I put this here because it could get nasty :P

Dh and I agree that we want to adopt at some point. I'm having a hard time deciding if I want an American or international adoption. What are your thoughts?

Americans already have many opportunities. But there are so many children already in America that need a good home.

Most other countries do not give the chances we do here. For the most part those children’s lives are already over.

So, I guess my question boils down to do you help your own or give someone else the chance they wouldn’t otherwise have?

The cost for either is about the same as far as I can tell.

Personally I would do an international adoption, I have heard many good things about it. If there was a chance for me to adopt an american child I would do that too!! I love kids!

I feel that we all our humans, so helping your own is helping anyone. I don't know where you are thinking about adopting from, but I lived in Africa, england, and Japan and all of our hearts beat the same and a lot of the children I worked with could really use a loving home. If it is a question of who would be at more of a risk if they were not adopted, I would say adopt internationally from an impoverished country because those children often have less of a chance at everything. No matter what you decide, you are doing a wonderful thing and giving a child a chance at a decent life:)

I've talked with DH about adopting. We are open to the idea should we decide that we would want more children. My husband's Aunt has adopted both her kids from Korea.

Personally, I would rather adopt in America. I would also "prefer" to adopt a child who is of my same race. For whatever reason, I'm not comfortable with adopting a child who doesn't look atleast somewhat like us. I feel really bad saying that, but it is how I feel.

I want a multi-racial child if its American. And I think we want siblings so that they can stay together. I really just want to make someones life better, I want to take care of a child no one wants :(

i say go with what you want to do, you're helping a child either way. i know some people who adopted sisters from russia and my sister was adopted from a teenage mother.

I will probably adopt where the child is from doesn't matter to me, a child is a child and if I can give them a good home I will. My parents adopted one of my older brothers and my older sister, we were able to give them a better home then they had.

I think it's more a matter of personal choice - there are kids all around the world who need help. Whether you adopt a child from the US or elsewhere, you're still helping that child.

On a personal note, if I were to adopt, I'd probably adopt an orphan from Sri Lanka.

It's gonna boil down to personal preference. I reasearched alot about adoption before Ethan came along. International adoption is usually a bit easier and a bit less expensive then adopting here in the states. Thats 1 reason why international adoption is so popular. Some countries require you have to go there for 2 or more visits prior to picking up the child. Others do not.

If you want to adopt here in the states and have no issues with costs then do so. You are right that yes we do have many oppurtunitys here but there are MANY children waiting to be adopted. Some who never get adopted and live their lives in foster homes or what not. If you want to adopt internationally then do so. Yes we have more oppurtunitys then they do but they are more likely to be adopted due to the cost and paperwork etc being a bit easier then in the states....Either way you are helping a child which is great. Do what feels best in your heart.

Adoption is a topic that is very near and dear to me as my sister is adopted (domestic through fostering). As previously mentioned, international adoptions are usually cheaper, quicker, and somewhat easier. However, there are lots of children in the US looking for love. If you are looking for younger children, then international is easier as the wait for kids under 5 in the US can be very long. Older kids, special needs kids, and sibling sets are much easier to get but can also present many special "issues". Sibling sets can often be so used to depending on each other and no-one else that they will not let you in to "their world" for quite a while (my sis was originally to be adopted with her bio-brother so I have seen this first hand). International adoptions of older children present language issues. I think it is a wonderful thing you are choosing to do but no-one can tell you which is the better route for you. You must carefully weigh the pros and cons of both routes.

well i would be all for adoption as well as i and my sister where both adopted different natural parents of course. but i would highly recommend it and i think its a wonderful thing you want to do April and I commend you for that. I am very very thankful that I was adopted because who knows where i would have ended up and i may not even be here now having the wonderful family i have now. good luck to you sweetie.

I know its a personal choice but I cant make that choice yet. I'm hoping someone will say just the right thing to make me go "oh well that settles it then" :D

Adopting a child from another country is an alternative method in forming a family. However, a domestic adoption is often the preferred choice for parents.


Domestic adoption allows parents to adopt a newborn or infant. Usually, Adoptive Parent(s) want to form a loving bond with their child from the start and know everything about their baby from day one. In International adoptions, parents are rarely able to adopt a child younger than six to 18 months old.


Domestic adoption is an affordable adoption plan with predictable costs. International adoptions are often accompanied with considerable bureaucratic delays, which may potentially add to your administrative costs, travel expenses and time away from work.


Domestic adoption offers dependable and correct medical information about the Birthmother and the child being adopted. Details about the medical condition of a child is often not available to Adoptive Parent(s) in International adoptions. Children of International adoption often have undisclosed physical and psychological issues that may adversely affect their well-being and present challenges to a parent. Often the psychological issues metastasize due to the prolonged period of time that child is waiting to be placed in his/her adoptive home.


Domestic adoption offers thorough medical, cultural and biological background information that Adoptive Parent(s) may need for medical purposes or to reply to questions a child may later pose. A child adopted from another country may need vital medical background of his/her biological parents, or yearn for unavailable information about his/her heritage and general cultural information.


Domestic adoption offers comparatively uncomplicated adoption process with a reputable entity. International adoption can often be a difficult chore in working with foreign government bureaucrats often speaking a foreign language.

For these reasons, more Adoptive Parent(s) choose to adopt infants born in the United States over any other country.

http://adoptionnetwork.com/adoptiveparents/domestic-adoption-benefits.shtml

http://www.americanadoptions.com/adopt/domestic_international

The most common question in adoption is "Do I adopt internationally or domestically." Whether you choose to adopt internationally or domestically depends on what circumstances you feel comfortable with. You should keep in mind that domestic agencies will try to illustrate the positives of domestic adoptions while international programs will do the same. The main difference is most people prefer to adopt domestically. In order for international programs to encourage clients to travel overseas, they often stir myths and fears about domestic adoptions. Because more families choose domestic adoptions, domestic adoption programs do not need to highlight the issues with international adoptions. The reality is there are potential challenges with both domestic and international adoptions.

Types of children Available through Adoption:
Domestic Adoption - Typically newborns or infants.
International Adoption - Typically older children. (2 years on up)



Health of children:

Domestic Adoption - Healthy with medical records typically available before and after birth. Families are often able to visit with the doctor(s) at the hospital.

International Adoption - Medical records are scarce. Alcoholism and drug exposure is most likely. Issues often develop from neglect and abuse from their parents and emotional detachment issues are common because orphanages do not have the staff to care for their children.


Risk of adoption not working out

Domestic Adoption - Birth mothers can change their mind until they sign the legal paperwork. Each state varies on their time frames a birth mother can sign her paperwork, however most states allow the birth mother to sign 48-72 hours after the baby is born. From that point, in most states, the birth mother cannot change her mind.

International Adoption - Countries can and do shut down all adoptions in their country. This means any adoptions in the process are stopped. You also could be interested in adopting a certain child and it is not uncommon for the orphanage to promise this child to several agencies. The orphanages goal is to place the children as soon as possible.


Travel

Domestic Adoption - One spouse will have to travel to whichever state the child is born in. Families will have to stay 3-10 days in the state for the court processes and state paperwork (ICPC) that must be filed.
International Adoption - Both spouses will have to travel to whichever country the child is located. Families will have to stay an average of 3-4 weeks for processing in the foreign country. Length of stay will vary depending on the country chosen. In some countries, families are required to travel twice.



Main differences:

Adoptive families are traveling overseas and typically adopting older children. The process is more burdened with paperwork and red tape and is fraught with delays and poor medical information. Adoptive families are emotionally drawn to videotapes of waiting children. Exciting from the adorable children captured on videotape, most families dispose of logic and allow their hearts to make the international decision.

In the following sections, we discuss some of the risks associated with both domestic and international adoptions. The reality is whether you adopt internationally or domestically most families are able to adopt healthy babies (domestically) and healthy children (internationally).

However, it is important to understand the negatives or risks of domestic and international programs. You will not learn of the risks from the international or domestic program you are considering joining. In this respect, adoption is no different than other product or service. For example, if the automobile you wanted to buy scored the worst in crash tests, the car company or any dealership trying to sell this car would not promote this fact to potential consumers.

Most domestic and international programs are sharing the positives experiences the majority of their clients enjoy. Like the car companies, what they are not sharing is the risks should a problem occur (or crash occur). It is important to understand the risks so you can decide whether domestic or international adoptions is best for you.

Below are things to consider before adopting internationally:

Medical information is sparse and often non-existent.
Countries of the child's origin have severe drug/alcohol abuse.
Children from overseas orphanages often exhibit attachment/emotional problems.
Major mental/developmental problems resulting from poor nutrition.
Travel is unpredictable
American citizens are not well received in many countries.
Language barriers lead to communication failures, delays, and frustration.
Significant and unpredictable delays in foreign countries.
Countries arbitrarily shut down their adoption programs.
Extended stays in foreign countries disrupt jobs.

Unless one spouse is over 50 or a prospective adoptive family wishes to adopt an older child, domestic adoptions are usually a better option. Adopting internationally is risky regarding the child's past nutritional and health history. It also carries unpredictable risks associated with a child's future mental and emotional development. Medical information is either unavailable, lost, or unreliable due to medical and health problems associated with older children in foreign countries. Orphanages realize families are less likely to adopt children with a history of medical, emotionally, or physical illnesses. Most children have severe attachment problems, as most are simply placed in a crib 20-24 hours a day, this includes two and three year olds. On average, 30 children are watched by only care worker. Imagine the worst day care in America and you have the best orphanage in a foreign country.

The Post Institutionalized Child Network warns, "Those who intend to adopt children from institutions in Eastern Europe should prepare for the possibility of providing long term therapies for their children." Most children over seas tend to exhibit symptoms of Attachment Disorder because of sensory and nutritional deprivation while in the orphanage. Attachment Disorder symptoms include destruction to self or others, learning problems, fire setting, and cruelty to siblings, animals, and others. They can exhibit poor or underdeveloped conscience, lying, and fascination with weapons, blood, or gore. CNN reported, "These institutions are both contaminated in the sense of health problems and sterile in the sense of emotional attachment." They went on to report from Dr. Ronal Federici at the Children's Hospital in Washington "There are high risk factors that affect a developing brain. Nutrition being one of the most important, deprivation, social deprivation, isolation, and other types of hazards can affect brain chemistry and development of proper brain cells and brain function."

Below are things to consider before adopting domestically:
Birth mothers do change their minds before signing the legal paperwork.
Birth fathers are rarely involved in the adoption and therefore birth father medical background is scarce.
Families advertising on their own should be prepared for increased financial risk with little return.
Birth mothers select the adoptive family so families must provide photos and general non-identifying information.
Depending on the adoption organization selected, waiting times vary more than international adoptions.
While drug and alcohol exposure are lower domestically, 65% of all birth mothers smoke during their pregnancy.
Domestic adoptions do have their downfalls because the process can be disappointing. Most families will talk with birth mothers that at some point during their pregnancy decide against adoption. You could be working with the birth mother for two days or three months. Obviously, the disappointment grows the longer you have worked with a birth mother. The myth however that a domestic child can be taken out of your arms at any time is untrue.

In most states, the legal documents a birth mother signs, which typically occurs 48-72 hours after the baby is born, are irrevocable once signed. In simple terms, in most states, once she signs the paperwork she cannot simply change her mind. However, she can go through a court process and try to prove she was forced into the decision but in over 75,000 adoptions in the last ten years, we know of no cases where the birth mother prevailed.

A more common risk centers around birth fathers. About 1 out of every 100 adoptions, you will have a birth father attempt to assert his parental rights. The birth father issues are often known early in the adoption process so families can decide if they wish to proceed with such a risk. However, there are cases were the birth father's feelings about adoption are unknown until after the baby is placed with the adoptive family. Even when a birth father is against the adoption, few will hire an attorney in efforts to stop the adoption. For the ones that do hire an attorney few birth fathers prevail. With all that being said, in over 75,000 adoptions there are only a few cases whereby a birth father won.

Cost comparison of Domestic Adoption versus International Adoption

FEES CHINA ADOPTION RUSSIAN ADOPTION DOMESTIC ADOPTION
Application fee $300 $300 $300
Home study fee $1,200 $1,200 $1,000
Advertising fee N/A N/A $5,000-8,000
Agency fee $7,000-$9,000 $8,550-$10,000 $5,000-$10,000
Legal fees $0-$3,000 $0-$3,000 $3,000-$7,000
INS and paperwork charges $1,800-$2,500 $1,500-$2,000 N/A
Orphanage Donation $3,000-$6,000 N/A N/A
Adoption Processing expenses $1,500-$2,000 $600-$1,000 N/A
Foreign source fee N/A $10,500-$15,000 N/A
Visas $435-$600 $1,330 N/A
Travel expenses $4,800-$8,000 $9,000-$11,000 0-$1,000
Foster care N/A N/A 0-$200
Medical N/A N/A 0-$10,000 *
Living expenses N/A N/A 0-$5,000 **
Total range of adoption expenses $20,035-$32,600 $32,980-$44,830 $14,300-$42,500
Average total cost of most adoptions $22,000 $35,000 $22,500

* Medical expenses are only involved in 30% of all domestic adoptions. Most birth mothers qualify for Medicaid or have their own insurance.
** Living expenses are only involved in 50% of all domestic adoptions.



American Adoptions, an adoption agency founded by adoptive parents, has grown to be one of the largest non-profit domestic adoption agencies in the United States. American Adoptions' director, an adoptee himself, leads a compassionate, experienced staff dedicated to the needs of Birth Parents, Adoptive Families, and Adoptees.

I think if we were ever to adopt I would try for an international child, from my home country of Mexico, or maybe from Thailand or India or the nearby regions.

In the ideal world I would want to adopt a baby who's mother I could talk to and find out at least a little bit about the famiyl medical history and see if she's the type of person who took care of herself when she was pregnant, etc. It wouldn't matter if it was an international or a domestic adoption.

I would want to know what to expect and know if the kid
needed some kind of special care as he grew.

Also, and this may sound harsh, there are some medical conditions I am not prepared to deal with.

I think that this is a personal decision. I think that you could be set up for disappointment either way (I've heard a lot lately about int'l ones falling through, and yes, they are very expensive), so I'm not sure.

If it were up to me, I'd start work in all the channels and pursue the one that looks like it will work best- good luck!

Good for you for wanting to adopt. My husband and his twin sister were adopted. I personally don't think I could adopt. It sounds awful to say. It makes me feel like Im a bad person but I just dont think I could. If I adopted a baby Id want to nurse it and I just dont see myself being able to fully connect with someone elses child if it were older. I do think *if* we chose to adopt Id like a child that looked similar to us so they wouldn't feel like an outsider. my husband really wants to adopt because he was given a chance to have a future and a family and I know hed like to do the same for another child. Id would go where your heart feels like youd be doing the most good. Where ever you adopt from you will be giving a child the chance at a good life.