Okay so I know there was a thread about worrying about our men and other women...but for me it's a little different.


My husband is one of those guys who I feel like I never have to worry about...he's just a really honest person...i think that if he came to me telling me that he had cheated on me, i would seriously not believe him. :wowsers

but heres the thing...he is constantly telling me he is worried about me cheating on him when he deploys!

So let me make it clear that I have never cheated on anyone in my life, and i would never cheat on him...i would be sooo stupid to ever hurt him like that...i tell him this every time he kinda mentions it, and he SAYS that he trusts me..... but he always kind of jokingly brings it up later.

my fear is that he has it in his head that i am going to cheat when he's gone and when he gets back he wont believe that i didnt...and it will start to change the relationship...:no

has anyone gone through something similar....

help

He doesn't worry about me because he knows I don't play that cheating or flirting bs.

Nope... but I'm old! ;)

ughhh... i just feel like all the guys he lives with at the barracks are filling his head with crap. They keep on giving him stupid stats like 1/4 marriages end in divorce after deployment or some crap....and they keep telling him that i'll cheat on him blah blah.


i reassure him constantly...but i think they are getting to him:(

=

ughhh... i just feel like all the guys he lives with at the barracks are filling his head with crap. They keep on giving him stupid stats like 1/4 marriages end in divorce after deployment or some crap....and they keep telling him that i'll cheat on him blah blah.


i reassure him constantly...but i think they are getting to him:(

Even the cadences they sing at BCT are about their wives/gf's cheating. :rolleyes

It's something you BOTH are going to hear a lot. You have to have trust in each other 100% no matter what anyone says or does. If not...I'd re-evaluate the relationship.

i told him i never cheated on anyone, and i never will. He believes me but his ex-girlfriend cheated on him..so baisiclly his friends are watching every step i take.

thats horrible about the cadences....

maybe he's just worried. I hope once he starts getting all my care packages etc he'll calm down.

LOL, no.

Short of him walking in and finding me in bed with another guy, I don't think it even phases him.

He did tease me while he was in Australia though. He called about 2 days before he came home and said, "Did you get all of Sancho's shit out of the house? I don't want to find anything..."

he prob is having a hard time believing you, not because of trust issues or anything but neither of you are there yet. and it's almost imposable to garantee what will happen in the future. there have been many times when i've been on the phone with my man and some one was having a "bad" phone call. i think it's a way for them to prepare themselves for the posibility so that it wont hurt as bad if it happens. my man and i send lots of dirty letters and can get fairly graphic on the phone. i think him knowing how much i think about being with him again secures his manhood or whatever it is. just always try to remind him how he makes you feel like no other man can.

ughhh... i just feel like all the guys he lives with at the barracks are filling his head with crap. They keep on giving him stupid stats like 1/4 marriages end in divorce after deployment or some crap....and they keep telling him that i'll cheat on him blah blah.


i reassure him constantly...but i think they are getting to him:(

I totally know what you're saying. DF listens to that crap, and the fact that his ex cheated on him with his best friend in the corps...ugh. :tsktsk

It makes it hard for him to trust me, not because he thinks I will do something, but just from the past and what people say. I told him that I don't know how else to prove to him that I will still be faithful and be his than to just do it for the rest of our lives. I think eventually he will see that I'm not going to hurt him and he will get over it. :yes

yea, mine has the same fear. usually things are ok between us but then he has his moments. asking me who im with or when im going to leave him. looking at his past relationship (and the stories other guys tell) i can see why he has these delusinal ideas but still, it hurts my feelings sometimes..

I don't think it's because he doesn't trust you, they just hear so much of that happening from their buddies that it just plants a seed in their mind and they want to constantly reassure themselves that everything is ok. My dh and I know we will never cheat on each other, but he constantly thanks me for being more concerned about being his wife and the mother to our child than hitting the clubs and living it up while he is away. Some of his buddies even tell him things like "I bet she's out tonight dancing with some other guys..." but he just responds with "wanna bet anything on that? We can go get her on the cam right now." It's like he defends my loyalty to our marriage constantly. It'll get better once he sees how you respond to his deployment.

my boyfriend is like that, too. he was cheated on by a past girlfriend while he was in bootcamp, so it's tough for him. he's gotten a lot a lot better since we started dating- i just keep reassuring him that i would never do that to him, and try to be patient with him when he "jokes" about it.

I think it is just that he's being surrounded by people and a "culture" where it is common for the woman to cheat and for the other guys to give him a hard time and tell him that it will happen, when with you it won't.

Unfortunately, there is no way to prove to him that you won't, but you just have to be strong and supportive. send him emails, letters, packages, etc.

I don't think it's because he doesn't trust you, they just hear so much of that happening from their buddies that it just plants a seed in their mind and they want to constantly reassure themselves that everything is ok. My dh and I know we will never cheat on each other, but he constantly thanks me for being more concerned about being his wife and the mother to our child than hitting the clubs and living it up while he is away. Some of his buddies even tell him things like "I bet she's out tonight dancing with some other guys..." but he just responds with "wanna bet anything on that? We can go get her on the cam right now." It's like he defends my loyalty to our marriage constantly. It'll get better once he sees how you respond to his deployment.

yeah, see i know the guys he lives with do the same thing. I don't live with my husband because I go to school in Texas. He thinks that i am more likely to cheat because I go to school, work and live on my own..."it just scares me" he says.... It makes me feel better that other women are having the same problem....

I will send him care package after care package and emails constantly...thats the last thing i need him worrying about when he deploys.

nope he doesn't worry. he used to a bit when we were just dating, then i married him so he doesn't worry anymore. that's not to say that he doesn't think that i'm sexy or anything anymore but he knows where my heart lies

well my dh had a problem with that when he first deployed..the only thing is he was so weird..i was pregnant at the time w/ our son and he still thought i'd do something..but i showed him noone could get in between us even though he always thought about it.. then when he came back from deployment he knew i was being faithful.. so i guess your man just needs to be reassured from time to time..i mean i know im only 20 but i learn alot from people mistakes and mine too. ;)

No. We were talking a few days ago and he told me I actually get away with cheating on him cause he believes I would never cheat on him. He is right. I never would and never have.

I'm the same way with him. It would take alot for me to believe he cheated on me. I just don't believe he ever would. Plus, I've told him many many times if the thought of him wanting someone else crosses his mind he needs to let me know and we'll divorce. I'll keep it civil, too. Now if he cheats on me, haha, I'll take him for all he is worth.

well my dh had a problem with that when he first deployed..the only thing is he was so weird..i was pregnant at the time w/ our son and he still thought i'd do something..but i showed him noone could get in between us even though he always thought about it.. then when he came back from deployment he knew i was being faithful.. so i guess your man just needs to be reassured from time to time..i mean i know im only 20 but i learn alot from people mistakes and mine too. ;)

GEEZ, lol you think because of the pregnancy he wouldn't... hah well that makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER. I will just be a great wife and hopefully after a little bit he will realize "okay she isn't going to cheat..."


thank you girls. (L)

No. We were talking a few days ago and he told me I actually get away with cheating on him cause he believes I would never cheat on him. He is right. I never would and never have.

I'm the same way with him. It would take alot for me to believe he cheated on me. I just don't believe he ever would. Plus, I've told him many many times if the thought of him wanting someone else crosses his mind he needs to let me know and we'll divorce. I'll keep it civil, too. Now if he cheats on me, haha, I'll take him for all he is worth.

hahahahahaha. awww i love you. :D

Nope... but I'm old! ;)

LOL me to.......he doesn't worry. Way to old to be doing stupid stuff like that.

And I am sure your DH is just feeling a little insecure, because he is leaving you, just keep reassuring him.

yeah, I just found out today that DB has the same fears. He said hes heard so many stories of guys who come back from deployment and find their girlfriends/wives w someone else. It does kinda hurt my feelings because I have never given him any reason to feel that i wouldnt be faithful to him. I guess he is just nervous about being away and once he starts to get the letters/packages etc...he will cool off a bit.

I was getting me nails done last friday, and DH called.. I told him that wasn't doing anything, then the Vietnamise guy who was painting my nails said something to the girl next to him..

DH got all stirred up, and said, "WHO is there with YOU???"

It actualy made me feel kinda good.. :wub

He doesn't worry about me because he knows I don't play that cheating or flirting bs.

:yes

i think he worries sometimes but he know i dont play that game so if he does he shouldent

"Did you get all of Sancho's shit out of the house? I don't want to find anything..."

:lol that sounds like something I would say :lol

We don't really worry about things like that. He knows I respect him and love him totally and I know he feels the same way.

I do remember on our 1st deployment though I was doing very bad emotionally and the very 1st time we spoke on the phone I told him "J we need to talk" (I just wanted to let him know how hard it was on me" but before I could talk he was like "Shaky, you still want to be married to me right? :sadeyes " poor thing! I was like "are you kidding me??!!" that would never cross my mind!

My Fiance thinks i'll end up cheating on him while hes gone...we've had rough patches in our relationship but I would NEVER do that do him..it would kill him..When he was in bootcamp he told me that the people would say "you can trust a shipmate with your life but not with your wife" that TOTALLY pissed me off, he finally got over that though..but he still thinks stuff and it totally sux. I think he says stuff like that so if it did end up happening, which it wont, that he would be ready for it and would have expected it and it wouldnt hurt him as bad.

DF jokes about me "leaving" him, but he has told me that he knows I wont cheat. So I guess I'm confused. I think when guys share "stories" of what girls from back home did, DF gets worried. I think it's normal and happens to everyone

awww thanks ladies, that makes me feel SOOO much better.

Andrew only lets me know he's worried on one of those rare occasions(when he's mushy) and usually it shocks me. Saying how he's worried later on down the road when he have kids that i might get so frustrated and leave him for someone that around more. Start a family with someone else. Or that one of those time we get into a fight and he's far away the right person might be there at the wrong time. I'm like hello you dufus i dont have any male friends and i'm so head over heels in love with you its made me retarded. :P I think once in a while they just get panicky. It's nice to know they care but if it gets to be too much then it can cause deeper problems of trust. One thing Andrew brings up (and it drives me nuts) is something off of that movie Jarhead. Where the main characters gf always talks about this great listener at work and eventually cheats on him while he's deployed. Well stupidly i bought that book for Andrew while he was on course. So every once in awhile he'll say so you find that good listener. Irks me :P

hahaha i know tim is always saying "don't send me a video like in jarhead"

i guess she sent him a sex tape of her and the other guy...

dunno, never seen the movie

Even the cadences they sing at BCT are about their wives/gf's cheating. :rolleyes

It's something you BOTH are going to hear a lot. You have to have trust in each other 100% no matter what anyone says or does. If not...I'd re-evaluate the relationship.

I know about the Marine Corps cadences. My Dh does not worry about me cheating at all.

DB doesn't worry. He knows that my heart...and other areas of my anatomy ;) belongs to him and him ALONE.

I think if I weren't pregnant, J would be more concerned about that. I think a small lack of trust just comes with the territory. Separation does that. Every one of us in the backs of our minds...no matter how much u trust each other...is saying "well....maybe..." We just have to be willing to violently kill that voice :voodoo

OH YEAH!!! I just had that exact conversation with DB not too long ago. But it's because he was cheated on his ex fiance whenever he was gone for BCT. I think they're just worried because we are around a lot of guys and they're insecure about leaving us alone for so long.