Well , as some of you know I wasn't handling DB's deployment very well the first week or so. Then with the help of you guys and communication with him I began to feel somewhat normal again. The problem is that for some reason I've taken a few steps backwards this week. I seem to be so depressed attimes I cant even function. I even called in sick to work on thursday because I couldn't get out of bed........... the only time I feel ok in the last 5 days is when were talking on the phone. Isn't this suppose to get easier not harder?? Why is this happening and what can I do to make it stop??

everyone is different and experience things differently. For me i do progress from hard to easy, but at the same time one little thing can really ruin a few days or even a week. If you find yourself not being able to function normally for a few days then that is normal. deployment is a roller coaster of emotions, some are high, some are really low. and of course there is somewhere in the middle too. you just have to roll with the ride so to speak.

I should also mention, normal is really just a setting on the washing machine. it's all relative, what is normal to me might not seem normal to you. kwim? if you find yourself being non functional for more than a week or not being able to do the smallest task without freaking out then that would be a problem. but a few days of crying because you are sad is pretty :quote normal :quote for a military SO. :D

I'm really glad that SOS has been helpful for you :thumbsup

Whats happening is totally normal. I go through the same ups and downs. :nutts I was soooooo down the past couple of days, but I woke up early this morning feeling fine, even cooked a good breakfast! Reminding myself of that is what helps me cope with the really low points of this deployment. I know that feeling so bad is only going to last so long. It won't get easier. It will always be hard, you have to work with it and adapt.

I totally understand about you calling in sick to work. I haven't been able to hold a job :no It's self destructive to make decisions like that though. Work is important, not just for financial reasons, but at this point for your wellbeing. Sticking with a routine, especially your work schedule, is going to play a huge part in keeping you on track. Staying productive will help you feel like you still have a purpose and a reason to get out of bed, even when your man is away.

You know how tempting it was for me to go back to sleep after breakfast today? Extremely. :oops My boyfriend is on a mission and I probably won't talk to him for a couple of days. It's always easier to sleep than be awake and be worried. But I got on here and I cheered up. And, UPS came and delivered a package for me :raise I would've missed that had I fallen back asleep! And just now, reading your message made me feel better and not so crazy that I have so many highs and lows.

So next time you feel like you can't make it to work, or any commitment you have -- log on here. There is always someone here. Go into work late if you need time to pull yourself together. (Or get to work and log on :lol) I hope you get out of your funk soon :hugs

BTW, if you find yourself feeling really depressed and not functioning for 2 weeks, or if you think about hurting yourself or anything, make an appt to see a doc. Meds or therapy can be very helpful. :yes

Everything you have described is very normal. Deyployments are not ment to be easy by any means and there are days where it is harder than others. Time will help and a routine will help as mentioned. good luck sweetie!

That sounds completly normal to me girl. Yes it does get easier but that doesn't mean won't have your days where is seems like the world is falling apart. I only have 5 days till me DH is back from deployment and yesterday I spent most of the day crying cause I missed him so much. You have your ups and down.Hnag in there girl...HUGS

Well for me dealing with DB's deployment has been an emotional rollercoaster. Since his leave he's been back in Iraq now for almost three months and I still get really moody. I also have really bad mood swings. I'll go from being really happy to really sad in about two seconds. I agree with the other ladies, it's only not normaly if you can't even function. You're never going to be ok with your SO being overseas. And you will always have those moments of weakness that you need to break down. :hugs

There are going to be times when you feel like you can handle this and you totally have it together. Then you will have days where you feel like you can't go on and are totally miserable. That is normal though. Everyone has ups and downs. My best advice, push through those hard times. Go to work and do the things you normally would do. It's better to have a routine.

That's why they say going through a deployment is like riding on a roller coaster. There will be days when you feel low and days where you feel like you are the Queen or the world :) I think you probably should go and talk to someone. A counselor can give you some techniques on how to deal with it a little better.
I would tell you, go excersise even if you feel like sh*& and go and do things you love doing. Stay busy! and know a deployment is not something permanent, he will be back and things will be just like before :)

I hope that what you are experiencing is normal, because I am riding the same ride. This is my first deployment and probably one of the hardest things I've had to do in life, thus far. I do agree with the other ladies, if you feel yourself not coming back up, talking to a doc might help. Prior to even meeting DB, I was put on Lexapro, and I think that being on that has made my downs, not sooo down. Ya know??

I think that its totaly normal, I am the same way one minute I am fine the next I am depressed and feel like I can't function while he isn't here because I am all consummed with him being gone. And like you feel better when I have spoken to him. I didnt want to come into work today, but i just push myself because I know that if I have things to do i wont sit around and think all day, so keeping busy is really good. Problem is on the weekends i try and stay busy by going out shopping and boy I so can't afford that.

I think it does get easier, but you will always have days when you feel down, I think we all suffer from that.

So hugssssss to you and try and focus on being busy.

I wanted to say that, if you ever need to chat you can PM me, you don't have to feel alone in this, and you can and will get through this, you have all of us to help you. I am so glad I found this place SOS has helped me so much in the past months.

I am completely new to all of this and my boyfriend doesn't leave for another month or so, but I can tell you that while hes gone I will be running every night...its a great stress relief and I always feel better afterward