The past couple days have been extra tough. Can't exactly put my finger on why. I :pray this is PMS and I will snap out of it soon. It doesn't seem like it though. I feel so fucked up. My eyes and my head feel weird and the only way I can get a little bit of relief is to stare off into space. And then my eyes either cross or my vision goes blurry. It's been difficult to read I have to constantly refocus. I have spent less time on the computer thinking it was eye strain or something but it doesn't make a difference. It is so weird I can't describe it. I am dizzy, my head feels heavy, everytime I move my head I can feel every little thing in my neck creaking. I've hardly slept :tired

DB hasn't sounded so good today and yesterday. But there have been other days like that, and I have still been able to at least know I made him smile. Today I was silent because I had to try so hard to hold back from crying. Then he sounded even more sad that I was sad, and said he is worried about me. I can't even fake it for him that I am doing well. It feels like someone is kicking my throat in and stabbing my chest. :sadeyes

My brother came home for R&R on Friday night. My feelings were really hurt that I found out through my Dad and not my brother himself. Then I was completely heartbroken when he didn't bother to call me yesterday or today. I am too disgusted with his wife to be able to call her cell phone to reach him. SIL is :screwy. She makes me :pukey Today we are having a get together for him at my parents house. I feel sick to my stomach. I don't want to go. I don't want to leave my house. DB was mad at me for saying that. I feel bad for saying it, but I can hardly hold myself together today and I haven't even left the house yet. :(

I hope things calm down for you :hugs

Thank you :goodvibes

Have you every thought of massage therapy? My lil sister is a LMT. Massage therapy helps with depression and stress. Trust me, they work. They really heal your mind, body, and spirit!

Try to get into conact with a massage school, they are so much cheaper. Or if you can't find a school, look for massage clinic or personal massuse and not a spa (the spa's are nice, but totally over priced). If you contact them, explain your situtation and you might be able to get a better deal! :)

:bigsadhug I really hope you feel better

you should go because even though youre upset with your brother, you still love him. I think you need a vacation lol! And try not to be too upset when he calls cause it will only make him feel worse. feel better!!

:glomp I hope you start to feel better sweetie. If you continue to feel like this you might consider going and seeing a doctor. It could just be from the stress of it all but even if that's it a doctor can give you something for that.

:glomp I hope you start to feel better sweetie. If you continue to feel like this you might consider going and seeing a doctor. It could just be from the stress of it all but even if that's it a doctor can give you something for that.

I have an appointment this Friday. I have been considering canceling it because I feel so hopeless. I know there isn't a pill that will make this deployment any easier without making me look like this: :tired But, I am going to go. And that is one of the things I am going to tell my doc.

Have you every thought of massage therapy?

I have, put the thought of a stranger touching me :puke I am also extremely ticklish! I can't even enjoy a pedicure :lol

:hugs

BTW, I did attend the get-together... briefly. My SIL's entire family came too (unexpected). (VERY late :mumble My family was annoyed) I was already emotional to begin with today, DB called and said he will be on a mission the next couple days, and then seeing my brother got me even more choked up. Fortunately, when he hugged me to say hello...you won't believe this...I stepped in dog shit. :lol So that kept me from crying.

But anyway, I was really overwhelmed with so many people (who are basically strangers to me). I couldn't eat and had a hard time socializing, even with my own family. I lasted about 2 hours then I told my Mom I had to get home to get dinner to my grandmother, she was fine with it, she knew I wasn't with it today. I tried to slip out unnoticed but my brother saw me leaving and said bye. He was the only one. I couldn't even bring myself to hug him, I was so choked up. So I opted for a fist pound :yo It's always a smooth alternative. It makes me really sad :tears He's so much cooler when he gets out of the grasp of his wife. I want my big brother back! :vent I drove home crying.

My head is throbbing now. I'm going to lay down and snuggle with my pup.

i hope things get better for you,and that everything starts going your way.