I miss my husband and I love him so much, but I am so frustrated right now... He keeps taking so much money out of our bank account, and I know its for smokes and dip and food and junk like that, which is fine whatever. I want him to have what he needs while he is gone, but SERIOUSLY, he needs to check the fricken bank account balance before he does it...

The other night he put us into negative. I had just paid off a credit card and done all our other bills, and I go and look and we are in the hole. Thank god the bank took care of the charges, and we got paid yesterday. But I am so frustrated I cant talk to him, and tell him this.

Do the ATMs there not have the option to look at your balance? Or is it deplayed so much it dosent really matter?

What I did with my DH to keep this from happening is I opened him a seprate checking account that I just put money into every 2 weeks. Thats what he got to spend and if he need a little more all he had to do was ask. I hope you get it worked out girl.

I just wish I could talk to h im to get it worked out, then everything would be ok

I hope you get to talk to him soon to get it all straighted out.

A lot of times if bills have just been paid they won't show up in your account for a few days at least - so if he's checking, he could have thought you had a lot of money left still. However, a lot of guys won't think to check the balance, they'll just assume there's money in there because they're making money, right? (:rolleyes)

A lot of times if bills have just been paid they won't show up in your account for a few days at least - so if he's checking, he could have thought you had a lot of money left still. However, a lot of guys won't think to check the balance, they'll just assume there's money in there because they're making money, right? (:rolleyes)


Thats what Im thinking, he just didnt think to check it... And Im so not mad at him for taking out money, but I just wish he had checked, and then maybe taken out half instead of the whole amount he did. We should have set something up for him to have another checking account, but our bank was here, and we were in NY. I dont know.

:hugs We had the same issues through the entire deployment. DH goes spending crazy while deployed, and I can't seem to convince him otherwise. :neutral It has caused a lot of arguments, but nothing has ever been settled with us. I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I do know what you're dealing with. :hugs

:hugs We had the same issues through the entire deployment. DH goes spending crazy while deployed, and I can't seem to convince him otherwise. :neutral It has caused a lot of arguments, but nothing has ever been settled with us. I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I do know what you're dealing with. :hugs


Well before we left, we set up a budget for him.. He couldnt spend more than 100 dollars, unless it was something he had to have, like an emergency... But I figured he wouldnt take money out, since he left with some.

But if he keeps doing this, I might beat him up.... It dosent help you get charged with ATM fees.

He's able to check the balance. If the system you guys have right now is not working then I would talk to him about opening a 2nd checking acct. and puting money there for his expenses. Can you at least email him and make him aware of what's going on?

He's able to check the balance. If the system you guys have right now is not working then I would talk to him about opening a 2nd checking acct. and puting money there for his expenses. Can you at least email him and make him aware of what's going on?


Nope, thats the hard thing, he is only in kuwait right now, and then after that all we have are letters to go on, and sometimes phone calls... But I havent had a call yet but once, the day after he left.

So really its a waiting game.

I would open him a separate account, that way it doesn't mess with your budget. and he knows he has x amount of dollars for him. This has saved a lot of issues between me and my dh during deployments. Also helps that I canceled his card to our account so he didn't have any access to it. :devil but it was after he had his own card, so he wasn't penniless.

I would open him a separate account, that way it doesn't mess with your budget. and he knows he has x amount of dollars for him. This has saved a lot of issues between me and my dh during deployments. Also helps that I canceled his card to our account so he didn't have any access to it. :devil but it was after he had his own card, so he wasn't penniless.


Well see the thing is, I sent him a letter telling him, but thats all we have. If I get a phone call from him, it will be like every few months because of where he is going and what he is doing...

So I just have to wait till he sees it in the letter.

I know the waiting game sucks. :hugs

Are there checking/debit accounts available that WON'T let you withdraw if it puts you in the negative? I know some debit cards won't let you make a transaction if you don't have enough $$ in your account...maybe something like that would be helpful if you open a 2nd account..that way you can give him his "allowance" and he can't over-spend? I know it's so hard to do when you have limited communication--I hope you get this all sorted out, though! :goodvibes

yeah and if he keeps doing it, ill just cancel his card all together, and he can live off what i send him in packages lol

can you tell im frustrated?

Are there checking/debit accounts available that WON'T let you withdraw if it puts you in the negative? I know some debit cards won't let you make a transaction if you don't have enough $$ in your account...maybe something like that would be helpful if you open a 2nd account..that way you can give him his "allowance" and he can't over-spend? I know it's so hard to do when you have limited communication--I hope you get this all sorted out, though! :goodvibes


See I need to go to the bank and try and figure it out, but we have bank of america, and they normally wont let me make changes without DH being there, since he is the one with the signature card. And the lady on the phone told me they wont take my POA.

So I dont know what Im going to do.