

Well the big thing is.. what does HE want to do? If he really wants to play football then I don't think you should pull him out.. he might not be as good but he might get better as time goes on, it might just take him longer like everything else does. Maybe you could try to encourage him to do things that he is a little more suited for, but I really think you should have a talk with him about what he wants to do and what would make him happy. I think it's unfair to pull him out if it isn't what he wants.

Good point - This is his first go at an organized sport, so I really don't think he has an idea of what he prefers over another - we've always encouraged them to play all types of games at the house, and he's never really favored one over the other - he just likes to play.

True, if he really wants to then maybe we should let him make that choice and just give him support and encouragement...If he doesn't like it in the end then there we go.

He's our oldest, and he's a bit different, so everything with him is completely new when we get to it - and we're always lost and stuck. I guess I've been use to making decisions for him...maybe i need ot try to step out a bit more.
He's so attached, though - always seeking our approval and asking us what we want him to do and so on, but maybe that's because I haven't forced him to decide things for himself more.

Good point - This is his first go at an organized sport, so I really don't think he has an idea of what he prefers over another - we've always encouraged them to play all types of games at the house, and he's never really favored one over the other - he just likes to play.

True, if he really wants to then maybe we should let him make that choice and just give him support and encouragement...If he doesn't like it in the end then there we go.

He's our oldest, and he's a bit different, so everything with him is completely new when we get to it - and we're always lost and stuck. I guess I've been use to making decisions for him...maybe i need ot try to step out a bit more.
He's so attached, though - always seeking our approval and asking us what we want him to do and so on, but maybe that's because I haven't forced him to decide things for himself more.


How old is he?

I definitely think if he isn't really young then you should leave it up to him so can really see how he feels about it :)

Honestly, I would try to involve him in a club(boyscouts or chess or something) and an actual sport, but a low impact type of one(like golf or swimming). Then at that point, he could decide if he would rather do a sport, or just be in a club. With the sports like golf or swimming, it's more of a self improvement type of sport, rather then a super competitive sport. That would be my best suggestion

I would suggest if you don't want him to continue with football to try soccer. It's wonderful for coordination, easy to learn - and you don't get tackled.

I know lots of people in high school had LD and were on the cross country and track teams... Running doesn't take much coordination (at least I don't think so).

Given this is his first encounter with football, I think that the problems you are facing in these first weeks are normal. However, you also have to consider the severity of his problems. Is he speaking from a personal evaluation of skills? He could be hard on himself and making a big deal out of something minor. Have you had the opportunity to observe him at practice? Or speak to his coach? That would give you best idea of how he is doing in relation to the other players. You also have to take into consideration the amount of experience other players have, their positions, and their general athletic abilities.

If he still wants to continue learning how to play football, you should definitely encourage him. Talk to his coach to see what exercises/drills/conditioning your son can do outside of practice. He may suggest even watching football games, but by paying close attention to how the game is run, he will see the rules in action.

Is this for a school football team? JV or varsity? You could also consider a recreational league.

Take him off the team as a last last last last resort. It will really hurt his self esteem and confidence. If he wants to willingly quit, fine. But if he is frustrated but wants to keep with it, communicate with the coach. If it's a good coach, he will want to work with you and your son to keep him on the team. It's hard to find a good coach like that, but they are out there!

Have him try out other team sports -- soccer, basketball, baseball, swim team. You don't know what you're good at until you try out a couple of things.


I'm thinking over the possibility of getting him onto a league just below his age (since age is what they're going by - not abilities or size)... what do you think?

You would have to find out what the rules are for this, but that could be an option. How would he feel about playing with kids younger than him though?

It sounds like he is under a lot of stress with the start of school and undertaking a new, challenging sport. A clean room is always a good starting point in these kind of situations. Gotta clear up the clutter around you before you can think straight!

Sometimes I wish he could just make his thoughts stop, just so he can regain himself and relax a bit time to time.

When I was younger, my mom would always suggest we walk the dog around the neighborhood. That always helped. Or when I was really young we would go for a drive and get a car wash. :lol

He needs a social group to hang with - perhaps cub scouts would be good for him, something like that.


:thumbsup Excellent option. Make sure you do your homework, see what's available in your area. There may be a troop that accommodates children with similar diagnoses.

If the team sport thing doesn't work out for him, there are plenty of other more independent options. Bike riding, gymnastics, horseback riding, etc.

Actually I volunteered with a therapeutic horseback riding program. We saw people of all ages with a wide range of disabilities. Some more severe than others. If someone like your son were to come for a lesson, the instructor would be able to give him the individual attention he needs, and would work at a pace appropriate for him. If he is afraid or wants the added security of people leading the horse or staying by his side, they do that too. I have seen some kids completely changed my horseback riding. It is very enjoyable and it really builds their confidence. It has always had the same effect on me :)